In the comments to a post at SJ, a deeply passionate ally did his utmost to “dismantle” my frat bro “Klan circle jerk” to protect the honor of fragile womanhood. It was, to be kind, an interesting exchange.
More breaking news! A frat boy condoning non consensual sex-shocking!! You’re a mysogynist…sure you can have problems with the article, but you condone rape here and need to be called for it by other men. pink panty dropper drink…gee whatever do You mean?? im sure you felt Brock Turner should’ve gotten off too…you are the problem-not the author and not the drinking…you and your beliefs and actions…look back decades later with fondness LOL-tell that to the scores of women being raped by your bros. I’m sure You won’t publish this-bros hate to be challengers or have to think deeply about anything…but at least you should read that other men are ashamed of you and your beliefs
Nothing says “take me seriously” more than “LOL.” But Jonny had plenty more to explain to this “mysogynist.” Seriously, go read the comments. While it’s easy to enjoy this irrational ranting of a cartoon character who thought himself (sorry, still not sure of his/her/Xir’s preferred pronouns) overwhelmingly persuasive, that’s because we don’t have to endure it. We can x out anytime we want.
Not so for the twin boys of Jody Allard.
“Oh boy,” my son said, rolling his eyes. “Not rape culture again.”
We were sitting around the dinner table talking about the news. As soon as I mentioned the Stanford sexual assault case, my sons looked at each other. They knew what was coming. They’ve been listening to me talk about consent, misogyny and rape culture since they were tweens. They listened to me then, but they are 16 and 18 now and they roll their eyes and argue when I talk to them about sexism and misogyny.
There was no father there. Allard has been thrice divorced, never her fault, so that she is the only adult in these boys’ lives.
She has been married and divorced three times—her exes, of course, were the problem; her biological father abandoned her; she has “divorced” her mother, who she says is “incapable of mothering anyone”; and she’s a victim of sexual abuse. Oh, and she was born with one hand, not two;and her adopted sister, who liked to kill animals, tried to kill her. The list goes on.
That places a heavy burden on a mother to raise good boys. Allard’s answer was all about Allard.
I’m a survivor of rape and sexual abuse. My sons know this like they know I was once a reporter and I love curries and coffee. But they have never been sexually abused, and they can’t fathom what it’s like to stand in a scalding hot shower trying to burn away the touch of a stranger’s hands. I’ve told them why dismantling rape culture is so important to me, but they will never truly understand how survivors feel.
And despite being suffocated by Allard’s narcissistic indoctrination, her twin sons were unmoved.
Men who tell me I’m being too sensitive or that I don’t understand what teenage boys are like. “You don’t speak out about this stuff, mom,” they tell me with a sigh. “It’s just not what teenagers do.”
My sons are right about that much. Teenage boys, by and large, don’t speak out about slut-shaming or rape culture. They don’t call each other out when they make sexist jokes or objectify women. It’s too uncomfortable to separate themselves from the pack so they continue to at least dip their toes into toxic masculinity. In their discomfort with action, they remain passive, and their passivity perpetuates the same broken system that sentenced Brock Turner to only six months in jail.
What Allard sought to do is to use her children to vent the angst of her personal misery. Even her 16-year-old’s suicidal ideation was fodder for her own agenda.
But to publicly shame one’s children for dipping “their toes into toxic masculinity” goes beyond any acceptable realm of parenting.
No matter how often my sons remind me that they are good men, they don’t understand that being “good” is an action. You don’t earn the honor by simply shaking your head when you hear about Turner and other rapists being given lenient sentences. You earn it by acting to end rape culture, and by doing it even when it’s awkward and uncomfortable as hell.
Allard’s sons are indeed good men. That’s because they have refused to become party to their mother’s insanity. Jody Allard is a sick and twisted woman, and that any two children should be left in the care of such a person is a terrible shame. That her two sons aren’t emotional and psychological cripples is a testament to nature versus nuture, though her suicidal son suggests at least one struggles to overcome his mother’s sickness.
But that this homage to child abuse in the name of feminism appeared on the pages of the Washington Post, and was later reprinted at the Chicago Tribune, The Denver Post, Bangor Daily News, and at the Charlotte Observer, is a reminder that there may be a great many Jonny’s, irrational and incomprehensible, but true believers in the gibberish of social justice. That won’t be funny.
Some young men will overcome their nutjob mother’s abuse. Some, perhaps most, will not. When media like the Washington Post normalizes such insanity as “toxic masculinity,” because little boys should grow up to be a flaming nutjob like Jody Allard, it will be nearly impossible for these boys’ nature to overcome indoctrination. And abusive mothers, like Allard, will believe themselves empowered to impose their insanity on their children. This is a recipe for disaster.