Skagway is a small mining town. It’s one of the few areas in Alaska reachable by land from the United States. And it’s extremely small.

How small is Skagway? As a bus driver told me, Skagway is four blocks wide and 23 blocks deep. There’s exactly one bank, one ATM, post office, one building hosting both the fire and police departments, post box and skateboard park. There’s also one school for all grade levels.

While Skagway boasts a single bank and grocery store, the town features two liquor stores, two cannabis dispensaries, two brewers and one moonshine distillery. As the bus driver said, “You can tell we’ve got our priorities straight.”

Skagway was a rough town back in the days of the gold rush. The mounties were actually afraid to go there because the townsfolk were rogues and the government was basically comprised of criminals. In short, it’s my kind of place.

Jewelry stores dot a good portion of the town’s commercial spaces these days in Skagway. When you consider they all used to be brothels. it reveals a lot about what kind of person used to frequent Skagway. The current jewelry merchants do about as well as the madams would have back in the day. Tourists are certainly apt to buy a bauble or two from the pushy salesfolk ushering you in for a look at their wares. I had to fake a phone call from my mother-in-law to extricate my wife and children from examining one display case.

Skagway makes no secret of its past as a lawless town—hell, they embrace it. Tour guides are female theatre majors dressed as madams and ladies of the night. These theatre majors sing hanging out of a theater’s upstairs windows to attract crowds for the evening shows celebrating the life of Jefferson Randolph “Soapy” Smith, a con man who ran what passed for the mob in Skagway.

“Soapy” got his name from a scheme where he’d sell soap with money wrapped around the bars as prizes. He’d start hawking his wares, a shill would come along and buy a bar that had money in it, and folks would come buy soap hoping to win some cash. Smith only passed bars without money to the regular people, though, and earned quite a tidy sum off this racket.`

In short, Soapy paved the way for the current booming Skagway jewelry market.

My reason for coming to Skagway was the White Pass Rail Line. This is a train that starts in Skagway, travels through the most intimidating parts of the Yukon trail to Canada, and ends just across the border. The only place I took more pictures than the White Pass Rail might be Glacier Bay National Park, and that’s because there’s few things more picturesque than a fucking GLACIER.

Canadian CPB agents greeted us when our train stopped across the border. Our immigration “check” consisted of us holding up our passports to our faces so they could see a match. Then we exited the train and got on a bus for the ride back.

The bus driver on our route back to Skagway was a wonderful gentleman with a British accent who claimed to live in Tucson and work in Skagway on a seasonal basis. He did a great job attempting to hold our attention for the drive but most of us were either trying to stave off the cold, take pictures or appease small children.

I did get one picture I adore on that bus trip. It’s a photo of my family in front of a hand carved wooden sign that says “Welcome to Alaska.” Spoiler alert: if you’re on my Christmas card list, that’s probably the photo we’re using.

Before I bid Skagway adieu, I should give some love to the Skagway Fish Company. This is a seafood joint next to the docks where our cruise ship made port that is simply divine. They have the best crab cake I’ve eaten on the West Coast and a crab bisque that takes 22 hours to prepare. You MUST have it before you leave this world.

If I wanted to live anywhere in Alaska, it probably would be Skagway. The one downside is there’s no doctor in town. There’s one “health clinic” staffed by great nurse practitioners, but if you get anything serious you’re looking at a flight to Juneau.

Did I mention it takes a very hard sort of individual to live in Alaska?

That’s all for this stop. Next time it’s Glacier Bay National Park, arguably the gem in America’s National Park system.

And I live next to the Smoky Mountains, so that’s saying something.

See you next Friday!