When Turley posted about some local Ford dealer’s  radio commercial directed to the “84%” of true believers in a Christian nation, it was worth a few chuckles.  After all, most people assume that they represent the norm, and there’s no reason to expect some wacky Ford dealer to be different.

But then comes the pathetic retraction, after the dealership, Kieffe, after it turns out that they may have offended slightly more than the 14% of heathens out there.  The claim is that while they reviewed the advertisement, they didn’t “closely review” it.  Well, that’s that, right?

Wrongo.  It seems that while Kieffe et fils may recognize that its franchise was on the line, the fellow who writes their advertising is less concerned about commerce than his client.  According to J.W. Horne, proclaimed author of the radio spot (note that I’ve broken up his statement into paragraphs because it was just too painful to read otherwise):

For those of you out there in never land or la la land or maybe underground and under the radar who are so called non believers, I am the man who wrote and recorded the Kieffe and sons spot. In fact I write and produce all of the Kieffe and Sons ford spots. I have had the pleasure of serving the advertising for the dealership for many years. I am a believer and I am pretty sure that most everyone at Kieffe and Sons ford are also believers. I wrote and produced the spot that so many of you “unbelievers” find offensive.

Frankly I don’t give a flip whether you are an athiest or just plain doubter. I wrote and recorded the truth. There is a great silent majority of Americans that are believers. The difference between them and you is this. Believers do not have to justify their existence. The only ones in this country that respond to an honest ad are the ones who seem to despise honesty. The truth is this. This country was founded on the belief in God. All you have to do is read the constitution and see for yourself. Now does that mean that everyone here must believe? NO absolutely not. The great thing about the constitution is that it allows for each American citizen to believe as the wish and speak and do what they want so long as it is within the law. I support that. I support everyones right to think and do and live as they wish. I do not condem any American that disagrees with me. You all can stand up and shout, burn flags, gather on a corner and cuss the government, males can marry males, females can marry females you can all buy one of those imports and send the money to Japan if you want, but you do not have the right to force your philosophy on to others.

I think that it is time for you to understand this very simple little fact. You are in the minority and as loud as you yell and protest, you will always be in the minority. If you don’t like the radio spot then don’t listen to it, but if you were careful enough to listen to the entire spot you would have heard me say that to the good people at Kieffe and Sons ford “everyone one is welcome at the dealership whether you are a believer or not, you are still welcome. You would also have heard me say that you may get God taken out of the class room and the pledge and even off our money, but you will not get God out of this dealership. We do business according to the rules of the good book.. if you are offended by that, then you are offended by the truth. So each of you who find some offense to the radio ad and you want to be up in arms over it, you have the right to think what you wish but you do not have the right to take my copyrighted material and destort it for your personal gain. If you are offended, well like I said in the commercial.. thats tough.

You da man. Horney.  But I’m not exactly clear where you come up with the statement that the “great silent majority of Americans” are “believers”. 

Here’s my problem.  Like you, J.Dubya, I ascribed believerhood based upon what type of car people drive.  It’s not that people who drive Toyotas (or, God forbid, Saabs!) think to themselves, “well there’s a blow to the church,” but you and me both get it; Drive a foreign and you might as well kiss the devil (who, by the way, is a man, making it a double sin, if not more).

But, J.Dubya, everyone with half a brain (and you certainly qualify) knows that American vehicles aren’t doing too well.  Heck, Ford just announced that it can’t sell its pickups anymore, no doubt the product of some Arab plot to shift jobs to Mexico where all those illegals are coming over the border to kill believers.  So if Americans are busy buying up Datsuns, and Ford’s dying a slow and painful death, the silent majority may have gone over to the side of Beelzebub.  That silent majority may not be too majority anymore.  I know, makes your eyes tear, don’t it?

Now I’m not telling you not to keep the faith, Brother J. Dubya, and use the skills that God gave you to advertise your American heart out in the na,e of believers everywhere, whenever possible, no matter how many people think you’re totally insane.  But if you end up being driven out of business because you offended every SUV loving soccer mom in Mojave, well…that’s tough.