The following is an article from a British tabloid. I want you to soak in the headline. Bask in its glory. Then read the piece and come back here.
- This was from May of last year and none of you had the decency to send it to me when we really could’ve used the laugh? I’m ashamed of y’all.
- This was in the SPORTS section of the tabloid. Man, British people were hurting for sports news when the lockdowns hit, huh?
- Dude’s got at least a few people in Colombia who’d love to talk to him. Strictly business, you understand.
- I think the guy’s got a point. Fun size bars or not, sticking twelve Mars Bars up one’s ass is quite the feat.
- He uses the phrase “chocolate leakage.” I don’t think that means to him what it means to the rest of us.
- Are you surprised his spouse has a talent for sticking things in unusual orifices? Me neither.
- Who told this mental midget putting his name in the paper over something like this was a good idea? Or where he lived?
- We’ll never watch “Caddyshack” the same way again.
- Incidents like this give a whole new meaning to the term “fudge packing.”
- I can’t find a mention of the “International Anal Insertion Association” outside of this article and I’m not sure I want to.
- His wife’s got nothing to worry about as long as those Turkish Delights are standard size.
- If this much turmoil is being made over such an anal issue, I guess size really does matter.
- You’d hate to play doubles cornhole with this pair. It seems like they’ve got the market on experience.
- I’ll bet Mark cried when he set the world record, alright. Twice.
- Whether this actually happened at this point is irrelevant from the amount of laughs I’ve gotten over it in the last two days.
That’s all for this week, folks. Happy Friday, and remember: you might have had a bad week, but we’re not making fun of you for sticking twelve candy bars up your ass. And it making the news.
See you next week, everyone!