Trans women are women is a fine mantra, but it comes with some baggage. When the issue was perceived as who gets to use what bathroom, some of the baggage was shrugged off. After all, women’s bathrooms have stalls, and stalls have doors, and who cares anyway? Fair enough. But it was never about women’s bathrooms, which unsurprisingly eluded some people. That doesn’t make it righter or wronger, but more unclear, as a woman learned at Wi Spa in Los Angeles.*
A woman confronted the staff at the Wi Spa in Los Angeles after a man walked into the women's section with his genitals hanging out in front of girls. He identified as a "woman." The employees said he had a right to do that. The employees say that it's the law.
Part 1 pic.twitter.com/m1VbU0WU6A
— Ian Miles Cheong (@stillgray) June 27, 2021
To be fair, it wasn’t the spa’s choice, as it merely complied with California’s anti-discrimination law that prohibited discrimination against transgender people.
“He is a man,” the woman can be heard saying. “He is not a female. There are girls down there, other women who are highly offended by what they just saw and you did nothing. You sided with him.”
Wi Spa defended its policy in a statement to Los Angeles Magazine.
“Like many other metropolitan areas, Los Angeles contains a transgender population, some of whom enjoy visiting a spa,” the statement said. “Wi Spa strives to meet the needs of all its customers.”
And:
The spa defended its policy in a statement to Fox LA, saying that California law “prohibits discrimination against transgender and gender non-conforming people.”
“As a spa located in Los Angeles, Wi Spa complies with California law prohibiting discrimination by a business, including the Civil Code provision set forth above. Like many other metropolitan areas, Los Angeles contains a transgender population, some of whom enjoy visiting a spa,” the statement said.
Who is “transgender” may be a sticky subject, particularly when a person physically presents as a man but identifies as a woman. Some women will find this offensive. Some girls will find it traumatizing, as will their parents who do not want their children to be exposed to a penis and who do not want to expose themselves to a person with a penis.
Again, you may shrug at their concern or, if you’re more dedicated to the cause, express outrage at their discrimination against women with penises because it’s fine with you and so therefore must be acceptable to others. Or more bluntly, too bad for those who discriminate between women with vaginas and women with penises.
And again to be fair to the spa, their efforts to accommodate the transgender population is commendable provided their policy is understood by their cis patrons and they are aware that this “women only” spa may mean that they and their children may be exposed to penises.
But that was clearly not understood by the woman complaining, such that she could choose not to patronize the spa and risk potential exposure to penises if that was her choice. Then again, if California law forbids discriminating against people who identify as women but have a penis, there will be no spa where they can be assured that no patron’s penis will come into view.
And here’s the kicker to the situation. It was never just about bathrooms, and it isn’t about bathrooms and spas. Even in the initial guidance put out by the Departments of Education and Justice, the scope was bathrooms, locker rooms and sleeping accommodations. There have since been some goofy efforts, such as the transgender woman who demanded a Brazilian wax, which was not in the job description of the waxing person.
Whether trans women are women is an ideological choice, but penises are not vaginas. Perhaps the complaint is that we ought to get past genitalia and not make a big deal about being exposed to body parts we don’t possess. But that, too, is a separate issue from discrimination against transgender people. Would “get over it” be the same reaction if the person exposing his penis made no claim to being transgender, and he was just showing his man penis to young girls?
More to the point, we’ve yet to scratch the surface of where this is heading. After Congress enacted Title IX, a regulation made clear that schools “may provide separate toilet, locker room, and shower facilities on the basis of sex” without engaging in sex discrimination. This was not only not controversial, but any other reg would have been considered outrageous and absurd. Of course that wasn’t what Title IX meant. Then.
But then, the word “sex” was universally understood to mean the binary of male and female. Now that it has morphed into gender identity, a law enacted for one purpose has similarly morphed into a law prohibiting discrimination that it was never intended to prohibit, and would never have been enacted had it been realized at the time that by redefining a key word, “sex,” the law would take on an entirely different meaning.
The point isn’t to take a side in the “trans women are women” debate, but rather to note that the ramifications have never been made clear and transparent. By focusing the debate on bathrooms, consideration has largely gotten caught up in the nuts and bolts of toilet stalls and urinals rather than the far broader issues of how this will effect societal change and create social conflicts that nobody considered.
My imagination is inadequately fertile to anticipate all potential issues arising from the prohibition against transgender discrimination, though I had suggested one potential problem back in 2016.
So, if we accept that gender identity discrimination is sex discrimination, and that it applies to all entities subject to Titles VII and IX, consider this hypothetical:
Joe meets Lola, and they take a shine to each other. Joe asks Lola on a date, and Lola affirmatively consents. Joe goes back to his dorm, and is subtly informed by his roommate, Enrique, that Lola is quite the excellent sweeper on the college’s men’s curling team.
Joe is confused. He’s a bit slow. So Joe texts Lola and asks, “Lola, are you on the men’s curling team?” Lola responds, “you bet I am. Can’t wait to see you tonight, dreamboat.” Joe, never one to miss a trick, replies, “I didn’t know you were a dude. Sorry, but I’m not into that sort of thing.”
