Who’s The Real Prostitute?

Apparently, there’s some sort of civil lawsuit happening between soccer player David Beckham and a self-proclaimed prostitute, Irma Nici.  It sounded vaguely familiar, but not the sort of thing that generally interests me.  But when I received a “press release” from Nici’s lawyer, my interest was piqued.

Los Angeles, California, October 9, 2010. California Attorney, Paul Rolf Jensen released stunning photos of Irma Nici, David Beckham’s call-girl. Nici, a gorgeous Bosnian who is a British subject, had to be hospitalized with heart palpitations after an army of process servers, paparazzi and rugby ruffians mobbed her at the W Hotel where she was staying.

“This further proves my client’s claim that David Beckham is responsible for putting my client in the hospital. Between the stress of coming forward honestly and his spurious lawsuit, David Beckham’s reckless behavior has injured my client’s health”. “Beckham’s process server ignored an offer from Ms. Nici and requested by the hotel manager to accept service in private to avoid a media circus which has caused my client to have a nervous breakdown”. said Jensen.

She had “heart palpitations?”  An “army of process servers, paparazzi and rugby ruffians?”  Then there were the links to the “stunning photos” which are, shall we say, utterly meaningless.  Here, check them out for yourself.  Ooh, the last one has a bit of cleavage. Racy.  Does it grab your interest?

So while I still know nothing about the action and care even less, I have learned one thing from this press release.  This lawyer named Jensen makes Gloria Allred look demure.  He goes on to inform:

“I am considering withdrawing my motion to dismiss and taking the matter to trial as expeditiously as possible where I am certain that the 3rd woman in this menage-a-trois will be produced” said Jensen.

Additionally, Jensen announced his intention to call Beckham’s wife Victoria “Posh” Beckham . . .

As much of a fan of the Spice Girls as I may be, or titillated by any use of the phrase “menage-a-trois,” I regret that Jensen does not rise to superstar status by this threat.  Instead, I can’t remember when last a lawyer made such a complete, total fool out of himself.

What’s going on here?  Are lawyers so desperate for public recognition that they will do anything to try to get their name “out there”?  Apparently so, at least for this Orange County PI lawyer.   Even so, the headline to the PR is appalling:

CALL GIRL’S ATTORNEY RELEASES STUNNING PHOTOS OF WOMAN PUT IN THE HOSPITAL BY DAVID BECKHAM’S GOONS

Does the client, Irma Nici, know that her lawyer is attempting to use her, including the pathetic photos, the call girl, to sell himself?  Is this in his client’s best interests?  Is this how she wants to be presented to the world?

Bear in mind, this came to me by Jensen’s choice, not mine.  This is what he sent out blind across the internet in order to seek publicity and promote himself. 

It’s quite likely that Jensen will never represent a client in a matter with as much “sex appeal” as this matter.  Certainly, having a client sued by someone of David Beckham’s stature will give a boost to a lawyer’s name recognition.  It’s understandable that he’s trying to milk this sucker for all it’s worth.  But putting out a press release that’s so laughably bad, so flagrantly nonsensical, isn’t going to turn him into a household name.  He’s no Gerry Spence.

What he is, however, is an embarrassment.  To himself and to lawyers everywhere.  Ironic that in a case involving a prostitute, the worst turns out to be her lawyer.

9 thoughts on “Who’s The Real Prostitute?

  1. Rumpole

    If David Beckham played rugby then I could understand why the W Hotel was being mobbed by rugby ruffians.

  2. Jack B.

    I think Jensen had to send out the press release because he hasn’t figured out the awesome benefits of having a Twitter account (although that screaming headline falls neatly within Twitter’s 140 character limit).

    The Beckham/Nici case is a step up from Jensen’s previous work; see “United States vs Lakin”. To give you a hint, it’s the type of case usually handled by Orly Taitz.

  3. Lee

    I’m sure he can find me. I’ve actually heard the name before, which given his practice area means one of two things; either he advertises–which I don’t think is it–or he’s involved in the County Bar, which would surprise me not at all.

  4. SHG

    Oh, that’s right, this guy’s from your neighborhood.  Hey, there could be a job in it for you if you ever decide to go “legit.”

  5. Lee

    Ok, I googled. I probably know his name because he was a birther lawyer. He also claims law school at Duke and undergrad at Cal, but his State Bar profile is oddly empty for both undergrad and law school, which is something I have never seen before.

    [Edit. Note: This is the 25,000 comment at SJ.]

  6. SHG

    This makes me think of two interesting generic thoughts.  First, until the internet, I never really appreciated how many nutjobs there are in the world.  Second, until the internet, I never would have believed that nutjobs would be afforded the opportunity to spew their insanity so widely. 

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