I swear I get a lot of mail as a result of this blawg, but most of it is relatively boring and unworthy of the, ta da, reader mailbag.  But a couple are fun, and so here it goes.

Greenfield,

Your post was boring.  That’s two minutes of my life I’ll never get back.  Why would you bother to put something so bad up on your blog.  Were you too busy to bother?  Was it too much work to show your readers the respect of writing something worth the time to read?

If you don’t care enough to do a decent job, then don’t bother to publish it.

So you didn’t like a post, eh?  Bummer.  You want your money back?  I agree with you that not everything I write is Pulitzer Prize material.  But then, it’s not like anybody made you read it either, true?

So here’s the deal, if I post something the bores you, immediately stop reading and move on to the next post.  I guarantee that it will be thrilling.  It will make chills go up and down your spine.  And even if it doesn’t, what do you want from me? 

I write what I write.  Some subjects come out of the blue, and aren’t for everybody.  It’s possible that the only person interested is me.  That can happen.  But that’s why I write (and why SJ is here so you can come and complain), so you’re just going to have to suffer and bear with me.  By the way, if you think I have bad days, go read Bennett (Only kidding, Mark).

Greenfield,

You say that you want people to post their comments, but then you tell them they’re stupid when they do.  You’re a hypocrite and a lying sack of sh*t lawyer.  Hey, that’s redundant, isn’t it?

Well, you got me on that one.  No, not the childish vulgar potty humor (I’ve heard better), but that I say I want comments and then delete the stupid ones.  Here’s the problem:  When you write a comment that goes:

Lawyers are vultures.  They lie, cheat and steal.  They should all die.

It isn’t really helpful.  It says one thing, you hate lawyers, without any reason.  What’s to discuss, no lawyers aren’t vultures (and how could you insult vultures that way)?

It also doesn’t help to be the 7th person to say, I have a bad experiene because

I lost my case when my lawyer blew it, just because I drove my car into that person.  I was late and had to put my make-up on.  It wasn’t my fault!  So all lawyers are lying, cheating liar cheaters!

Does the fact that you were wrong in the first place extrapolate into all lawyers being evil?  Or perhaps it says that you, individually, have issues?  I think the latter, but this isn’t psychotherapy, so I really can’t help you here.  I hope that explains why I do it, and yes, comments should be limited to ones that are thoughtful, civil and reasoned.  You’re welcome to vent, but just not here.

Dear Lawyerpreneur and Friend,

 

     I want to share an unsolicited fax I received.  It read in part:

 

     “I was at a point in my practice when I was looking for a marketing guru to help me get to the next level of my law practice.  Nader Anise is that guy.  I found his ideas both innovative and practical.  Even though he is in great demand, he made himself accessible, answering my questions when I needed to communicate with him… I would highly recommend Nader to any attorney looking to take his practice to the next level.”  Peter Gemborys, Esq., Wilminton, NC

 

     Why am I sharing this with you?  Because the issue of “getting to the next level” is one of the most asked about topics in my business. 

 

     Well, guess what?  I have the answer and it may surprise you.

 

     EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, I am going to do something that will excite many lawyers, intrigue quite a few… and… shock a handful (those who know me best).

 

     But, particularly, it will thrill those lawyers who are looking to get to the next level in their law practice.

 

An Exciting New Development…

 

     I am opening up two (and ONLY two) new slots in my super-successful coaching program, The Elite Earners.

 

     Believe me, being a part of Elite Earners is life-changing… and career changing.  It is sort of my “secret society” of lawyer superstars.  I am very protective of the lawyers in this group and shield the identity of each member at all costs.  I also keep the discussions, coaching calls and brainstorm sessions strictly confidential.  The less I talk about the program the better.  Although I have several big-name celebrity lawyers as members, you’d never know it.  They like it that way and frankly so do I.  Much less hassle.

 

     So, anyway, after continued pressure from many of my Lawyerpreneur subscribers, I have decided to add two additional slots for the Elite Earners Coaching Program.  Because I’ve cut down on my speaking engagements, I think I can swing another coaching client.

 

     Obviously, I want these slots to go to the most ambitious, motivated, goal-oriented, hard working lawyers out there.  The slots will be filled on a first-come, first-served basis… HOWEVER, I must personally approve your application first before you’re accepted.  Your success is as much an ego and pride thing to me as it is to you.  I want to make sure whomever I accept into the program is dead-serious about making big money in their practice.

 

     DETAILS:  WHAT IS THE COACHING PLAN ALL ABOUT?  Once a month (for exactly one hour), you and I will meet on the phone and conduct a coaching call.  I’ll listen to your ideas, your questions, your frustrations… and… your greatest challenges.  I’ll give you BETTER ideas, answers to your questions, specific strategies, resources, contacts, plans, and pretty much help you become wealthy as a lawyer.  That’s really the objective of this coaching program.  That’s why I call it, “Elite Earners.”  You will be part of a group of elite lawyers… and… you will be one of the top legal earners in the country.

 

     Frankly, there are certain strategies and secret marketing “formulas” that are reserved only for my Elite Earners.  I certainly don’t make all my secrets available publicly.  But my Elite Earners get it all – uncensored, unabridged and without holding anything back.

 

     One idea from me can result in tens of thousands – hundreds of thousands – of additional revenue per year.  It’s not unusual for that to happen.  In fact, it’s a frequent occurrence.

