When New Haven honors student Michael Sheridan needed a fix, he never thought he’d be caught and suspended.  Nobody ever does.  So what was this 8th grader trying to get his hands on?  Skittles.  No, that’s not some new name for a dangerous narcotic mixed in bathtubs.  I mean skittles, the candy.  That’s right.

According to this AP report, courtesy of Overlawyered, poor Michael’s sweet tooth put him right between the cross-hairs of  those who demand that our schools micromanage every nuance of our children’s lives (since there is no aspect that can be trusted to parents anymore), including what goes into their stomachs.

The most recent reauthorization was in 2004 and added a new piece: Any school using federal money to provide food on campus (such as lunch) was required to create and implement a “wellness policy” no later than fall 2006. It’s been driven at least in part by concerns about childhood obesity; the National Center for Health Statistics reports that in 2003-04, 19 percent of children ages 6-11 and 17 percent of adolescents ages 12-19 were considered overweight or obese.

It’s intention was good, but did they really want to criminalize skittles?  Will there be a schedule coming out with the varying degrees of punishment for “dangerous candy?”

The New Haven school system banned candy sales in 2003 as part of a districtwide school wellness policy, school spokeswoman Catherine Sullivan-DeCarlo said.

There is a vast difference between a school encouraging good eating habits to combat obesity and criminalizing candy.  Teach, encourage, control what you serve in your cafeteria, all appropriate ways to address the problem.  But call out the swat team to take down a nefarious hallway candy buyer?  A little overkill, perhaps?

Notably, this is yet another example of the failure of prohibition.  Make candy illegal, and only criminals will sell candy.  Yes, even on this level it happens. 

As for young Mr. Sheridan, the school relented, recognized the abject stupidity of its actions. 

I am sorry this has happened,” [Principal] Turner said in a statement. “My hope is that we can get back to the normal school routine, especially since we are in the middle of taking the Connecticut mastery test.”

Mastery of what?  You mean they have to teach that too in Connecticut?