Short Take: A Moron And His Gun Are Soon Parted

Apart from all other issues surrounding the possession of a handgun, few would argue that an FBI agent, a Fibber of all people, shouldn’t carry his piece. After all, the FBI are the good ones, the smart ones, the agents of law enforcement who stand above the riff-raff. Or not.

Cool backflip, even if one might suppose that he might have a greater concern about the gun in his waistband than his moves on the dance floor.

An FBI agent is under investigation after he accidentally discharged his firearm as he performed a backflip at a Denver nightclub.

The off-duty agent was dancing when the handgun fell from his waistband holster. It fired as he went to pick it up, wounding another customer in the leg.

Two things that to note is that the agent’s face is blurred and his name is concealed. Just as if it was anyone else with a gun doing a backflip at a distillery party, right?

The agent, whose identity wasn’t released, was dancing at the Mile High spirits distillery and tasting bar at around 12.45am on Saturday when the incident occurred, the spokesman added.

Police interviewed the agent before releasing him to an FBI supervisor. An investigation is continuing, and any charges will be determined by the Denver district attorney’s office, officer Marika Putnam said.

A Denver FBI spokeswoman declined to comment, citing an ongoing investigation.

Was the agent drunk? There stands to be a good chance of that. Was he reckless regardless? You bet. Was the bullet emitting from his gun into the body of an onlooker any different than if it had come from the gun of another person, whether a local cop or, god forbid, a non-cop? Nope. So what is there to “investigate”?

The reckless handling of a weapon is intolerable under any circumstances. As responsible gun owners explain over and over, there is no such thing as an accidental discharge. There is no excuse for anyone in possession of a gun to have an accident. It’s a dangerous thing, a gun, and part of the duty of bearing arms to assure that no accident occurs.

But when the moron is in law enforcement, the fault is heightened. It may be that a non-cop lacks sufficient training to appreciate the risk of certain conduct, or that he’s just too stupid to know how to breathe. The exercise of a constitutional right does not require passing an intelligence test. But there should be minimum, just as there are maximum, standards for intelligence for law enforcement.

And then there’s the FBI, the elite of law enforcement. The best educated. The smartest. The most honorable. Or so they tell us. And so we believe when it’s convenient for us to believe because we need to believe that there is some group in law enforcement that is out there investigating collusion and hate crimes.

Of all the people who should be expected to know better than to do something as stupid as get drunk with a gun stuck in the back of his pants, do a backflip with a gun stuck in the back of his pants, handle his gun after it’s flown through the air following his drunken backflip in a way that could possibly cause a bullet to discharge from the weapon when he touched it, it’s this Denver FBI agent.

And of all the things the FBI should do about it if it purports to be worthy of our trust and admiration, it’s name the agent too stupid to breathe and pull his weapon and shield.

26 thoughts on “Short Take: A Moron And His Gun Are Soon Parted

  1. wilbur

    Maybe the ultimate “Hey, hold my beer and watch this!”

    I file these under The Wonders of Alcohol. It’s a big file.

    1. SHG Post author

      Booze is a lousy friend. The policy is when you’re going to drink alcohol, you lock up your weapon. But what if it’s just a sip, no plan to get shitfaced. And the gun is on you, and there you are, doing backflips. He never meant any harm, and once his blotto, his judgment was, ahem, poor. Booze is fun until it isn’t. Like so many things in life.

        1. SHG Post author

          You know how your employer has a casual Friday policy? Do they fire the guy who comes in wearing a suit?

  2. JR

    Unless the policy has changed, an FBI agent is required to always have their weapon on them on them when off duty. A husband and wife both FBI agents got into a lot of trouble when they regularly attended a private swingers club. Since everything was coming off of them, so did the guns.

    DEA is same way, they are always armed. Even the pilot of a DEA plane when not on duty is armed. I’d almost expect this sort of mess up out of the DEA. They almost got kicked out of the training facilities at Quantico for being unprofessional cowboys and playing jokes on their FBI hosts.

    I’ve observed that some other groups have a different set of rules.

    Most LEOs that I know take gun safety as very important. You want to know the dos and don’ts of safely carrying a gun, go have a cop teach you. And then you have the FBI which gets much more real life weapons training and testing than your local or boys in blue.

    Kids now days.

    1. Frank

      YMMV. I’ve seen local law enforcement kicked off gun ranges for failing to follow safety rules and ignoring the directions of the FSO. And it was fortunate for the range owner that he was buddies with the Sheriff or Bad Things would have happened..

    2. Lex

      “Unless the policy has changed, an FBI agent is required to always have their weapon on them on them when off duty.“
      That’s not always possible. Myriad schools, standiums, and other private establishments discourage, if not prohibit, off-duty carry. Also problematic: if you’re going to the gym, beach, to nightclubs, etc. Leaving your firearm in your car, a locker, etc. is not appealing, let alone mandatory, and in many cases the best option is to not carry.

  3. Hunting Guy

    Robert Heinlein.

    “There are no dangerous weapons; there are only dangerous men.”

    Or in this case, he’s dangerous because he’s stupid. Come on, who picks up a gun by putting your finger in the trigger guard?

    Unknown Army sergeant.

    “Keep your booger hook off the bang switch until you’re ready to bring the heat.”

    And just an observation. The FBI needs to examine their holster requirements. If a pistol falls out while doing a back flip, it’ll fall out while you’re running after a bad guy.

    1. Lee Keller King

      Darn. I was hoping to comment on the real case of the accidental discharge, first. 🙁

      Ignoring for the moment the non-secure holster issue, there would have been no AD if the Fibbie had just kept his booger finger off the bang switch. Trigger discipline, people!

      And these are the people the gun banners want us to trust to be armed when the rest of us are disarmed.? Oy!

            1. Ross

              Captions of the day

              “Negligent discharge of the picking finger”

              “Don’t try this at home kids, I’m a professional!”

              “I hate it when I dig deep for that last one, and my finger slips”

  4. AM

    A Denver FBI Agent was conducting complex aerial maneuvers when an unexpected natural force caused his firearm to move in an unexpected manner. The firearm accidentally discharged, fortunately resulting in no fatalities. The FBI is investigating what charges might be sought against the firearm.

    1. REvers

      Close, but you forgot to slime the guy who got shot. That’s very important, you know.

      1. Steve Magas

        As long as drugs were planted…er… found on the so-called “victim” I don’t see a problem here… the agent was clearly engaged in the old “create a distrubance” tactic and took down a potentially violent criminal… one who is probably in the country illegally…

          1. M. Kase

            Perpetrator is believed to have stolen at least one (1) projectile from a Federal Agent’s service weapon.

  5. Matthew S Wideman

    I just cringed when he picked up the gun with his pointer finger. Just fucking stupid and dangerous. I did like how he did the “my bad” hands in the air like he got a flagrant foul. Guns and alcohol go together like teasing and school shootings.

  6. Karl Kolchak

    I’m a retired federal agent (not FBI) and I can tell you that it was drummed into our heads over and over that you do not carry while drinking–ever. The old saying went that there were three things that could get you in deep trouble as an agent–misuse of money, a car or a gun. This guy deserves to be fired if not prosecuted.

  7. Lex

    “The old saying went that there were three things that could get you in deep trouble as an agent–misuse of money, a car or a gun.“
    Abuse of creds is also a big, automatically suspend-able, no-no.

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