I am still chuckling about making the Appellate Twitters explode with angry twits (I mean tweets) about my advice to young practicing lawyers not to complain about work/life imbalance (and lots of other stuff that the twitters (tweeters?) ignored). In that vein, as my daughter, her husband and my three grandchildren, all from China, are here, I am obligated to show up at home.
After all, down deep where the wild things are, I am a true believer in work/life balance particularly because (1) I now have no clients to blow off and (2) I also no longer have a child whose psychosexual development will be grievously impaired if I absent myself from an award ceremony where a prestigious participation trophy will be presented. Of course, and because I love it so, I will make time for sending folks to prison.
The foregoing explained, this is a roundabout way of telling you that this post will be short. Here goes.
Attorney General Sessions* has decided to reinvigorate the war on drugs. That is slightly stunning because, according to leakers[i]; he has been extremely busy giving away the nuclear codes to the Russians. I don’t know where he finds the time. Anyway, the reinvigoration of the war on drugs by Sessions stimulated my aging synapses and the following spilled out.
I think Sessions is wrong about the war on drugs. But not for the reasons you might think. Rather, my view is that his marketing strategy is wrong, although the substance of his message of life plus cancer is sound or at least good enough for government work. Let me explain.
The vast majority of drug dealers I deal with—white, black or brown—are terminally stupid. Let me offer Exhibit A in support of my assertion:
There are some things that may not warrant a phone call to 911, and stolen cocaine may be one of those things.
David Blackmon, 32, of Fort Walton Beach, called authorities, identified himself as a drug dealer and proceeded to report that cash and cocaine had been stolen from his car, according to a Facebook post by the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office.
A deputy responded to the scene, at which point Blackmon told him that $50 and a ¼-ounce bag of cocaine[ii] had been stolen from the car’s center console.
The deputy searched the vehicle and found the cocaine in the same spot from where it had been reported stolen. He also found a crack pipe on the floor and a crack rock near the cocaine, according to the Facebook post.
Blackmon was arrested and charged with possession of cocaine, resisting arrest without violence and possession of drug paraphernalia.
Ryan DiPentima, Florida drug dealer calls cops asking for help to find stolen cocaine, Palm Beach Post (July 18, 2017).[iii]
So, I recommend that Mr. Sessions change his marketing strategy. He should instead commence a “War on Stupid.”
Richard G. Kopf
Senior United States District Judge
[i] My fervent wish is that the leakers are found out, prosecuted and end up meeting a shot-caller at an FCI (Federal Correctional Institution) who demands to see their PSRs (presentence reports) or else.
[ii] This is about 7 grams. (Two eight balls.) By cooking the powder into crack, you can almost double the quantity. At that point, you have plenty to sell and use.
[iii] A tip of the hat to Jeff Kay, a former FBI agent, turned federal prosecutor. Jeff is retired now, but sends me amusing tidbits. I have written about Jeff before. See, for example, here. Thanks, Jeff.
*Ed. Note: As of publication, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III is the 84th Attorney General of the United States. Whether his tenure will last to the end of the day is unknown.