It’s less than two miles from where I sit and type. Suffolk County, New York.  Doug Berman calls it prominent, which is likely do to the fact that it sticks out into the Atlantic Ocean.  Oh, and did I mention they’ve slid down the slippery slope of stupid?  It’s an odd feeling to be in such close proximity, raising fears that there’s something in the water and it’s drifting my way.

Suffolk County is the first in the nation (the very FIRST!) to come up with an Animal Abuse Registry.  That’s right, forget abused children or mass murderers, and go straight to Fluffy and Spot.  Via Newsday :

Under the measure passed Tuesday, a Suffolk resident older than 18 who is convicted of animal abuse would be required to file their name, address and photo with the registry and stay on the list for five years. It will be administered without cost to the county by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. It will be publicly available.

Those convicted of animal abuse crimes would also stay on the list for an additional five years for any subsequent conviction. The registry would only cover those convicted of abuse crimes. Those on the list would also have to pay a $50 annual fee to help fund the cost of maintaining the registry.

It’s not enough to prosecute anyone engaged in abuse, convict them and sentence them.  We need to add the scarlet letter, yet even that isn’t enough.  We need to make them pay for their own branding.  No, if they fail to pay their $50 annual fee, they aren’t punished by having their name removed from the list.  Those who fail to register and pay face a $1000 “charge” or jail.  Not criminal, of course, for that would be an unlawful sentence.  You know, civil jail and a civil “charge.”

According to aides, Democrat Republican gubernatorial quitter to Lobbyist Rich Lazio, who lost to Carl “I’m Angry, Argh” Paladino, Steve Levy, will sign the bill into law.  Why?

“There are sick individuals out there who are preying on innocent animals,” said Legis. Jon Cooper (D-Lloyd Harbor), sponsor of the bill.

Well, yeah.  That’s why it’s a crime, Jon.

Roy Gross, who heads the Suffolk County Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, said his group, which deals with over 2,000 animal abuse cases in the county per year,  believes the animal abuse registry will help to save animals.

“Most serial killers began as animal abusers,” he said. “It’s a known fact: people who hurt animals hurt people too.”

It’s always better to state those known facts than the unknown ones.  But is there a looming disaster of serial killing in Suffolk County that needs to be stopped?  Does the logical fallacy of post hoc ergo propter hoc cease at the Nassau County line?

I abhor people who abuse animals.  And that includes police officers, by the way.  But disgust at an evil act is a reason to prohibit it and punish it, not continue downstream to compound the damage of sex offenders registries by pursuing new registries.  How long will it be before there’s a registry for each of us?  You know that we all do something that someone else thinks is wrong.

Ironically, a substantial number of the animal abuse cases that arise aren’t a result of sick people who hate animals, but sick people who love them too much.  You know, the person who takes in 100 feral cats, which she can’t afford to feed.  Then animals do what nature compels of them, and we hear of the travesty of a suburban home smelling so badly of urine and feces that men in hazmat suits are called in.  Are these our future serial killers?

This trend toward registries was bad to begin with and will only get worse.  That people who are otherwise capable of walking upright are making political points off this latest bit of insanity is not merely sad, but a matter to be feared.  As otherwise normal people applaud the creation of another registry, let them consider what it means when they, their kids, their friends, find their unsmiling face online as an animal abuser.

What?  It could never happen to you?  Ever swat a fly? Step on ants?  Eat meat?  Did you think they cuddle the cute little baby lamb before they slaughter it?