As much as I hoped to never be compelled to use the word “Slackoisie” again, something new comes to me and the little devil on my left shoulder whispers in my ear, “you can’t ignore this.” I can’t.
Following some of my past posts on the subject of Gen Ys demands and characteristics, I’ve received a wealth of colorful comments informing me in well-chosen expletives of a few salient details, foremost of which is that I am a blithering idiot and have grossly mischaracterized an entire generation. While I’m not inclined to support the proposition that there are two sides to every story, I do believe that the Millennial should have the chance to defend and explain themselves.
My young friend Adrian Dayton has sought to carry the water for his generation, establishing himself as the voice of reason for the unreasonable. There is now some competition for the job, Meet Edmund Scanlan.
He’s 32 years old and views his purpose in life to tell American CEOs how to do their job. He “strongly believes” (as in lawyers who “strenuously object”) that all CEOs should all be on twitter, for example. He used to believe that everything sounded way cooler if you put 2.0 after it, but no longer believes that since Obama used it to describe the Whitehouse (which makes it uncool by definition). But foremost, he explains why it’s necessary for all of us to “reinvent” the day job.
In case you’re wondering, “hey, is this guy available to take control of my firm and guide us successfully into the future,” the answer unfortunately is no. He already has a company, called Total Attorneys, dedicated to selling lawyers the road map to work/life balance. He offers this Slackoisie manifesto:
A new generation is starting to establish leadership positions in companies all of this country. They are driving change. They are driving innovation. You should want them driving in your company!
This generation wants work to be in balance with outside interests, like playing in band, acting, family time, traveling, and maybe all of those. Working 70 hours a week is not acceptable. Hyper productivity in 38 hours, perfect!
They want the company they work for to be fun.
They want the company they work for to be different.
They want the company they work for to have integrity.
They want the company they work for to treat them like an individual and not with a one sized fits all HR policy.
They want to be enabled to make decisions and impact rapid change. The way something was done yesterday is rather boring to this generation.
I want my firm to be fun too. Now if all my clients would just send me money and stop calling me and telling me all those depressing stories about how miserable they are because of being prosecuted. Or expecting me to show up in court every single time they are required to be there, or worse still, when that mean man in the black robe says something about trial and prison. Seriously, doesn’t he understand that sometimes you just want to sleep late? Like he’s not going to be there the next day? Sheesh.
And for all you Biglaw managing partners, open your minds to the idea of our newest, youngest, neediest brethren, who only want the right to tell you how the firm should be run. Is that too much to ask? Just because you are the managing partner doesn’t mean you get to tell them what to do. Just because clients pay the freight doesn’t mean that they have to jump every time a partner tells them to work on the client’s case. You guys just don’t get it.
And if you just change everything you do to make these emerging leaders happy, like paying them even thought they aren’t working or the work they produce is incomprehensible crap, you will WIN! Scanlan “strongly believes” so, and isn’t that good enough for you?
Now some of my fellow curmudgeons might challenge the lack of logic, intellectual depth and rank immaturity of Scanlan’s ideas, just as they do with Adrian, who ask how a kid who’s total work legal work experience can fit in a thimble believes that he’s entitled to tell the world it’s wrong. Do we “just not get it 2.0” as Scanlan asserts? Isn’t it enough that this is what the Slackoisie wants and demands? Don’t we have to change everything because they say so?
Tough questions all from these future leaders. And if you don’t answer them immediately, they’re going to whine, stamp their feet and stay down in the basement and refuse to come up for dinner. Maybe they’ll even hold their breath until they’re blue in the face. How would that make you feel?
Dollars to donuts, one of our future leaders is going to respond by saying, “I know you are but what am I.” They think I’m a very mean old man.
H/T Venkat
Discover more from Simple Justice
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Scott:
I thought I would try to leave a little hope in your mean old heart. 🙂
Let me start by saying that I have no intention of defending an entire generation. My intention in this comment is to be a witness to my own experience and not a lawyer advocating a position.
