The Birth of a New Niche, Hired-Gun Prosecutor?

For those who follow the doings of the Sovereign Nation of Texas, this news has already been broadcast by Houston criminal defense lawyer Mark Bennett.  But for the rest of America, this may come as bit of a surprise.  It seems that Kelly Siegler, a former prosecutor with the Harris County District Attorneys office, has decided that her prosecutorial gifts are bigger than Houston and she must make them available to the world.

No!  I’m serious.  This is no joke.

At a blog called Women in Crime Ink, Siegler identifies herself as “prosecutor for hire.”  Her marketing strategy is to play upon the belief that crime is rampant and criminals are walking free because the run-of-the-mill prosecutors are incompetent cowards, afraid to take on any case that isn’t a slam-dunk.  She includes a picture of Nancy Grace in her post, though never explains whether it’s because she loves her or hates her. 

So here’s the “problem” with criminal law, according to Siegler:

The real problem is that far too many prosecutors are worried about taking on a d ifficult case, a case that is not a slam-dunk or a whale (“as easy as harpooning a whale in a barrel,” as we say in Harris County, Texas). Too many prosecutors demand that the cases presented to them for the filing of charges come to them with all the questions answered and wrapped in a pretty, little bow.

So why is this “chicken” attitude such an unknown problem? Simple. Primarily because prosecutors don’t usually talk about it. And those same righteously upset cops don’t typically tattle about it; they just try to figure out a way to work around the problem. So instead of officers being able to go to a prosecutor to seek advice on an investigation, what happens more often than you would ever expect is that the officers find the prosecutors they are forced to deal with to be an obstacle in their investigations.

And that is a tragedy.

This is for real.  I swear.  It’s not that there are too many crimes, too many innocent people going to prison, or too many cops and prosecutors playing fast and loose with the Constitution.  No, no, no.  Just the opposite, with lilly-livered prosecutors letting killers roam the streets rather than life a finger to take them on.  I bet you didn’t know that before, and really appreciate Kelly spilling the prosecutorial beans.

The typical path for an ex-prosecutor is to become a defense attorney and try to convince defendants that you will use your old connections to finagle a sweet deal for them, a scam that many defendant will buy because they believe that law is all about backroom deals to begin with.  But for some, the idea of defending criminals is just so disgusting, so horrific that they would never live with themselves.  What then?


KELLY SIEGLER      “She’s finger lickin’ good!”

So from now on, when you’re unhappy with the kid prosecutor that’s been assigned to your case, or when the ADA tells you that there’s not enough evidence, you don’t have to take it anymore.  Just gather up your pennies and call Kelly Siegler, Prosecutor-for-Hire.  She’s no gutless wonder, like the rest of the people she used to work with and now smears for a little cash up front.  I wonder if she guarantees a conviction?

Only in Texas.