Since this has gotten Marc Randazza (and the Satyricnistas?) all worked up, it’s got to be big.
In 2008, Lapriss Gilbert was ejected from the Social Security office in Los Angeles for wearing a t-shirt that said “lesbian.com”. Apparently the flunkie dipshit who worked for Paragon Security Company has never read that particular Supreme Court decision. He “cited the document, The Rules and Regulations Governing Conduct on Federal Property, as proof of his jurisdiction over Gilbert’s attire” (source) and told her to leave the building or she would be subject to arrest.
Randazza, of course, refers to Cohen v. California, 403 U.S. 15 (1971) (”one man’s vulgarity is another’s lyric”). And yes, our erudite Randazza knows full well that the “FD” in the employ of Paragon Security at the behest of our very own Department of Homeland Security likely hasn’t read much of anything in many years, no less Supreme Court decisions.
But should he really be held to such high, no impossible, standards? After all, the law is for elitists and lesbian-lovers of all stripes, but a fine American working as a security guard for Paragon has something the law will never have: common sense. He knows a t-shirt that offends him when he sees it.
More importantly, this was an American just trying to do his job. Sure, he could have slacked off and let people with just any t-shirt into the Social Security office, but that would have resulted in anarchy. He was vigilant. He was decisive. He saw a problem and dealt with it. Isn’t that what Homeland Security is all about? Protect us first and let the mortician sort out the details.
While northeasterners (such as myself) may be inured to the disgusting and pervasive threat of lesbian attacks upon Social Security, which will surely undermine the very fabric of our social security system and thereby threaten the welfare of millions of unemployed evangelicals, it’s time to stop lambasting the hard-working regular folk who do the dirty work of protecting our nation from moral carnage.
And be happy that Paragon Security didn’t arm its highly-trained personnel with tasers.
And if this isn’t enough of a reason to scrutinize the thought processes of those who believe that their personal view of morality present a hard basis for action to protect America from moral decay, consider this: This fellow is allowed to vote.
Update: I’ve just noticed that Randazza is no longer the solo Satyricon, but is now joined by the “Satyriconistas”.
Bonus Question: The Satyriconistas are:
A. A kick line of adult pin-up stars, all with the surname “Barbi”.
B. The latest incarnation of Students for a Democratic Society.
C. A hermaphroditic dance troupe of varying ages out of Boca Raton.
D. Law students beguiled by the wonders of editorial comment and dirty talk.
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Perhaps the TSA thought she was from the Isle of Lesbos, a region which may or may not pose a current threat to the U.S.
And but for the shirt, she could have been held as a spy! Looking at it that way, this security guard was a genius.
I nominate you for the Gold Medal in sarcasm.
You are so freaking funny! 🙂
Do you have any idea how hard I work to get a chuckle out of you?
Thank you. Thank you very much.
There is a ray of hope in all this: rather than the usual whitewash, ICE admitted that the security guard was in the wrong.
A cynic would say that that was likely because it was a security guard, and not cop. We say stuff like that all the time, and we’re usually right.
That said, I don’t think security guards, or cops, need to study any court case in order to be expected to work out that something that they don’t care to hear or see about — whether it’s lesbian.com or sexwithflaminggoats.com — isn’t even a weak reason to kick somebody out of a public building.
A cynic? Who you calling a cynic?
Anyone who acts on behalf of the government must be trained to separate their personal ideology from their official role. Human beings believe in all sorts of wacky stuff (like, say, a VP candidate who thinks creationism should be taught in public schools, as if that could happen), but as the embodiment of a government, they can’t use their official authority to further their personal views.
Had this been an ICE agent, it would reflect poorly on their hiring and training, and hence competency. But since it was a Paragon Security employee, distant from their oversight and control, they could throw us a bone. But call me a skeptic, not a cynic, as I am a devotee of Oscar Wilde.