I am young by most measures. I assure you that I:
– Usually exceed 40 hours in my first 4 days of the work week.
– Left the jail last night at 7:00 (a Friday night) because, well, clients in jail are right at the top of my priority list.
– Am on the eat-what-you-kill plan. And I like to eat, so I kill.
– Have no one to pat me on the back and don’t need anyone to pat me on the back.
– Don’t have time to defend an entire generation; I am too busy working.
Now, does that at least give you some hope for the future?
Your witness, counselor.
And I want a pony, and a blowjob (not, I must emphasize, from the pony), and a diamond rocket car.
Yes, indeed it does, Jeremy. You are exactly the point, that you will not be characterized by generational generalities. You just do your job, rep your clients and work your butt off. The leaders of tomorrow aren’t the guys playing computer games at work, no matter what the self-proclaimed gurus have to say. You are the future.
The pony is deeply offended.
Alright, I’m pretty laid back about work-life-income balance, but this time the manifesto even annoys me.
But if you look at what they’re selling—lawyer-specific office services, case management, billing, and marketing—it all sounds pretty normal. They’ve just added attitude, I guess.
It’s kind of like those energy drinks: Sugar and caffeine is sugar and caffeine, but it sounds a lot cooler if you call it Red Bull, or Radioactive.
Total Attorneys. I guess Extreme Attorneys was already taken. (Er, no, but it is now.)
Here’s my biggest problem with this:
“Hyper productivity in 38 hours, perfect!”
There’s nothing wrong in my opinion with wanting work less. I think it’s tough to practice law casually but that doesn’t mean you cannot eventually find yourself in a situation where you just take on less work (and are paid less). But the idea that technology is going to achieve some sort of hyper productivity as far as lawyering is concerned is nutty. The advances of the past 5-10 years have made a lot of things easier and more efficient, but none of the tools of the last 5-10 years have changed the fact that legal work takes time. Especially if you are diligent.
Maybe I’m wrong. There’s probably a teleseminar going on right know which explains the secrets??
It’s a fantasy, in which they proclaim their work to be wonderful even though it aspires to mediocrity. There’s no magic bullet to good work; it’s not about getting it done as fast as possible, but as well as possible. It just takes, well, work. And that takes time, thought, effort, diligence and more time.
But that’s not the end of the timing issue. The idea that law happens only at their convenience wholly misapprehends the nature of the profession. There are certainly days when you can leave the office early, go have a drink with friends, and there’s no loss to anyone, But when something happens, and you’re needed, and you’re needed NOW, the 38 hours is sheer lunacy. We work when our clients need us, not when it’s convenient for us.
Sorry, Joe, but I’ve got a really cool party tonight, so sit in the can until morning, if I don’t drink too much and I can wake up I’ll do your arraignment. Besides, I already did my 38 hours this week. Can this wait until Monday?
And I thought I had something negative to say about it. Wow. That really blows a hole wide open in Edmund Scanlon’s future as a slackoisie guru.
As a symbolic act of disgust, as @JuryTalk I just twitter-blocked both TA and the founder. Not that either were following me. [Which was, somehow, comforting.] I’m more offended than the pony.
As trial attorneys, we’ve chosen the Emergency Room of law practice. Not that contract law, environmental law, entertainment law, or soil law cannot have moments of chaos, but we dwell in those moments.
When was I ever able to save time that benefitted the client?
1/ A GIFTED + generous attorney allowed me to seduce or beg a wonderful motion on point with brief from him/her;
2/ A similarly gifted attorney gave me a transcript of a witness I would be cross-examining;
3/ A colleague covered a case for me while I was bleeding in another courtroom.
As private attorneys we can say NO more often to new clients, one supposes. [Assuming one doesn’t actually need the retainer.]
As public defenders we can and should announce Unprepared more often, and detail all the things we would have done if we had one more day, one more week, one more month.
I’m thinking that buying a weekly lottery ticket might be the best bet, right now, though. Reduce my stress in an affordable way for a nanosecond.