Laws will be coming.  You can bank on it.  The United States Department of Education has put school districts on notice that they are to craft anti-bullying policies or lose cashola, and they will, much like the zero-tolerance drug laws that give rise to strip searches of young girls over demon-acetaminophen.  Action begets over-reaction.  It’s how we roll.

Aside from the problem that the word “bullying” has yet to be adequately defined, which of course hasn’t stopped anyone from screaming for its criminalization, and that most advocates deem it a function of hurt feelings rather than particular conduct, its elevation to epidemic proportions is precisely the sort of hyperbole that gives rise to the next wave of insane laws and outrageously inappropriate knee-jerk outcomes. 

This isn’t to say that there is no such thing as bullying, or improper conduct that should be prevented. Indeed, schools have always had the problem of bullying to deal with, and the fact that anyone has to use hardened methods to get schools to give some serious thought to protecting students isn’t a commentary on bullying, but a commentary on schools.

That said, let’s not do the easiest thing and lump this into our latest and greatest problem, hurt feelings.  Much of what we see is a product of our fashionable societal expectation that we can get through life without anyone saying or doing anything that will make us feel sad.  We developed a belief that we are entitled to demand that others be the guardians of our fragile self-esteem.  If our self-esteem suffers, someone must be at fault. There must be someone to blame.

Are we seeking a world where people only speak sweetly to others?  When someone asks if they’re ugly, must you insist they’re beautiful no matter how ugly they are?  Must you do so upon pain of imprisonment?

As ridiculous as this sounds, it’s hardly far-fetched.  Within that amorphous scope of “bullying” are people who say mean things to others, or call them unpleasant names.  Some will speak to how such conduct makes the victim feel, and they are absolutely right that it’s not nice.  But is it criminal?  Do you really want it to be criminal?

When I was a kid, there were bullies.  I don’t believe I was a bully, but I similarly feel certain that I must have said something mean to someone at some point, and I would assume that I hurt someone’s feelings.  And still, they survived.  Mothers told their children the rule:

Sticks and stones can break your bones but words will never hurt you.

We believe our mothers.  Someone called us a doody-head, and we called them a doody-head right back.  There was no call for follow-up therapy or drugs for post-traumatic stress disorder.

This is not the solution to bullying.  It is, however, a lost concept for the myriad things that happen in an ordinary life to people whose feelings are hurt by the words of others.  If we got back to it, instead of “I’m OK, You’re OK,” and wallowing in our personal misery for every slight and hurt that life inflicts. perhaps we can avoid much of the “epidemic” and consequently much of the stupidity that will ensue from the cure of the disease.

We’re in for a rough trip ahead with this trend to stop anything and everything that might impair a person’s entitled state of positive self-esteem, and no doubt after the lives of more than a few young people are lost to the next zero-tolerance flavor of the month, we will correct the over-reaction.  In the meantime, just repeat the old phrase to your kids and remind them that they don’t have to fall into suicidal depression just because some idiot said something mean to them.  Not every harsh word in life is criminal.

Their feelings are their own responsibility.  They will be a lot happier with themselves if they can be a bit tougher with others.  And if even it makes them sad for the moment, it’s not like anybody broke their bones.