Somebody likes The Honorable Catherine Lhamon. Bet you didn’t even know you could die from sexual harassment, but it must be true or you couldn’t be a survivor.
Kinda interesting that “Guidance” has morphed into requirements for which financial penalties are imposed. But when they involve “great steps forward,” why quibble?
Let’s say you do really poorly in school, whether because you’re too lazy, or are too busy protesting social injustice to do your readings, or you’re just a dolt. But you’ve got a big student loan outstanding, and the Dean of Academics is about to toss you out on your ear because you are walking reminder that admissions makes mistakes. What to do?
Become a survivor!
But how to prove you’re really a survivor? Easy-peasy. First, OCR won’t require any of that icky documentation, like a police report to show that anything happened. After all, it’s not like the cops are going to take a report on your having been stare raped at the bar, right? And besides, you were drunk, so you can’t be expected to be responsible for anything. But surely there must be something, some evidence, needed to enjoy the fruits of forbearance.
Bingo! One quick call to the rape crisis center, the “telemental health provider,” and your debt goes “poof”!
And who is showing this love and appreciation to The Honorable Lhamon, not to mention the sad survivors?
This is the letter sent by the Member of Congress for the 14th District of California, who has also proposed the new federal revenge porn law. If nothing else, the good citizens in her district can’t complain that she’s not doing anything. On the other hand, somebody has to make up for the forbearance and cancellation of student loans for survivors. Who could that possibly be?
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Rage in the kitchen much?
How’d you know?
Likewise, provide the same “benefits” for those falsely accused of the evolving definition of rape.
But they’re not survivors. You aren’t getting this at all.
As if the best of the staged accident con men and ambulance chasers came up with a brilliant, well thought out scheme to reduce overhead and increase profits. Coming to a website near you: areyouasurvior.com Alas, government, yet again, invents the best incentives for the most unsavory and foolish.
But what about those of us who paid cash for our schooling? We must be double survivors, having survived not only the initial fakery, but also exclusion from the payola.
Then again, we actually got our degrees, I guess…
My mind feels violated by the contents of that letter and the PC police are still harassing me, I deserve recompense.
Please contact your lobbyist about having your Victim Category upgraded. That’s the way it works now.
There I was in the midst of renegotiating my mortgage for the third time, and all I could think about was this pesky student loan repayment chewing up my savings fund – and then an epiphany. Claim sexual assault, no need for something as traumatic as an investigation, or as invasive as a PoPo report, just a friendly mental health expert, (I was thinking my vizsla) and presto ‘loan-be-gone’.
Genius.
TO: shg
FROM: pm
RE: Survivors Can’t Pay, Dammit
“Can’t” is cant —
believe it I shan’t.
Repeat “can’t” in a chant
if you want to hear me rant,
because I’ll never grant
that the distinction between “can’t”
and “won’t” is scant.