I knew it was coming. My buddy Conrad sent me an email last week, telling me it was coming, knowing full well that I was going to have a field day with it. I’m almost inclined to let it pass, since I like Conrad, not to mention the other guys around Avvo watercooler. They really are good guys, but I can’t stop myself.
Yesterday, it came.
Congratulations – you have been selected as one of the top 50 attorneys featured in the upcoming November/December Issue of Arrive Magazine – the official on-board publication of Amtrak and the Acela Express along the Northeast Corridor. The top lawyers were selected from 5 practice areas based on their Avvo Rating.
Woo hoo! I’m special. So who gets to learn about how special I am?
The audience is made up of business travelers who ride the train on a regular basis. Arrive boasts 1.4 million readers per issue, and they have an average HHI of $307,700. This is a unique opportunity to reach this coveted demographic.
A household income in the $300’s? That’s pretty darn high. Of course, my coveted demographic are those with high HHI who also happen to be under federal investigation. Unfortunately, no numbers on that particular, but with 1.4 million readers, there ought to be a few targets in the crowd. That’s very special.
And what does being so very special get me?
Four Attorney Advertising Spots Still Available
There are only four spots allocated for attorney advertising in this special “Best of” Edition of Arrive Magazine. The special discounted rates are as follows:Full Page, Premium (adjacent to Avvo list) – $8500
Full Page – $6700
½ Page Horizontal, Premium (adjacent to Avvo methodology) – $4250
½ Page Horizontal – $3350
¼ Page Square – $2125Advertisements will appear on all northeast trains for a full two months (Nov 1 – Dec 31). Amtrak and Acela ridership is at its absolute peak during this time, due to increased holiday travel.
The right to advertise! Double woo hoo! Actually, it’s very kind of Avvo to put me on its list of 50 top attorneys, particularly given the assumption that the chances of my purchasing an advertisement fell significantly below zero. But because of this act of generosity and kindness, I’m considering the unthinkable, with terms.
I’m in for a full page, Premium, ad. Round it off to $10 grand, just for kicks. But since the virtue of such advertisement is a bit speculative, my payment is offered in kind, with a free murder defense to Conrad to be used over the next two months (conditions and restrictions apply). In fact, you guys have been so good to me that I will extend the offer to Mark and Josh as well, although it’s only for one, not all of you. It’s not that I don’t want to defend you, but conflict of interest prevents greater generosity. Besides, this way, if you need me to defend one of you guys, it means that I won’t be the one you murder. No matter how much you want to.
So do we have a deal?
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Hey, just for you, I will throw in a bonus for Mr. Saam – I will represent him in a personal injury claim in Alabama for a 15% contingency fee instead of the usual 40% so you can get one of those ads.
Jon
Wow. Do you see that Conrad? Now the pots getting really sweet. I know you guys can’t turn down an offer like this! Woo hoo!
Average HHI of 300k? that means for each person that makes $600k, there’s a homeless guy on the train?
OMG, you’re absolutely right. There’s a client for both of us in this.
OMG? O-M-G?
Are you wearing a t-shirt and flip-flops again today?
Like, I know! I’m feeling particularly spritely today. Does it show?
Pace Steve Stills:
Find the price of honor
Arrive mag readers abound,
Just ten grand will get you in
Lay your money down
What happens if I hurt myself while killing someone in Alabama? Surely there are jurisdictional issues here.
-Conrad
We’ve got you covered. Just don’t say anything besides “ouch”.
By the way, what is a “northeast train?” Is that a train from Maine to Nova Scotia? Are some of the 50 lawyers who live in the Southwest or Northwest or Southeast going to protest? If someone takes a train from Boston to Bangor that leaves at 7, and….
“Hi, I’m Scott Greenfield, Criminal Defense attorney and Legal Rebel! Are you a stock broker or investment banker, and have you been making personal or corporate investments which an unsophisticated SEC investigator might characterize as being in conflict with the advice you give your clients? Or perhaps you have a highly productive relationship with a Congressman or Senator, but you suspect the FBI may be pressuring him to say things that would put your relationship in a bad light? Or maybe you’ve recently attained a high level of business success and your shrew wife is holding you back, so you’re contemplating, shall we say, outside-the-box methods of terminating your marriage, so you can spend more time with that model/actress you met at that hotel bar who really understands your needs…”
I never realized you had such a knack for marketing.
Am I really here? Wow. Look around. This place is amazing. Look at the accolades. Don’t touch.
I thought I would contribute my significant AVVO moment. As of today, I can say that AVVO not only considers me Superb, but I have finally maxed out at a 10.0!
Yes. You have heard it here, first. While I have been practicing as a Superb AVVO level lawyer for a reasonable amount of time, I was merely a Superb 9.something AVVO rated lawyer.
Stay tuned for my own reports of similar outstanding perks such as you mention.