Yearly Archives: 2016

Teacher Rapes 5 Students, Gets Probation

The facts are indistinct, but clear enough.  A former teacher at Pearl-Cohn Entertainment Magnet High School in Nashville, Tennessee, was charged with raping five students. Some of the rapes occurred at the school. Upon arrest, the teacher was released on $1000 bail.

The Metro Nashville Police Department’s Sex Crimes Unit started investigating Alston on Nov. 24, 2014 after the principal of Pearl-Cohn High School reported information she received about the teacher.

The investigation into Alston lasted several months and involved multiple interviews with students and others.

Detectives say they were told that Alston had sexual contact with several teens. Some of those incidents occurred on the school’s campus, according to officials.

While conducting “multiple” interviews may give the appearance of a great deal of work, it’s hard to imagine why it took “several months.”  Isn’t a teacher raping five students sufficiently horrible to compel the police to work a little more quickly? Continue reading

Make Drunken Choices, Win Prizes

Breaking: College students sometimes drink alcohol to excess.

When I was in a fraternity in college, the house drink was called a Blue Meanie. Its basic ingredient was grain alcohol, flavored with Blue Curacao and Triple Sec, so it tasted like lemonade. It did the trick. A few of those cool red solo cups and you were blotto.

But we knew what we were doing, and it was no one’s fault but our own if we chose to imbibe. And afterward, no matter what we did while under the influence, even if it was occasionally embarrassing (and it was), it was no one’s fault but our own. We were stupid, but we weren’t stupid about being stupid.

Ashton Katherine Carrick is a senior at the University of North Carolina, and she discovered the idea of getting drunk at college, as if no one ever did it before.

I hadn’t known it at the time, but this was my first introduction to the aspirational “blackout.” That is, intentionally drinking with the goal of submersing yourself in so much alcohol that you can’t remember what happened and the only vestiges that remain from the night before are the videos on your friends’ phones.

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Will All Law Be Business Law?

On the one hand, Indiana lawprof Bill Henderson has been a tenacious proponent of changing the way law schools teach law, On the other hand, he’s fallen under the spell of shiny magic bullets, whether technological or systemic (as in, futurist crackpot Richard Susskind’s “the end of lawyers”). Once on the slippery slope of “why not,” ignoring the damn good reasons why not, it’s hard not to slide to the bottom. That doesn’t mean he’s totally wrong.

According to the recently released government Economic Census data, lawyers disproportionately represent business rather than people.

The work of lawyers is increasingly the work of businesses rather than people.  This conclusion flows from recently released Economic Census data, which is the U.S. Government’s “official five-year measure of American business and the economy.”

For the two most recent years (2007 and 2012), the Economic Census data includes an analysis called Revenues/Receipts by Class of Customer for Selected Industries.  The chart below compares these two years for Offices of Lawyers (NAICS 541110). Continue reading

One Law To Do It All

Imagine if Congress returned from summer camp, everybody hugged and kissed, apologized for all the mean things they’ve said about the other team, and agreed to rid our nation of the scourge of tens of thousands of criminal laws and replace them all with one:

It shall be a crime to engage in wrongful conduct, as determined by the facts and circumstances.

Crazy, obviously. But in a very real way, it’s what they’ve been doing for decades now, and are continuing to do on the federal and state level by the crafting of vague and overly broad laws, laws that lack the degree of clarity to meet the requirements of the Constitution. And yet, courts uphold them.

Shon Hopwood calls for the courts to refuse to be complicit in sloppy lawmaking. Continue reading

Aren’t Lawyers Victims Too?

A twit from Clio’s “lawyer-in-residence” (whatever that means), Joshua Lenon, was an eye-catcher:

‘The average mental state of lawyers is depressed.’ Belief expressed at #shapethelaw

It’s carefully worded to show that, while it was said, it wasn’t that Josh bought it. But still, it was said at a conference with a hashtag.  This “group,” if that’s what it can be called, offers its slogan: Authentic Necessary Collaboration.  That may mean something to you. It doesn’t to me, but then, what do I know? I’m just a lawyer.

Our goal is to help shape the future in terms of how people work and how our legal system functions. This means improving the lives of both lawyers and consumers of legal services. We want to create a community of lawyers that are dedicated to practicing law with authenticity and courage. The community will support one another in creating a society in which law is used for good of all, focused on what justice is and what it means to be just. Wellness, mental, physical, and emotional health plays a core part of each member’s identity not only as a lawyer but as human. One way of doing this is to facilitate safe spaces — such as an unconference to talk about what it means to be a human and a lawyer.

