A Christmas Tradition, 2017

A Christmas tradition at SJ:

In years past, some have taken issue with offensive religious stereotypes reflected in this video. In years past, this didn’t strike me as a serious issue. It was funny, satire created by Jews who were able to laugh at ourselves, at others, at life. There were always people who would find something to take offense at when it touched their world, but so what?

This years seems different. This year has elevated not just the finding of things to be offended by to an art form, but the trauma suffered by such offense to be insufferable. No physical object pierced their heart. No blood gushed from a wound. But still, it was as deadly as a dagger thrust into their heart. They railed. They screamed. They first shouted in pain and horror, then they lashed out in strings of epithets at the perpetrators of offensiveness.

Some of you have wondered why I persist in defying the righteous cries of angst from the ideologically woke? Political correctness has been elevated to an art form, with scolds dictating what words and phrases you can utter, what beliefs you can hold, what is acceptable disagreement and approved civility. Some of us reject the notion that they can direct our thoughts and words, even if we don’t have any particular dispute with their views. We dispute their authority to dictate views.

If this video offends you, you don’t have to watch it. You can leave a comment about how it’s horrifying and exhausting. You can expect that it will not change my view. You can expect me to tell you to get over your compulsion to find offense whenever possible. If that makes me a terrible person in your eyes, I’m fully prepared to live with that.

You can cry all you want, wallow in your misery, rend your clothing and demand adherence to your beliefs. As for me, I plan to laugh, to enjoy the day, and to make you sad and angry while I keep thought alive. Even the thought you find offensive.

Merry Christmas to all, from this old Jew.

Oh no. He didn’t just culturally appropriate, did he?

I think it is. Does that make me evil?

Have a great day.

69 thoughts on “A Christmas Tradition, 2017

    1. SHG Post author

      I have tickets for Star Wars this afternoon. In the meantime, blogging is my present to myself, and I get to enjoy it every day. I have the best life ever.

      1. the other rob

        Merry Christmas to you and yours, Scott.

        I hope you enjoy Star Wars. We saw it last weekend (in a theater that permits both open and concealed carry – OMG!) and thoroughly enjoyed it. We’ll be watching Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever, this afternoon.

          1. the other rob

            Indeed, though I have an as yet unopened bottle of Laphroaig (along with a bottle of wine named for the 19 crimes that could get one transported to Australia) specifically for performing your version this afternoon.

        1. LocoYokel

          Where do you find one of those. Most of the ones around here have 30.06 and 30.07 signs.

          Yes, I’m hijacking the thread, if SHG allows it.

          1. M. Kase

            The beginning might have yellow text scrolling up the screen too, so don’t assume it’s over in the first few minutes.

  1. Kathleen Casey

    This video is a pip that I know and I’ll watch it later. Gotta dig out the car to make it to Mass for once.

    Hot fudge sundaes and Chinese go together!

      1. Casual Lurker

        Ah, yes, Chinese and hot fudge sundaes (with crushed nuts!) A Christmas tradition around these parts.

        As the arthritis meds kick in (so I can even type this) I got to thinking about it. In penance for spoiling your joke in the ‘Profane Rant’ thread, I offer the following…

        An elderly, frail gentleman makes his way into an ice cream parlor and manages to slowly shuffle over to the counter. With much effort he painfully manages to hoist himself on to one of the stools and orders a hot fudge sundae. The kindly waitress taking his order asks “crushed nuts”? He replies, “no, just arthritis”.

        As to the ‘Woke’, one can only hope they consume themselves, ultimately ending this new ‘inquisition’, sooner, rather than later. Unfortunately, I’m reminded of a well-known quote: “Things always get worse before they get better”.

        Merry Christmas, SHG.

  2. Richard Kopf


    Joan and I were alone on Christmas Eve and will be alone today. Our daughter, son in law and three grandchildren from China are gone. So, we decided to start a new tradition.

    Mickey D’s was open last night. By the way, Chinese food joints in Lincoln were shuttered. So, I ventured out to the Golden Arches and ordered 4 fish sandwiches and two orders of fries.

    We settled in to eat the luxurious meal and watch a gleefully violent Netflix series called the “Punisher.” “After the murder of his family, Marine veteran Frank Castle became a vigilante known as ‘The Punisher’ with only one goal in mind, to avenge them.”

    Between bites of a fish sandwich and munching on the salty fries, I drank the dry, medium bodied, Franzia Chardonnay that I so prefer. I will always savor the experience.

    I confess I thought of #Appellatetwitters at the exact moment the severed head rolled into the scene and the .50 caliber machine gun spit out it righteous vengeance. It was uplifting.

    Anyway, thanks for Simple Justice and especially for discovering and bringing to the many SJ readers your German son.

    All the best.


    1. SHG Post author

      The cultural deprivation you suffer is horrifying. You should consider moving to Iowa.

