There has long been a tension among white powder criminal defense lawyers from Miami and New York about getting and keeping good clients. As far as business goes, there’s none better. They have the wherewithal to retain counsel, and the right attitude about it. Lawyers are a cost of doing business.
But times change, and this once burgeoning practice niche has changed with it. The business-like approach gave way to kids who saw Tony Montana as a role model, who lived fast and furious, so that they were often broke by the time they were arrested despite the significant sums they earned in their short careers. Sorry, but not interested in taking that 20 pound diamond encrusted gold necklace as a fee, no matter how much you paid for it.
When the real deal comes along, the drug defendant who has both money to pay lawyers and the business approach to business, lawyers want to score the case and, once retained, keep the client. Especially from other lawyers poaching, and there was never a shortage of lawyers hanging around the lawyers visiting rooms of MCC, always available for a chat. Prisoners will chat with pretty much anybody in a suit and tie.
The word out of Miami’s Federal Detention Center is that lawyers are now expected to bring some entertainment with them during “counsel” visits. From the Miami New Times :
Stripteases, sexual favors, booze, porn mags, and fat stacks of cash would be run-of-the-mill in many Miami strip clubs. But at downtown’s maximum security Federal Detention Center?
Multiple attorneys interviewed by Riptide say the FDC visitor rooms have been taken over by South American pole dancers posing as paralegals for wealthy drug lords inside. Lawyers hired by the accused narco dons allegedly list the scantily clad women as “legal assistants,” and the FDC lets them in. Meanwhile, attorneys who refuse to go along risk losing their clients to lawyers with busty beauties on staff.
It’s certainly an imaginative use of paraprofessionals. There was a time when a female lawyer in New York snuck a hoagie into MCC between her legs, causing a huge ruckus and changes to the rules that made everyone’s life miserable.
I suppose that it’s no surprise that it’s come to this. The ability to obtain authorization to bring a paralegal into the facility is simple, just a form that says the person is working with the lawyer. Since there’s no licensure involved, who can dispute it? For decades, I’ve had family and friends of defendants who have begged me to list them as my legal assistant so they can come into the facility with me, hang in the private attorney visiting rooms and enjoy a bit more privacy and personal contact.
All these years, I’ve refused. Not because I didn’t think I could get away with it, but because I wasn’t a pimp.
One hopes that retention as a lawyer has something to do with one’s ability and integrity as a lawyer. And no doubt, that factors into the equation, but it’s awfully hard to complete with this when your client is lonely.
“They take off their tops and let the guys touch them,” veteran defense attorney Hugo Rodriguez says. “The majority of these young, very attractive women are noncitizens brought in exclusively for the purposes of visiting the FDC. Any lawyer can sign a form and designate a legal assistant. There is no way of verifying it. The process is being abused.”
From the perspective of a defendant who may not have the greatest respect for the law or orderly adherence to administrative rules, and who may be paying the lawyer handsomely for his services, pushing the envelope just a wee bit probably doesn’t seem like too much to ask. After all, why can’t a stripper be as much of a legal assistant as, say, a legal assistant? It’s hard to explain the downside without coming off a bit prissy and unhelpful.
And since there is no shortage of lawyers interested in handling these cases, representing these defendants, the competition is fierce. Clearly, too fierce.
It’s not exactly surprising that it’s come to this. Defendants in narcotics conspiracy cases spend a long time in jail awaiting trial, often years, and due to the presumption, they’re almost always detained. It’s lonely. It’s unpleasant. It’s boring. And they’re used to living a pretty interesting life, and they miss their life. It’s no surprise that the lawyer who can make their detention more enjoyable is appreciated.
The problem is that we’re lawyers, not procurers. Once we cross that line, it’s impossible to go back. Once we reduce our role to conduits for hot women, we need to go shopping for purple velour suits with matching wide-brimmed hats. Hey, if you’re going to be a pimp, at least look good doing it.
There was once a time when lawyers competed for these great cases based upon our ability to fight, and maybe to win. It was skill, and we offered the experience and ability to give them the best possible chance of walking out of the Federal Detention Facility. We sold our ability as lawyers. We didn’t offer S&H Green Stamps or a free toaster. And we didn’t bring in strippers.
Leave it to the Miami guys to take it down to a new level, where the accusations of being unscrupulous vultures, willing to do anything to score a case, became their stock in trade. Kinda makes the hoagie days seem quaint.
