The contest may not be all that great, but the book is. I was sent a copy of Steven Stark’s “Writing to Win,” and from everything I hear, it’s a terrific book on legal writing, and one that every new lawyer should read.
So rather than stick it on a shelf, why not have a contest and share with a reader? And, just to sweeten the pot, I’ll include a check in the amount of $3.45, rounding out the total value of the prize to a huge $15!!!
How can you win this incredible prize? In a comment below, complete this phrase:
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just . . .
Have fun. And if nobody responds or if the responses are just awful, I’m sending the book to Brian Tannebaum, even though there are no pages to color. Could you live with yourself if that happened? I don’t think so.
*Chances of winning this prize are 1 in 24,394,874.238.12.
** The contest will end whenever I decide it will end.
*** There is absolutely nothing fair about this contest.
**** Employees of Simple Justice New York LLC and any and all parent, subsidiary, related and affiliated companies, and their respective officers, directors, employees and agents and their dependents and immediate families to the third degree of consanquinity, as well as employees of contest Sponsors and vendors, are not eligible to win. Winner must be a United States citizen or know someone who is a United States citizen, over the age of 12 years by December 31, 2026 and sentient.
Originally posted 8/26/2012 9:16 AM
UPDATE: And the winner is…Brian Tamanaha, with the utterly brilliant response:
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just misunderstood.It’s just so good on so many levels. Come on, admit it, Brian’s response was better than yours, and yours kinda sucked anyway.
But Brian, a law professor at some school in St. Louis inexplicably named Washington (seems like somebody could use a geography refresher course, eh?) tells me that as much as he admired Steven Spark, he really doesn’t need a copy of Writing to Win.
And so, having thoroughly reviewed all responses, completed background checks, conflict checks and otherwise exercised due diligence, Brian has advise me to give the book to anybody I want, as if that wasn’t the point in the first place.
So without further ado, the grand prize goes to (ta da) Moshe Glickman, together with my check in the whopping amount of $3.45!!! Congratulations, Moshe. Send me an email and claim your prize!!!
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The law doesn’t suck; it’s just . . . Justice abhors a vacuum.
The law doesn’t suck… on TV.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just … that most participants in the legal system have Justice Deficit Disorder.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just that too many police officers, prosecutors, judges, lawprofs, CDLs, journalists, pundits, bloggers, law students and lawmakers don’t know how it works or how to apply it and can’t be bothered to find out.
The law doesn’t suck, it’s just indifferent to the needs of the society which generates it; it’ll suck – and do more than that – given the right incentives.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just that those who author it and administer it do.
Hey, Jon. Good to hear from you. Hope all is well.
Nigel has a point – all the institutional forces which are supposed to act as checks on executive power (law schools, legislatures, journalists) rarely discharge that function. The exceptions prove the rule.
Don’t suck the fun out of my contest by getting all serious, Jon.
The law doesn’t suck, it just blows.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just that it takes a back seat to results.
isn’t just
not just
oops, i just failed the senscient clause
work, and a way of being useful. Like everything worth doing.
drowning in too many warm bodies. The medical profession has been too smart to let happen to them.
The Law [capitalization required] doesn’t suck; it’s just in exile on a tropical island, sipping a piña colada and waiting for an administration that remembers that the Bill of Rights was designed to protect us from the government which will set it free.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just…to a dollar.
The law doesn’t suck; its just suck-ish.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just the client.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just that lawyers do.
…it’s just that it’s too expensive for 90% of people and companies to have a prayer to rightfully get what’s owed them.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just finding its popularity waning in recent years and resorted to releasing a sex tape in hopes of scoring a coveted slot on Dancing With The Stars. In that respect, our law is nothing more than the American dream.
Let me know when to send you my address.
It’s looking pretty good for you at the moment. What a bunch of sucky responses. For crying out loud, put a little effort into it, people.
Is there a limit on the number of entries per sentient person?
Absolutely. 17,682.09 per person. Not an entry more, and I mean it.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just that some people study/practice it expecting their lives to turn into a John Grisham-ish novel (or something that slightly resembles it). Some people have to set more realistic expectations.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just—before Klout, how else were we supposed to measure influence?
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just “[t]oo large a matter, some may think, for men to judge. But by all right not even I should decide a case of murder-murder whets the passion….But since the matter comes to rest on us, I will appoint the judges of manslaughter, swear them in, and found a tribunal here for all time to come. My contestants, summon your trusted witnesses and proofs, your defender under oath to help your cause. And I will pick the first men of Athens, return and decide the issue fairly – truly – bound by your oaths, our spirits bent on justice!”
-Spoken by Athena in the Eumenidies by Aeschylus, lines 484-486 & 497-505
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just when the last law was down, and the Devil turned ’round on you, where would you hide… the laws all being flat? This country is planted thick with laws, from coast to coast, Man’s laws, not God’s! And if you cut them down, and you’re just the man to do it, do you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then? Yes, I’d give the Devil benefit of law, for my own safety’s sake!”
