I learned yesterday of a resolution in the Tennessee House of Representatives that, if passed, would condemn CNN and the Washington Post as “fake news.”
Micah Van Huss, representative for an area with two main roads and one stoplight, penned this poorly-worded series of “Whereas” clauses. The two-page screed takes issue with references to those who support our current president as “cultists,” praises President Trump for taking on the establishment for the working man, and if passed, officially declares CNN and WaPo as “the media wing of the Democratic Party.”
It’s all a political stunt designed to garner favor with certain voters. Van Huss is up for reelection this year and faces a primary challenge, in addition to the November general election.
The resolution is, to be nice, completely fucking stupid. It’s yet another in a series of hokey bills filed in a legislative session that takes away from real issues facing constituents. From mandatory vasectomies to officially recognizing a state fruit, elected officials in just about every state pull shit like this every year. It’s a waste of taxpayer money and everyone knows it.
Because I’m an optimist and a visionary, I believe there’s a way to combat this asinine method of politicians behaving badly. It’s time to create a real registry that works* for the people: one pointing out stupid proposed laws and the people who push them.
This Shitty Fucking Laws Index, or SFL Index for short, will be a national database accessible to all with a mind for civics. It will be a tool for eliminating wasteful bickering over asinine issues and force politicians to address constituent needs.
Here’s how the Index works: if citizens think a politician’s proposed bill is stupid, they can link the text of the bill, along with the sponsor’s names and representative districts, to a submission form. The information will then go to an online searchable database. Users will be able to search the SFL Index and upvote or downvote a particular piece of legislation.
“Upvoting” means users think the bill is actually of use and could be something beneficial to the public. “Downvoting” signals contempt for the legislation and legislators behind it.
If a piece of legislation gets 10,000 upvotes the proposed law and legislator will be removed from the SFL Index. Ten Thousand Downvotes gets the law and its supporting officials a place on the Index’s “Hall of Stupid” for one calendar year.
Any legislator with five total proposed laws in the “Hall of Stupid” is placed into another list: the “Legion of Idiots.” Repeat offenders deserve extra shame for their reckless stupidity and callous disregard for those who voted them into office.
It is my belief that if we put a large enough spotlight on the amount of stupid laws our nation’s legislators try to push at the federal and state level, we can get career politicians to stop this kind of nonsense and focus on what their constituents actually want.
Who’s ready to really find out how much stupid shit goes through the halls of our state and federal capitols each year? Let’s get some of the tech companies on board and really disrupt something that needs it: career politicians and stupid laws.
*I would be remiss if I didn’t mention I can’t type a phrase like that with a straight face.