      When sadness about the misguided souls at #AppellateTwitter enters my mind, I think of my German son and it gives me hope for the future. I hope he will lead them out of the wilderness to the promised land, where the Chinese food restaurants are always open.


  3. Mike G.

    Very apropos video. I’ll be eating Chinese today.

    Hope you and yours have a great day and you got everything you wished for.

  4. michael woodward

    No trigger warning for the coconut bra on the mannequin in the photo! I see there is work yet to be done. The steering of the overly woke to the task of speaking up for the rights of mannequins, who sadly cannot speak up for themselves, and seem to suffer all manner of manipulation and exploitation, would be a worthy goal, which might cut down the white noise on the primary channels.

    Thanks and all the best for 2018.

  5. Sacho

    Merry Christmas Scott. You’re a good guy. I hope I am as cool as you when I grow up/old. I’ve learned a lot, and not just legal crap. Not much else to say.

  6. Elpey P.

    “Have a great day.”

    omg I can’t even with these PC holiday greetings.

    Thank you from the cheap seats for the enormously valuable gift of this site.

  7. Grock

    Merry Christmas from your “other” son. Today is a good day. Thankfully the GF uses a statistical weighted moving average to compute my goodness score so I made out like a bandit. Meanwhile, the dog got a new toy so he’s running around the house like a coked-up raccoon.

  8. Jeffrey Gamso

    The kids are off at other parts of their lives today. So a quiet day at home with just the two of us and the dog. Later a movie and Chinese, of course.

    Best of the season to you.

    Oh, and Merry Christmas.

  9. kushiro

    Can’t think of a better gift for oneself than a few hours spent with space heroes and laser swords. Enjoy the day!

    Also thanks for continuing to share your wit and wisdom with us. As a non-law-talking-guy, I don’t always understand what I read here, but I sure know a lot more than I did before stumbling onto this blog. And my sincerest thanks for allowing an uninformed dummy like me to post my bad jokes in your comment section.

    1. SHG Post author

      I appreciate your jokes more than you know. To come away with a laugh is a wondrous thing. Thank you, Sam, and Merry Christmas.

  10. Dan Quigley

    Merry Christmas from Seattle, where we can enjoy a rare and glorious white Christmas. A look out the window is like paging through Currier and Ives prints. We’re heading to see the Last Jedi this evening with our son and daughter-in-law.


  11. George Pollard

    Merry Christmas. I thank you for SJ, I learn a lot from it. As a non-lawyer, I don’t comment, for I have nothing to add. I guess I broke that here with this comment, which adds nothing but a thanks and best wishes.

  12. Gretz

    My non-Jewish family does movies and occasionally Chinese food on Dec 25th. The point of not being stuck in the kitchen for hours seems to have escaped them, this year, so I was drafted to *make* Broccoli Beef. I think it still counts, though, even if it is lacking the fortune cookies and the foam clamshell box.

    Merry Christmas, and thanks for SJ and your patience.

  13. Syme

    In the 1990’s, T R Reid of the NYTimes did ill-regular commentaries from Tokyo on NPR Morning Edition with Bob Edwards.

    Always interesting, one of the more engaging was him explaining how obsessed the Japanese were with eating KFC on Christmas Day, to the extent of having reservations months in advance.

    Alas, while I find references to the story, I can not now locate it in NPR’s archives.

  14. Nigel Declan

    Merry Christmas, Scott! I also saw Star Wars VIII: The Product of IV and II on Christmas Day. Maybe we can compare notes.

  15. Chris Ryan

    Merry Christmas to you and your family Scott. (and to everyone else that makes SJ the community it is).

    I had the joy of spending Christmas with good friends, when my 7 year old went behind his parents back to plan a Christmas Party, and he only informed us after he invited 3 families over and gave us a menu. Red Baron pizzas and Coca-Cola cake for Christmas dinner. Good friends made it fun.


  16. LocoYokel

    Merry Christmas to all, belated. We had our Chinese early 2 days before, and I got stuck in the kitchen cooking our traditional rib roast for Christmas. Just saw the Star Wars yesterday, we thought it was pretty good, but the porgs can go.

    1. SHG Post author

      So you didn’t eat Chinese food on Christmas, like a movie that was horrible and took two extra days to wish Merry Christmas. Okay then.

      Merry Christmas, LY. Did you really get stuck in the kitchen? You need a bigger kitchen.

      1. LocoYokel

        Ya, it’s a small kitchen and I’m not. Don’t get on as much to get my SJ fix when I’m not at work, and I am off til Jan 2.

        Guess I’ll get this done early then.

        Happy New Years all. May yours be blessed.

        1. SHG Post author

          Suck it in. Suck it up. Literally. I hope we’ll hear from you again before New Years, if you can squeeze through that kitchen.

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