Seaton: Fresh Meat on Rocky Top

Last week, we found ourselves without a Head Ball Coach at the University of Tennessee following the sacking* of Jeremy Pruitt over alleged NCAA recruiting violations.

This week a new face emerged as the leader of Vol Nation: Josh Huepel.

Pronounced (Hype-El)

Huepel was introduced to the University of Tennessee by his former Athletic Director, Danny White. He comes from the University of Central Florida and said all the right things during his introductory press conference Wednesday, just like the four other guys before him who didn’t quite grasp what coaching SEC football is like.

The usual suspects in sports media started bitching about how this was a weak hire, while others pointed out Tennessee’s got to make the best of a bad situation right now. Fans flocked to the internet in droves to analyze every word Huepel uttered during his coaching career, his previous recruitment record, and his previous experience coaching Mizzou.

Coach Huepel has his work cut out for him. Signing Day is next week, and he will have to convince potential recruits coming to a school facing unknown, allegedly severe penalties. He’ll have to learn the ropes of Tennessee Football and implement his alleged “offense heavy” coaching style in about eight months.

Once the season begins, he’ll have three games to win fans’ trust before facing his first big test: the Florida Gators in the Swamp.

A plus is Huepel’s record against the traitorous Lane Kiffin. He’s undefeated in matchups against the Rat Bastard, and he’ll likely be hailed a hero if Tennessee bests Ole Miss in Knoxville on October 16.

Welcome to Knoxville, Coach Huepel. The good BBQ is on Jackson Avenue downtown, and you’ll want to try an Old Fashioned at the bar in the Hotel Oliver on Market Square. May your time here be successful and your fortunes as Head Ball Coach glorious.

As far as Jeremy “Super Size Me” Pruitt’s fate, rumor has it he’s landed a gig with the New York Jets. Since the Jets went 2-14 this season and Pruitt’s overall record is 16-19, it seems like a perfect match.

Let’s see what happens from here. Press conferences aside, Coach Huepel will be properly judged once he and the Vols make their first run through the Power T at Neyland Stadium. Hopefully he lives up to the hype.

My blood pressure can’t take another coaching search in two years.

*Sacked. Get it? See what I…never mind.

15 thoughts on “Seaton: Fresh Meat on Rocky Top”

  2. KeyserSoze

    I wish him luck in dealing with the machine that surrounds UT football. He can go 13-0, but piss off the machine and he is gone.

    2. KeyserSoze

      PS: Mr.Seaton; Was there not a murder at UTK involving a football player, UTK police, and a cover up some years ago??

      1. CLS

        Nothing springs to mind in recent memory, but it’s college football. What school hasn’t had a player murder someone and campus police cover it up?

  3. Bear

    Good luck with your new coach Mr. Seaton. Living a life of hope and despair is no fun. As a Cal fan, I know. Maybe Josh Heupel will change that. I *hope* so.

    1. CLS

      The life of a Vol Fan is one of consistent abuse. Yes, they were bad last year, and they’ll probably be terrible this year, but you remember that one year they were good so MAYBE this year…

      You get the point.

      1. Jim P

        In Knoxville, Nov, 9, 1996 is a day that will live in infamy. Memphis fan, born and reared in the bluff city, and it will always be Memphis State, and Elvis Presley Blvd. will always be 51 south.

        1. CLS

          That’s a deep cut if ever one existed.

          (And yes, all of you who aren’t Vol fans are going to have to figure this out yourselves.)

  4. Gregory Prickett

    One minor point. He’ll have to drive over 1,000 southwest to get to really good barbecue, at either Kreuz Market, Smitty’s Market, Black’s Barbecue, or Chisholm Trail BBQ.

    Heupel will do well, he’s got championship blood and OUDNA running thru his veins.

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