Lola is crushed. Joe was so adorable. Lola is now hurt, angry and offended that Joe refused to go on the date solely because Lola was a biological male who identified as a woman. There was no other reason for Joe’s cancelling the date. That’s sex discrimination.
This will assuredly not be the only issue that could potentially arise, and there are likely a great many more banal problems, such as what happened at Wi Spa to women who did not accept the premise that their “women’s only” privacy would include children’s exposure to male genitalia. I get it, You think they’re wrong, stupid, discriminatory and their feelings about such exposure are unworthy of recognition. Why their sensibilities don’t matter while others’ sensibilities must be respected no matter what is where this dives down the irrational rabbit hole of ideology.**
*Some will reacts poorly because the video was posted by Ian Miles Cheong, but your feelings toward Cheong have nothing to do with the content of the video, which speaks for itself.
**Unsurprisingly, the next day protesters showed up. Anti-trans religious protesters were met by black-clad (but are they Antifa?) counter-protesters who demonstrated their cause of tolerance in their own curiously selective way.
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John B. Finch.
“Your right to swing your arm leaves off where my right not to have my nose struck begins”
I can’t even with that picture. How dare she appropriate Black culture by wearing dreads and that hat. We need to contact her employer and landlord to have her fired and evicted for this hate crime.
I feel you.

Tense Day At a Spa, sounds like the title of a soft porn novel…
I am proud of you for resisting the temptation to go with hard though…
It’s about time the nation took the “sex” out of the spa experience anyway…
Isn’t it?
I went and read some of the “science’ that supports the trans cause, and they talk about there being an entire spectrum of genders/sexes/whatevers, based on looking at chromosomes and all the various chemicals produced in living cells in all sorts of creatures. There is no simple test like looking at penises and vaginas
So, since there is no definitive “scientific” definition of what constitutes “M” or “F”, and no legal definition, either, I believe, all those statistics purporting to demonstrate disparate impact based on sex become suspect and unreliable, since they have no data on where anyone fits on the sex/gender spectrum and therefore what bin they fit into. It is like Brazilian racial characterization, which is mindboggling.
A few years ago, I was getting regular solicitations from an online dating service called “Silver Singles.” Perusing their terms of use (which, I would guess, most people don’t), I noted that they included a prohibition on discriminating against anyone for ethnic, sexual orientation, or gender-based reasons. Users of that service are essentially agreeing to date [Ed. Notes] on the same terms as anyone else. At the time, the federal government was still positing that accessing any web service contrary to its terms of service was a federal crime. The folks pushing these hat-ona-pole laws are all in with the effort. The goal is to force all people to behave as though they believe gender is subjectively determined. Ramifications don’t matter to this crowd, because they have decided their view is the “truth,” and accordingly, people must be forced to conform, no matter what.
Boy oh boy. I’m sure glad Justice Gorsuch’s majority opinion in Bostock v. Clayton County cleared up all these thorny issues and nuances you have so clearly exposed.
In the scheme of really poorly written decisions, Bostock wins a prize. Then again, they took a pass on Grimm where they could have cleaned up the mess Gorsuch made.
I thought flashing was a crime.
Only if you’re a heterosexual male because it’s sexual assault making survivors see your penis. If you’re any of the LGBQT alphabet soup, not allowing you to walk around with your genitals exposed is oppression and discrimination.
Thank you for explaining that. I’m an old man and I keep forgetting what today’s truths are. I keep flashing back to my boyhood when my mother told me to keep my pants zipped.
I missed this yesterday. I think this is a problem of decorum and is of a piece with the increasing prevelance of kink scenes at pride parades. The issue is that this violates the classic kink tenets of safe, sane and consensual. Traditional kinksters frown on public scenes because bystanders become involuntary and nonconsensual participants in that scene, be it a sub wearing nothing but a leather jockstrap getting flogged in the middle of main street or a barely passing transwoman demanding a Brazilian wax of “her” obviously male genitalia. The LA spa situation
seems like the same thing,
In my experience trans people try to keep a low profile and live their lives rather than make a public spectacle. Thus I see the LA spa situation as a nonconsensual kink scene rather than an assertion of trans rights and both unethical and tactically stupid since it feeds into anti-trans stereotypes and upsets the people who should be on side.
Given my unfamiliarity with the “kink scene,” I will defer to your superior knowledge.
spas in the Netherlands are coed. it’s paradise!
Have a good trip.
I’m anticipating a case to come up where someone who identifies as transgender is accused of sexual assault when they have passed themself off as one gender to someone who is not aware and not ok with intimate activities with someone of the other gender.
Since sexual assault does not necessarily require intercourse, there’s a range of activities someone might participate in, but would not if they were aware of their partner’s birth gender.
I don’t expect this to be a rampant problem. However, if a case moves forward with the basis of “I agreed to this behavior, but I agreed based on the belief the other person was a man/woman” (informed consent) then the courts might have to decide whether the aggrieved person was deceived. The result being a ruling whether someone claiming “I am a woman” but was born with and still has a penis, is lying.