“HAZEL PARK, MI—In a statement made to reporters earlier this afternoon, local idiot Brandon Mylenek, 26, announced that at approximately 2:30 a.m. tonight, he plans to post an idiotic comment beneath a video on an Internet website.

“Later this evening, I intend to watch the video in question, click the ‘reply’ link above the box reserved for user comments, and draft a response, being careful to put as little thought into it as possible, while making sure to use all capital letters and incorrect punctuation,” Mylenek said. “Although I do not yet know exactly what my comment will entail, I can say with a great degree of certainty that it will be incredibly stupid.”

Mylenek, who rarely in his life has been capable of formulating an idea or opinion worth the amount of oxygen required to express it, went on to guarantee that the text of his comment would be misspelled to the point of incomprehension, that it would defy the laws of both logic and grammar, and that it would allege that several elements of the video are homosexual in nature.

“The result will be an astonishing combination of ignorance, offensiveness, and sheer idiocy,” Mylenek said.”

This breaking news from The Onion could not have come at a better time.  Simple Justice is a blawg on the internet.  It is not “the truth,” but just one person’s view.  It may refer to actual news, or real court decisions, or even living human beings, but it is nothing more than the ramblings of a criminal defense lawyer who tends to be a bit prickly, skeptical and occasionally snarky.  Unlike some of your heroes, I’m no demi-god and don’t possess the solution, just some thoughts that, from time to time, strike me as worth writing down.

To the extent that anything written here strikes a chord, enjoy it.  If it’s at all helpful, use it.  If you disagree with it, ignore it.  Don’t look to the internet to find words of wisdom or gurus to follow.  Don’t let yourselves get all bent out of shape over some comment that suggests you’re a blithering idiot.  It means nothing. 

There are relatively few of you who I know outside of the internet.  For others, blawgers and commenters alike, I’ve grown to respect you based solely on what you say, not who you are or what you have to offer.  Your credibility is earned.  I find some comments (and their authors) to be very persuasive.  Others not so much.  Some not at all. 

It’s not that I agree with you all the time, or that you agree with me.  Lots of people disagree with me, so don’t get a swelled head.  But aside from people who post spam comments (and I get a ton of this, but delete it as quickly as I can) and pointlessly offensive comments (and there’s plenty of these as well, by people who think a few curses makes their totally unreasoned position much more convincing), most comments are left relatively alone.  It’s not that I think they add much to the conversation, but even stupid comments reflect what people are thinking, for better or worse.

There have been numerous comments criticizing what I post, not so much for being right or wrong (which certainly happens as well), but for not being what people want to read from me.  Of course, my critics are often diametrically opposed as far as what I should be writing about.  If my purpose was to please others, I would fail miserably. 

Then there are a handful of people who want to use this blawg, because it’s established itself over time, as a launching pad for themselves by trying to show me up.  Sometimes I let this go for a while, but if it doesn’t calm down, I cut it off.  This is my blawg, not yours.  You want to be a jerk, get your own blawg.  It’s that simple.  I don’t owe you a place to post.  There are moments when I can be more gracious towards a jerk, and moments when I just get annoyed.  It happens.  I admit it, I’m not always the most tolerant fellow around. 

So it boils down to this:  I write what I write, and you have the choice of reading it or not.  I may be dead wrong, whether in my analysis, concerns, viewpoints or critiques.  So what?  It’s just the internet, folks.

With this in mind, allow me to take note of my favorite quote of the week, this from Paul Horwitz at PrawfsBlawg :

On the critical side, although Steve Bainbridge has been very active on this issue and makes some excellent points, I find his open letter to the AALS far too fervid.  First, the line, “What you may not realize is that [the boycott] is the subject of widespread and, in many cases, highly critical debate in the law school blog community” demonstrates . . . what?  With all due respect to myself and my co-law-bloggers, that’s not reason enough to cross the street, let alone to pay serious attention; I mean, we also have vicious debates about the law and economics of the Sith Wars. 

It’s just the internet, folks.  Real life is out there somewhere.

H/T Orin Kerr