We value community, collaboration, commitment to self-care.

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Bail Weather: Naive With A Chance Of Good Intentions

When something isn’t working the way you think it should, find something different. And few will argue that bail (or bond, as some refer to it instead) isn’t broken, keeping innocent people in jail pending trial for their inability to pay. This has myriad impacts, most notable among them being guilty pleas to crimes that never occurred or weren’t committed by a defendant because it gets him out now rather than sitting in the can for the next year and a half awaiting a trial that will never happen.

So why impose bail? You can’t let people arrested not appear for court in the future. That would subvert the system and reduce the majesty of the law to a farce. (For the sarcasm impaired, that was sarcasm). Under some bail regimes,* it’s also for the safety of the community, since a presumptively innocent defendant might be cut loose, re-offend and ruin a night’s sleep for the judge who let him out, causing the judge’s worst picture to appear on the front page of a tabloid and all dinner invitations to be rescinded. No judge wants to suffer such humiliation. And why take the chance, just to cut some likely mutt a break by adhering to the law.

The solution most adored is the one least subjective, and that provides the most plausible deniability to those involved, so if the shit hits the fan, the defendant who’s cut loose goes out and murders a white family, has sex with their dog, calls police mean names and then snorts crack, it won’t be the judge’s fault. Blame the algorithm! Continue reading

A Constitutional Right, Kensplained

At Fault Lines, Ken White added a wrinkle to an evergreen post amongst criminal defense lawyers.  We keep telling people to STFU.

Criminal defense attorneys say it (often in vain, often too late) to defendants and targets of criminal investigations.  Litigators say it to their angry clients.  When a lawyer says “shut up,” that doesn’t mean you should never talk about your case again.  It means that you shouldn’t talk to police without your lawyer, because the police don’t have your best interests at heart.  It means you shouldn’t talk to your pals about your case, because one of them may be trying to work off an arrest and may repeat what you say to the cops.  They may even be wearing a wire.  It means that everything you say may be used against you – criminally or civilly – and so now, in recognition of your human frailty, you should only say things in carefully controlled circumstances after the benefit of the advice of someone who knows what is going on.

You get it, right? You’ve heard it, over and over, and you don’t need to hear it again. Sure, some n00b will get internet access and have to learn it for the first time, but for you old-timers, we’re boring you. Got it.

So then comes the wrinkle: Continue reading

The Demon Constitution

Hemlines go up. Hemlines go down. So too, apparently, does the Constitution in the rhetoric of the deeply passionate.  To celebrate Constitution Day, Drake Law School in Des Moines, Iowa, is hosting a speech entitled “Guns, Speech, and Sex: The Rise of Constitutional Extremism.”

“In recent years, the Constitution has become an article of faith in the worst possible sense,” Franks said. “It is increasingly invoked to justify irrational and destructive agendas in a way that strongly resembles the way religious extremists use the Bible to advance fundamentalist views. This constitutional extremism occurs on both ends of the political spectrum: in the Right’s obsessive focus on the Second Amendment and the Left’s equally obsessive focus on the First. Though their targets are different, constitutional extremism on both the Right and Left is united in the privileging of the powerful.”

Rarely has anything so monumentally idiotic been said, no less at a law school on a day designated to honor the Constitution. But the coined phrase, “constitutional extremism,” is catchy. Rhetoric like this allows the weak-minded to rationalize why no rules should impair their achieving whatever goals they deem vital, at whatever the cost.

As for the “Left’s equally obsessive focus on the First,” that smacks of disingenuousness. These “First Amendment absolutists,” another catchy phrase enjoyed by the intellectually challenged, are hardly progressive. Continue reading

The Wells Fargo $124.6 Million

If you thought 5300 was a big number, try the payout to Carrie Tolstedt on her way out the door.

The executive who oversaw this group of rogue employees, Carrie Tolstedt, conveniently announced plans to retire over the summer and, according to Fortune, is being paid $124.6 million on the way out.

To put that in context, the penalty levied against Wells Fargo was $185 million. Somebody in the C-Suite went without an appetizer at lunch to cover that unanticipated cost.

The head honcho, John Stumpf, in an interview given to the San Francisco Chronicle, said:

“I don’t want anyone ever offering a product to someone when they don’t know what the benefit is, or the customer doesn’t understand it, or doesn’t want it, or doesn’t need it.”

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