For a long time, social media was trying to establish itself as the new kid in town.*  Take it seriously, its cheerleaders screamed.  Pay attention, it’s sycophants moaned.  Jump on the bandwagon or die, its adherents admonished. 

The late adapters who held back, who just didn’t care all that much or didn’t know the magic secrets, since everybody assumes there are magic secrets, came to realize that it was here to stay, in one form or another.  Whether it’s websites, blogs, Twitter, or Google Plus (is it even still alive?), it seemed like everybody was eventually working their way to the internet, and the internet wasn’t going away. 

For the handful who chose to be cautious, they stuck in a toe and tried to figure out what it all meant.  For those who had some extra cash in their marketing budget, they hired the nearest geeky looking kid to be their guru, since the assumption on the part of everyone who doesn’t own an iPad is that every teeny-bopper knows everything there is to know about the internet.  Slowly, Luddite were coming around, hearing about the new Gold Rush and thinking they were missing out on their nugget.

While we’ve come nowhere near the majority of lawyers playing the internet for all it’s worthy, there are certainly tons more than there used to be.  And what has this produced?  Noise.

Now that everyone is a marketer, many people are looking for a louder megaphone, a chance to talk about their work, their career, their product… and social media looks like the ideal soapbox, a free opportunity to shout to the masses.

But first, we’re told to make that number go up. Increase the number of fans, friends and followers, so your shouts will be heard. The problem of course is that more noise is not better noise.

For those who don’t quite grasp the digital world, the first goal always seems to be numbers. Anything that can be quantified grabs the n00bs immediately, and they set about making what they believe to be the right noises to manufacture numbers.

LexBlog boss Kevin O’Keefe, who has long had a schizophrenic relationship with numbers and quantification, saw this when he wrote about Findlaw paying good money to game twitter followers. They bought “promoted” followers, in order to create the appearance of being a player that people want to follow. 

Their new followers, of course, were the ones who didn’t have much of a clue about how twitter works, and so they used the “who to follow” feature, that was gamed by Findlaw, to bulk up their own numbers.   Findlaw has a sad history of trying to manufacture relevance on the internet, and an even sadder history of doing so at the expense of ignorance newcomers.

People who have  big numbers in social media call themselves “rock stars.” The irony is that they are almost invariably puny in real life. They have no substance, and exist only in their social media persona as quantified by their numbers. Followers aren’t following because they want to buy what you’re selling, but because they want you to buy when they’re selling.  They’re all selling, and hoping there’s somebody out there buying.  As Seth Godin said, everyone is a marketer.  Maybe not everyone, but almost.

And so we’re inundated with noise.  More noise than anyone can stand, anyone can take.  The ambient room noise on the internet has grown so loud that we can’t hear ourselves think anymore.  And it’s going to get much worse, as every day a converted Luddite adds his noise to the mix.

Lawyers, like most others who want to establish their viability on the internet, are more guilty of creating noise than most.  For those selling a product, even if its garbage, deceptive, cookie-cutter websites like Findlaw, they at least have something concrete to offer.  If you want what they’re selling, it’s there to be bought.  It’s far harder for lawyers, who can’t point to something shiny and plastic and proclaims it’s new and improved, or has faster 4G than the lawyer next door.  A lawyer sells something too ephemeral to easily quantify. 

As all the lawyers who pretend to be social media rock stars, even if they do so by feigning self-effacement as their marketing persona, would tell you if they were at all honest, is that it’s far easier to rack up numbers than it is to convert numbers into a thriving law practice.  No matter how many words they murder in the process, how many people they follow on twitter in the desperate hope of a follow-back, how many sweet replies to comments by 12-year-olds, or former soviet citizens who call themselves Brittany on the interwebz, it just doesn’t seem to convert numbers to substance. 

Yet lawyers keep hopping on the social media train, fearing that they will be the only left without a client.  To get up to speed, since they are so far behind the curve already, they go to CLE courses that give credit for learning how to lie on the internet.  They find pimply-faced kids to explain the intricacies of twitter. They hire the social media arms of well known companies who specialize in creating an overnight internet persona using the same words they sell to a thousand other lawyers, none of which actually apply.

They do not produce thought, insight and expertise, despite the guarantee of the social media gurus.  They produce only noise. And in the process of desperately trying to catch up on this phenomenon, they sacrifice their dignity, integrity and intelligence. That’s the price of noise.

There is no benefit in adding to the noise.  None.  Don’t waste your time. Don’t made the noise worse.  There’s nothing happening here that will change your life.

* For regular readers, or those who have a passing familiarity with social media, this post isn’t for you.  It’s intended for those readers who are new to the blawgosphere and considering whether to “hop on the train or die.”  It’s offered not as deep insight, but a warning, hopefully to save some poor schmuck from making a foolish mistake.