The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From the Comb-Over Tree

This isn’t just Schadenfreude. Parents of kids who manage to make it to adulthood without doing something wrong (and getting caught) have this tendency to be a bit self-righteous about it.  They look down their noses and sneer at the parents of bad kids, the budding criminal ilk.   They think to themselves, there’s a parent who failed to do his job.  There’s a parent who raised a future guest of the local hoosegow.  Hah!

Meet our newest bad parent, Rudy Guiliani.

Cops said Caroline Giuliani, 20, a student at Harvard University, was arrested after security cameras caugh her stuffing makeup into her jacket pocket at a Sephora store at E. 86th Street and Lexinton Avenue shortly before 2 p.m.

Today cosmetics.  Tomorrow, banks.  That’s right, it’s a gateway.  Or more precisely, a broken window.

While it wouldn’t be a surprise to learn that a drama student (talk about a waste of a Harvard education) caused a little drama, it comes as a shock when she’s the offspring of the most unforgiving man in New York.  But then, Rudy wasn’t always the uber-crime fighter that he fashioned himself to be.  Who can ever forget his foray into drugs?

Caught slumming uptown with his co-conspirator, Alphonse “Tacky Dresser” D’Amato, Rudy’s sordid past has come back to haunt him through his daughter.  Who would be surprised to learn that Caroline wanted to follow in Rudy’s footsteps?

And to think, she almost got away with it.

During the wait for cops to arrive, store officials established the suspect’s identity, and apparently had a change of heart and declined to press charges. But by then it was too late, and the daughter of the man who built a reputation for being tough on crime was carted out in handcuffs.

“It was captured on camera,” a law enforcement source said. “At some point the store indicated they knew who she was and that they were not going to press charges. The DA will decide whether to decline prosecution or not.”

What store manager in his right mind would want to anger the Family?  Bernie Kerik will be out soon enough and knocking on his door to have a word with him.  How would you feel if you opened your door and found yourself eyeball to eyeball with Bernie “The Fixer-Upper” Kerik?

Personally, I feel sorry for Rudy.  It’s hard to be a parent, with pressures abounding to steer a young lady away from the path of righteousness and down the road to perdition.  Drugs.  Sex.  Make-up.  It’s not easy to teach them to keep their eyes straight ahead and ignore temptation.

Especially when your father is named Rudy. 

Stiff upper lip, Rudy.  I’m with you.  And chances are she won’t do too much time in the slammer.  And even if she does, it’s not like you don’t have so decent contacts in there to smooth her way, if you catch my drift.

H/T Turkewitz, who’s the only guy I know who reads the New York Post (or admits to it).

8 thoughts on “The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From the Comb-Over Tree

  1. SHG

    At least Rudy can take comfort in the fact that Caroline leaped over heroin addiction between her supporting Obama and embarking on a life of crime.  At least, there’s no indication to the contrary.  Yet.

  2. turk

    I love that Rudy picture. The leather vest on top of the white button down shirt.

    Reminds of a famous story of Nixon going to walk on the beach during a campaign. To show he knew how to enjoy life. He was wearing his wingtips.

    By the way, good column by Gail Collins the other day on famous First Kids: Amy Carter, Bush twins, and Chelsea Clinton. They came out of the ordeal pretty well, as a whole. (Except, of course, for that one time a Bush twin tried to use a fake ID in a bar…stories don’t get much funnier than that).

  3. SHG

    You may not have heard yet, but Rudy didn’t win.  He didn’t even get the nomination.  Caroline never made it to the White House.  Come to think of it, that may be why she’s acting out.

    Nixon having a stroll in San Clemente, CA

    Nixon having a stroll in San Clemente, CA

  4. Jamison

    Nixon was trying to do the Kennedy thing. Unfortunately for him, he was missing the dog, the coat over his shoulder, the good looks, and the charisma.

  5. Ron Coleman

    There is nothing amusing about wingtips on the beach.

    Especially for a member of the bar. (Take a look at @roncoleman and you’ll see my point.)

    I’m turning all your names over to Roy Cohn.

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