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Aside from the professional embarrassment this is, if the person quoted in the article saying that these are non-citizens brought in for the purpose of visiting the FDC, I wouldn’t be shocked if a defense lawyer, particularly one who has rubbed the government the wrong way, gets caught up in some kind of sex-trafficking conspiracy. Ugly stuff.
Is that a hoagie, or are you just glad to see me?
As a south FL criminal attorney, I know that strippers and drugs being smuggled into jail by attorneys is the tip of the iceberg. Many defendants treat lawyers not just as pimps but as business associates. They ask you to do things which would get you RICO-pwn3d and/or killed by their rivals.
I make it a policy to not discuss anything with my clients other than their case. Family problems? Talk to a family attorney or chaplain. Problems with your rivals? I’m ignoring you.
Add in the fact that many “successful” drug dealers have the street smarts and hustle to quickly get some nebbishy lawyer in over their head.
I would say some of the strippers sent to Miami’s federal lockup are the result of the defendant holding something (other than more billables) over their attorney’s head.
Yeah, leave it to us Miami lawyers to screw everything up. I try to buck the trend of what is perceived as the “typical” miami lawyer. I hear it all the time from lawyers I deal with from other parts of the state and country.
I’m so tired of it that I decided against the whole stipper paralegal thing. I just have a DJ and some belly dancers in the office for the initial consultation.
Not for nothing, but the rumor is that the hoagie infiltrator was female. Don’t ask, as I’m not going there.
So what you’re trying to say is they don’t make pimp suits in your size?
I’ve got a couple pimp suits, but when I wear them to FDC I sometimes have pretty girls hand me wads of cash. Wait…
While I agree with you that there will undoubtedly be instances where a defendant does have some dirt on their lawyer, I wholeheartedly disagree with ONLY talking to the client about his case.
Lawyers, as advocates and educators, need to take it upon themselves to address the underpinnings of their clients actions. Why did he act this way? How can I ensure he does not act this way in the future?
Simply dealing with the facts of the case and nothing else is to only touch the tip of the iceberg in serving your client.
Just a symptom of the bigger problem, where getting the client (and his money) is more important than actually doing quality legal work.
Although this does suggest that maybe some clients value a lawyer who will sneak hookers into the visitation room more than one who will get their case dropped…
Lawyers are not social workers, psychologists or moralists. We are advocates whose only duty is to zealously defend our clients. Your view of our responsibility has been discussed ad naseum in the past. You are absolutely, dead, completely, utterly wrong.
I understand that getting some nebbishy lawyer in over his head might be a good way to get some strippers smuggled into the prison, or of passing a note to an associate about who must be snitchin’, but how does that work out when its time to go to trial?
Don’t forget lawyers are human beings. In my practice, my morals DO guide my client interactions. And if I believe I can assist a client in a way that does not necessarily pertain to their case I will do it. Or maybe that is just a NY view…not sure.
What makes you think imposing your morals on others “assists” them? And if you want to have your ideas taken seriously, you would do well to provide either your full name or perhaps include a link back to your website. At the moment, there’s no reason to believe you’re a lawyer, no less a lawyer whose opinion carries any weight.
See here’s my problem. You say that there is an absolute answer to this question but in my opinion this makes you an idiot because if that were the case then why was there an article published today on ABC news about what we didn’t learned from Enron. [Edit. Note: Link deleted per rules. That this particular commenter has difficulty understanding or following my rules comes as a huge shock and disappointment.] To say that this viewpoint is utterly foreclosed shows your lack of understanding and willingness to see others viewpoints. Committing genocide it utterly wrong and that is completely decided but how to deal with one’s clients is very much up for debate in the legal or any profession. Making sure your client understands why what he did was wrong also serves the legal process because it helps keep him or her out of trouble. You don’t have to be a lawyer to know that. Maybe just a person with common sense or not an jackass. But if you are able to completely separate your work life from your actual life then that is impressive. And remember just because it is your opinion on something doesn’t mean the countless number of lawyers and aspiring lawyers agree with you no matter how many shows you’ve been on. And BTW, providing you full name has nothing to do with whether you are able to competently able to participate in a dialogue. And as someone who just created a website, what does it matter if he has one or not. Being a hypocrite doesn’t look good on anyone.
” After all, why can’t a stripper be as much of a legal assistant as, say, a legal assistant? It’s hard to explain the downside without coming off a bit prissy and unhelpful.” — I statement encompassing your morals? I think so.
Or sarcasm, which would make you a, well, dope.
Nice hat. Is that real tin foil?