 

     Samuel Bearman, an attorney in Pensacola, Florida, credits me with helping him achieve extraordinary marketing success.  One time he and I spoke on the phone for only 12 minutes.  The result?  Over $437,000 in additional revenue.  Just from a 12 minute conversation.

 

     But that’s chump change compared to a settlement he reached thanks to some targeted marketing strategies I armed him with.  He sent me an email gushing how my advice…

 

     “… resulted in a settlement of $100,000,000 (one hundred million dollars) and I am now representing clients in another case that we believe may involve many millions of dollars.”  Samuel Bearman, Esq., Pensacola, FL

 

     It might sound hard to believe, but it’s true.  If you’d like to “read up” on me, take a look at the interview I did with Helena Bachmann.  It’s at:  www.NaderAnise.com/Bachmann.  But make sure you come to this page after you read the interview.

 

     In addition to the monthly coaching call, you will have access to me via fax and email on an unlimited basis (of course within reason).  I give my Elite Earners high priority when it comes to answering their questions.  Plus, you’ll receive insider invitations to programs that no one else gets.

 

     BUT I MUST WARN YOU:  If you miss your monthly coaching call due to something that is NOT an emergency, you will have lost your coaching call slot for that month.  These slots are extremely hard to come by.

 

     I’m not about to sell you on the benefits of having me as your marketing coaching.  Either you see it or you don’t.  But let me say this… my normal 1-hour consulting fee alone is $3,000.  If all you do is just speak with me for only half an hour a month for year, the fee is $18,000.  Add the unlimited fax and email coaching… and you’re at $25,000 per year. 

 

     But my Elite Earners members get a much better deal.

 

     Now who SHOULDN’T apply for the slot?  Listen.  I don’t mean to sound like a jerk.  But I have to be completely up front with you.

 

     From experience I usually KNOW who succeeds in this program and who doesn’t.  Even worse, I hate when people waste my time – even if they’re paying me big sums of money.  My ultimate goal is for you to be successful.  Once that happens, we both make a lot of money.

 

     So, here are the types of lawyers who shouldn’t apply. 

 

     DO NOT APPLY IF: 

 

1.  DO NOT APPLY IF paying the coaching fee will make you broke or close to it.

 

2.  DO NOT APPLY IF you’re not 100% committed to building a cash-cow of a law practice and becoming wealthy in the very near future.

 

3. DO NOT APPLY IF you’re difficult to work with or are unwilling or unable to take direction from me.

 

4.  DO NOT APPLY IF all you want is a sounding-board for your ideas… and WON’T eagerly implement the ideas I give you.

 

5.  DO NOT APPLY IF you have to ask every lawyer you know… every listserv member you have… your husband, your wife, your kids, your dog, if you should do this.  Seriously.  The most successful lawyers are the independent, quick decision makers.

 

6.  DO NOT APPLY IF you have NEVER ordered any of my products or attended any of my seminars.

 

7.  DO NOT APPLY IF you think you know more about marketing than me.  Believe me, we won’t get very far.

 

8.  DO NOT APPLY IF you are a law firm with more than two decision-makers regarding marketing.  I don’t believe in decision making “by committee.”  One or two decision makers – max.

 

9.  DO NOT APPLY IF you expect ME to do all the marketing and work for you.  This is a COACHING program.  That means you do the marketing work and I coach you.  I give you advice and ideas; warn you of potential pitfalls; and encourage you when needed.  I also give you access to many of my contacts.  I DO NOT do the marketing work for you.

 

10.  DO NOT APPLY IF you lack the burning, unquenchable desire to outearn, outperform and outlawyer every single attorney you know.  You MUST have that killer instinct.

 

     FEE:  For the year it’s $9,600.  If you’re getting chest palpations, this program is not for you.  But if you realize that $9,600 is a drop in the bucket compared to what I can do for you – AND you have the money – keep reading…

 

     To make sure you’re fully committed for the year, this fee must be pre-paid.  If you’re accepted, the only concession I’ll make is I’ll accept $4,800 now (by credit card or check) and another $4,800 in six months.  I’ll do this ONLY if I’m fully convinced that we’re on the same page and you’re on board with this 100%.

 

     But remember, I am only opening up two slots.  No more.  I’ll bet the ranch I’ll get many more than two applicants with a credit card in hand (did you know there are approximately 700,000 solos and small law firms in the U.S.?), so jump on this ON THE DOUBLE, if you want to be an Elite Earner.

 

     Attorney John Lauro (FL and NY licensed), one of the few Superstar lawyers who is willing to talk says this:

 

 

     “Last year, I took a bold step and asked Nader to become a mentor and a coach as part of the Elite Earners Program.  It cost a lot of money, but so does everything of true value – including each and every one of us.  It was worth every cent.  If truth be told, given what I have received, I would have paid more… Since teaming up with Nader, my income has grown more than any other time in my life; but just as important, I have increased the visibility of my firm, enhanced my professional relationships, and developed a better quality practice.   Nader has taught me how building a practice can be one of the most rewarding aspects of being a lawyer.”  John Lauro, Esq., FL and NY (Represented NBA referee, Tim Donaghy)

 

     HERE’S WHAT TO DO NOW:  I am going to respond to applications on a first come, first served basis.  So, that means… if you’re interested in applying, do so IMMEDIATELY.  (By the way, only apply if you can actually pay the fee.  Please don’t ask for any discounts or any other payment plans.)

 

     JUST SEND ME AN EMAIL (just click reply to the above email address) and respond to the following information:

Get lost, you flake.