From J-dog, the Minneapolis version of “NYPD Blue,” where two police officers were tried and convicted for having sticky fingers, this piece from the Minneapolis Post :

St. Paul Police Officer Timothy Rehak and another defendant, Mark Naylon, were found guilty this afternoon of the theft of $6,000 from a hotel room in November 2004. The money was taken in a sting operation set up by the FBI to test their integrity.

Now that the formalities are out of the way, let’s cut to the good stuff.  It’s time for closings.  The AUSA does a yeoman’s job, arguing that the “it was just a joke” defense was “ludircous”.  Paul Rogosheske, the attorney for Mark Nylon, “the man shown in the video tape putting the fingered $6,000 in his right pocket,” argues that every dollar was accounted for.  So far, all fairly pedestrian.

Finally, the second defense attorney, gets his turn at bat:

After the jury has had breaks between Marty and Rogosheske’s closing statements, all are seated and ready to hear the words of the loquacious Mr. Short.

His closing argument is dramatic, his voice rising to a shout at some points, and dropping to a whisper at others. The government has tried to put “round pegs in square holes and left splinters all over the courtroom,” he says. Flapping his long arms like a seagull headed out to sea, Short tells the jury that the defense lawyers could have “come in here and played cribbage for two weeks and the result would have been the same.” The government’s case doesn’t “make a lick of sense,” he says.

After an hour, Judge Patrick Schiltz cautions Short that it’s time to wrap it up. Short goes on for another 20 minutes until he gets to his grand finale:

“There is only one verdict you can return,” he tells the jury in a booming voice. “And that is GUILTY.”

“You mean ‘not guilty,’” Schiltz whispers to Short.

Oops.