From Millennials to Zoomers, the telephone is hated. There are, of course, the usual reasons, that too many calls are spam or robo crap, which can be weeded out by only answering calls when the Caller ID tells you it’s someone you know. But much as there are some collateral excuses, the fact remains that they hate talking on the phone. Given that my generation might share their annoyance of calls, but feels no dread and loathing at the thought of speaking directly to another human being, I wondered why.
So I asked.
I do not understand why Zoomers absolutely hate phone calls. It's damn near pathologic.
Is it just too traumatic to talk to another person? Why do you hate phone calls?
— Scott Greenfield (@ScottGreenfield) April 7, 2022
Many of the replies and quote twits were off-topic rationalizations, the sort of common argumentation used by young people on twitter to deflect responsibility by ignoring the question and pointing at a non sequitur. But some responses were quite interesting and revealing.
They come when your mind is occupied with another matter. And people tend to “forget” obligations they assume verbally.
It seems rude to demand to speak with someone instantly
Personally, I communicate more precisely & quickly via text. Also, because old people who default to phone calls *tend* to be annoying generally, it’s a lot of energy masking my annoyance on a phone call. It’s also a lot of energy “performing” for a phone call.
Do you like talking to strangers you can’t see?
Sometimes a phone call is sitting and waiting on hold or with machines or going through phone menus. Getting a phone call is “drop everything now.” You have a nice leisurely life where you’re not always in the middle of something? I like scheduled calls.
Talking on the phone takes too much time. Just tell me what you fucking want.
Phone calls don’t show you who you’re talking to, and don’t give you the chance to think through your reply. The lack of visual connection leads to people being absolutely horrible on calls, and they still expect immediate replies and answers which may take time to research
Many people are not able to state their problems concisely , and want me to drop everything to hear them work through it
Because actual human interaction is painful
Not a Zoomer but if it can’t be resolved by text message then it’s not worth resolving
I’m GenX, but the last thing I want to do is listen to some extrovert babble on and on for an hour, draining my will to live. I avoid phone calls like the plague (unless it’s a close relative).
Phone calls are actually very very weird. You’re “having a conversation” but omitting all forms of non-verbal cues we’ve used sinc, including facial expressions.
Phone calls are the worst form of communication. You lose the ability to give and read body language that in-person/video provides, *and* the ability to really think your responses through that text provides. It’s live and blind, and therefore the worst of both worlds.
CAUSE NO ONE CARES HOW YOUR DAY’S GOING OR WHAT YOU DID WITH THE FAMILY THIS WEEKEND, JUST EMAIL ME THE F***ING SPREADSHEET SO I CAN GET ON WITH MY LIFE
Necessarily lacks an aspect to express yourself. Even text has emojis for finer and broad strokes. Some people aren’t particularly emotive with just voice.
And finally, the most perfect Zoomer response to the question:
lol phone calls suck tho frfr
While most seem to focus on an outlier to ignore the core question about their own anxiety and awkwardness, the responses were surprising as a reflection of so much about people’s mindset. What are the takeaways here?
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“Peopleware”, by Timothy Lister and Tom DeMarco, is a book about software development and how best to facilitate it. They discuss at length how telephones disrupt “flow”, the state programmers get in in which they’re highly productive. They also provide strategies for dealing with phones to reduce their intrusiveness.
The number of autistics has risen from previous generations, and while I have no idea how much of a driver this is, it does make me wonder if the general aversion to social interaction isn’t wearing off more broadly.
Phone calls are the perfect medium for:
Something you don’t want a record of
Something that has a complex chain of questions and answers.
Everything else is better in email or equivalent.
Especially for a tax pro Jan to Apr
Non business phone calls are a matter of personal preference on a case by case basis.
I’m not one of the chosen, but how about Blondie with Hanging on the Telephone.
One way or another.
Whether speaking to a relative, friend or even customer service rep on the phone, you get the oppprtunity to actually engage. You hear the laugh, the sigh, or the cry, and not only get the chance to respond but even more importantly,to experience your own individual reaction to that person’s thoughts or feelings on a much more personal level that you would from a text, or even a Zoom. There’s an “acting” reflex, I believe, in Zoom contact, ( people just behave differently when in camera – they just do!), and a “coldness”, in my opinion, that can occur in text.
It’s one thing to text or Zoom about a lunch meeting, or what have you, but quite a different experience to be had when discussing more personal matters.
texting is sooo much better…
Boomer here. I hate Duo, Zoom and the old fashion video conference call. I actually have to “look” like I’m interested or paying attention. With a phone call, I can continue to scratch myself.
GenX here, these 2
Because actual human interaction is painful, and
The last thing I want to do is listen to some extrovert babble on and on for an hour, draining my will to live. I avoid phone calls like the plague (even if it’s a close relative, my sister drives me insane when she calls).
And we’re not even going to go into zoom or video chat.
and this
Phone calls are the perfect medium for:
Something that has a complex chain of questions and answers, and only for this.
Yes, I place on the autism spectrum.
I write enterprise software for a living. Our customers are large multi-nationals, banks, major insurance companies, people like that. They pay big bucks, and are very intolerant of things going awry.
Bitter experience tells me that if I get an email from a customer support person, I should skim it, then call them directly and ask questions. Most people are completely shite at encapsulating anything complex in an email.
If that is unenlightening, I insist that we talk to the customer, sometimes hoping against hope, that we get to talk to the right people to accurately tell me what is actually going wrong.
Engaging verbally via a call is, IMHO, hugely more efficient at getting things done than any other means.
Aside from that, the callee now knows that another person takes them (and their issue) seriously and is personally invested in the (hopefully sucessful) outcome.
At worst, it’s good PR, at best, it’s evidence that they and their issue are taken very seriously, not something that goes on a pile and eventually gets a big enough problem (and distraction) to be given attention.
And yeah, I’m a Boomer, who thinks that talking to another person, understanding what they want me to know, is a basic matter of courtesy, nevermind the other useful things. Also, it has kept me gainfully employed as I slide into my seventh decade.
Am in the camp that talks to no one if I do not recognize the # or contact. So many scam calls and uninvited texts, they drive me nuts.!?!
Am becoming a recluse/ hermit. Don’t want to talk to or communicate with anyone or any agency. It’s so bloody painful. Try calling the VA for example. You want to end your life ASAP. If I want to deal with some person or agency, I now just drop in unannouced without forewarning or calling.
It’s expensive and time-consuming, but works better for me than any phony-baloney electronic pseudo conversations, including telephone. Here I am, let’s deal with this mano-a-mano. If you’re too busy, let’s make an appointment?
Finally, there’s snail mail, which is usually reliable. We luv good ol’ US Postal Service. For real, Tonto. Thanks for posting this timely piece.