I keep a notebook with me during the week. If a thought strikes me as worth writing down, I do it as soon as it comes to me (with reasonable safety precautions taken, of course).

These may seem deep, asinine, or just vanilla level HuffPo takes. You decide.

Everyone says money can’t buy happiness, but having money makes it easier to not worry about money.

With enough paranoia, everything’s connected.

Internet outages are great for catching up on reading.

A Jesuit Priest identifies as “half gambler, half priest.” Are the two mutually exclusive? What about ethically coherent?

Jerry Springer created a generation of trash television.

Years of study are wasted if someone isn’t making fun of you for trying.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you’re not the arbiter of what the summer intern eats for lunch. In some offices, that can send you to HR.

Indignation and offense are never good looks, even if they get you points initially.

When someone ramps up at you in anger, ask them “Was that worth it?” If you know you won’t get physically assaulted doing so.

Move with rising tides instead of trying to stem them.

If someone ever points to a sign that reads “20 Miles to Joplin” and bets you it’s actually less than twenty miles from the sign, do not take that bet.

“Voluntary” free summer school programs are to be avoided like a plague.

Deception for deception’s sake is stupid. It’s the whole reason so much magic looks hokey.

If doing difficult feats of skill were easy, every sucker would do them. That’s why they’re worth learning.

There’s enough information on YouTube to help you get away with armed robbery, but you don’t want to put in the effort.

If a man bets a boxer he can’t knock him off a newspaper, sit down and watch: a boxer is about to get humbled.

Words may persuade a man but numbers will cut him straight every time. Unless it’s weird shit like algebra.

The assholes who jammed on one button playing Mortal Kombat in high school are assholes today.

If three men sit down to discuss a scam, assume two are CIs and one’s a fool.

Never underestimate how much gift cards to restaurants are appreciated, especially for your loved ones who travel.

If you can’t tell who the joke is on–you might be in for a rude surprise.

That’s all for this week! Have a great weekend, and remember: those dumb ideas you’re discarding might be useful one day!

See you next Friday!