Every few days lately, there’s been  an announcement by a particular law firm of their acquisition of a new partner.  This would be nothing notable, but for one small detail.  The firm is Bracewell & Giuliani.  That’s right, the same Rudy who loves women too much and thought that a few decent speeches after 9/11 would make everybody forget what how hated he was as United States Attorney in the Southern District of New York.

With Rudy off the campaign trail, he naturally needs to make tons of money by capitalizing on his name and fame.  Within minutes after stepping down as Mayor of New York, he opened a string of businesses, one of which was his law firm.  The Giuliani Taco Suprema biz hasn’t fared nearly as well.

Bracewell & Giuliani have been buying up lawyers right and left lately, and some of the names are familiar.  So I wondered, has Rudy turned over a new leaf?  Has the Angel of Death become the savior of the Constitution?  This could really spoil his chances of world hegemony, but he could drown his sorrow in some significant partner profits.  And so I took a spin around the  B&G website to see how my competition was doing.

Imagine my surprise to find that B&G is indeed in the criminal defense business.  White collar, natch.

In the past several years, this country has witnessed a dramatic increase in the investigation and prosecution of business institutions and their executives and employees. Federal and state prosecutors and regulators, armed with new statutes and increased penalties, have placed institutions and individuals under great scrutiny in virtually every industry from Wall Street to Main Street.

Well, Rudy would sure know about that!  Why he didn’t take personal credit is beyond me.

The lawyers in Bracewell & Giuliani’s White Collar Criminal Defense practice possess the skill and experience critical to defend a client in the face of a criminal, quasi-criminal or regulatory investigation or prosecution conducted by the Department of Justice, a U.S. Attorney’s Office, the Securities and Exchange Commission, or a state District Attorney or Attorney General.

Really?  Why tell me, Rudy, how that “skill and experience critical to defend a client” was obtained.

Prior to making their mark in the defense bar, many of our lawyers served in leadership positions at the Department of Justice, the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York, the SEC, and the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission.  They offer an insider’s view of how best to defend a case.  We have found that a lawyer who is prepared to put prosecutors and regulators to their proof can often achieve a superior result for the client.  For that reason, every member of the White Collar Criminal Defense section is a seasoned trial lawyer.

That’s right.  Every member is a “seasoned trial lawyer.”  Not “seasoned defense lawyer.”  Nope.  Very artfully said.  After all, they offer an “insider’s view of how best to defend a case.”  What do you suppose they are suggesting?  Not about them, but about the rest of us.

Some might be inclined to spurn Rudy’s rhetoric, perhaps even falling back on his failures, overreaching and the massive harm he did to the innocent while pursuing his quest for world domination.  Not me.  Frankly, I admire the fact that Rudy is just as willing to put self-interest above all else now as he was while cashing the public pay check.  This man is a rock, consistent to the end.

Bracewell & Giuliani LLP is a prominent international law firm with more than 400 lawyers in Texas, New York, Washington, DC, Connecticut, Dubai, Kazakhstan and London.

If you’re interested, I hear they’re looking for some new blood in the Kazakhstan office.  Any former Soviet prosecutors interested?