A Man for All Seasons by Robert Bolt, Act I.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just that—as this contest makes clear—lawyers are woefully unfunny.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just that it’s a fornicating oral gesticulation.
Might cross the line with that one. If so, I apologize. Last post, I promise.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just… okay, you’re right… who am I kidding? The law sucks.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just your imagination.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just and fair.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just a bit skewed—and sometimes crazy. But if you break it, they’ll taze you, maybe.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just that “doesn’t suck,” as used herein, shall mean “sucks.”
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just the lawyers.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just the week before Labor Day, so writing about the law sucks. 🙂
The Law doesn’t suck, it’s Just !
This law doesn’t suck…it just quacks like a duck.
This law doesn’t suck…it is just quacking like a duck.
No extra points for passive voice. Just sayin’.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just the people who do.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just me.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just the people who do.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just me.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just those who think they’re above it.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just you.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just irrelevant.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just those who think they’re above it.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just dead.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just irrelevant.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just the people who do.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just me.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just the people who do.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just me.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just those who think they’re above it.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just you.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just irrelevant.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just those who think they’re above it.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just dead.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just got sharp teeth.
The law doesn’t suck, it’s just hard to tell the difference most of the time.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just. But justice can be a terrible thing.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just about sucking:
[Ed. Note: Blow is only a figure of speech.]
The Law doesn’t suck, it’s just a poor excuse for target practice.
The law doesn’t suck, it’s just overly fixated on foreign objects and bright lines.
The law doesn’t suck, it’s just hard to tell the difference most of the time.
The law doesn’t suck, it’s just a profession that has has run amok.
There are too many lawyers, and bad judges to spare,
To determine stuff like “what’s reasonable care?”
In the criminal system, the poor go to jail,
Meat to the grinder, their freedom curtailed.
Defense lawyer can’t help them, because the system’s unfair, most criminal defendants don’t have a prayer.
Law was once a profession where lawyers made bank
Now it’s a cesspool that won’t fill your gas tank.
A race to the bottom that’s going downhill
If you’ve got a dollar, I’ll write you a will.
Lawyer’s rates continue to drop, hey would you mind giving me a ride to the bus stop?
To those considering law school, save your bucks. You’re probably better off driving a garbage truck.
The law doesn’t suck; when it makes half of the people angry it is doing it right.
The law doesn’t suck; it just…co-opts, vb. 1. To add as a member. 2. To assimilate; absorb. (Black’s Law Dictionary, co-opt)
Saul!
cool contest, bro
This thread is for official business only.
The law doesn’t suck it’s just written at the eighteenth grade level and most people in the legal profession can’t count that high.(please send 3.50 in a certified check).
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just not that into you.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just your luck that doesn’t work.
Otherwise, would you try to push it in a class action lawsuit that promises the “illusory millions” which will eventually be shared with the millions.
I would rather try my luck on a contest that will send me $3.45 and a book in consideration for a little work and lots of fun, even though the odds of winning it are 24,394,874.238.12 : one.
It doesn’t matter that the contest underwriter expressly disclaims all rules and warranties of fairness.
What really sucks, though, is that I cannot legally claim my share of the pie even though I have my legal detriment of 668 characters to stand by.
The law doesn’t suck: it’s administered by politically influenced officials with an agenda.
A merciful death to this. Will it happen?
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just . . . awwww, screw it. Let’s crack another bottle of wine and talk about something interesting.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just misunderstood.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just the facts as given to you or not given to you by your client that suck.
The Law doesn’t suck; it’s just full of gravity.
The law doesn’t suck; it’s just you.
alternatively:
… it’s just a little weed.
The law doesn’t suck, it’s just misunterestimated. Fer sure.
As a foreign lawyer, I probably can’t win this contest, though I do know one or two US citizens who meet the eligibility criteria. At least one of whom is a lawyer. Maybe she’d like the book?
The law doesn’t suck, it’s just not clear which law you refer to.
Our laws are not the same as your laws, though there is a lot of confusion about that. We blame CSI and Law & Order.
The law doesn’t suck, it’s just outdated.
As a foreign lawyer, I will point out that US law, and your legal systems, are amusingly antiquated. Ours are at least a hundred years less ancient, dude.
The law doesn’t suck, it’s just not what we think it is …
I can’t play your game because I’m not an attorney. I did, however, stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
I’m here to collect my book.
The law doesn’t suck,it’s just poor lighting that makes us look like lifeless minions of the dark side.
It’s not the law, this contest sucks. I want to sue. Where i can get some good, free legal advice? I found some promising candidates via social media.
If only you had written this before the contest was over.
In a way, we are all winners; however, in a more accurate sense, Brian Tamanaha is the winner.
The law doesn’t suck; unless its P.L. §130.20 (2).
Wait….is this contest over? Then the law doesn’t suck; it just procrastinates.