A veteran goes into a job interview with the USDA.

He sits down with the interviewer. “This is pretty straightforward,” the interviewer says. “I’ll ask you some questions. Your answers will be assigned points. If you get enough points you get the job. Make sense?”

The veteran nods.

“We can start with an obvious one. You’re a veteran, so that’s five points. Do you have any allergies?”

“I’m allergic to coffee,” the veteran replies.

“Okay, that’s another five points. Do you have any disabilities?”

“Yeah, sort of. I lost both of my testicles in an IED explosion in Afghanistan.”

The interviewer checks off another box and says “Okay, that’s fifteen points total. I can definitely offer you the job. It’s from 8 to 5 Monday through Friday but I want you to come in at 10 on Monday.”

“Why ten if it’s from eight to five?” the veteran asks.

“Sir, this is a government job. All we do for the first two hours each day is drink coffee and scratch our balls, and since you can’t do either…”

It’s the close of World War 2 and an American soldier is on a train going from France to England.

He searches for an empty seat on the train—he’s quite tired from all the fighting—but there’s nothing to be had. The closest thing he can spot to an empty seat is one being occupied by a high society lady’s frou-frou dog.

“Ma’am,” the soldier says as he approaches the woman, “I’m on my way home from the war, there’s not another seat on this train, and I’m so very tired. Could you please move your dog so I can sit down?”

The woman scoffs indignantly. “Americans! So rude and presumptuous!”

The solider hears this, decides he wants nothing to do with the woman, so he makes another lap of the train. With no seats becoming available, he finds himself back in front of the high society lady.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you again, but there’s no other seats on this train. I’m extremely tired and just want to sit for a little while. Could you please move your dog?”

Again the woman scoffs indignantly. “It looks like Americans can’t take no for an answer either!”

On hearing this the soldier closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. After uttering a short prayer to God asking forgiveness, he then picks up the dog, throws the yappy little mutt out of the train window, and finally sits down to rest.

The woman screams for someone on the train to defend her honor.

A British gentleman who witnessed everything approaches the soldier. Shaking his head, he says “My dear boy, you Americans seem to have a knack for doing everything the wrong way. You eat food with your fork in the wrong hand, you drive on the wrong side of the road, and now you’ve gone and thrown the wrong bitch off the train!”

I know I said two. Here’s one more I just thought of.

A man orders a latte at Starbucks. He takes a sip and immediately spits it out.

“Ma’am? This coffee tastes like mud,” he complains to the barista.

The barista shrugs her shoulders and says “Well, it was just ground this morning!”

That should get us through the day. If anyone’s got any decent jokes, feel free to share ‘em.

Happy Friday, everyone! Remember, no matter how bad your week’s been, at least you weren’t a nearly eighty year old white guy with a Snidely Whiplash mustache spotted at the New York Stock Exchange in a lavender suit and doo-rag!

We’ll see you next week!

Reverting to her millennial roots, Michelle Goldberg writes of Mitt Romney’s “tragic ambivalence” because of his failure to go full woke on Trump as he explained his retirement from the Senate.

Rolling out the announcement that he won’t run for re-election, Senator Mitt Romney of Utah has framed it as a passing of the torch. “At the end of another term, I’d be in my mid-80s,” he said in a video statement. “Frankly it’s time for a new generation of leaders. They’re the ones that need to make the decisions that will shape the world they will be living in.” He clearly means this as a rebuke to the 80-year-old Joe Biden and the 77-year-old Donald Trump, neither of whom, he said, “are leading their party” to confront the major issues facing our country. “The next generation of leaders must take America to the next stage of global leadership.”

Continue reading →

There is a significant correlation between a child having two parents, regardless of whether they are of different sexes or the same sex, and success. Likewise, there is a correlation between having one parent and a child living a future of poverty. Nicholas Kristof calls this the “privilege” liberals ignore.

We are often reluctant to acknowledge one of the significant drivers of child poverty — the widespread breakdown of family — for fear that to do so would be patronizing or racist. It’s an issue largely for working-class whites, Blacks and Hispanics, albeit most prevalent among African Americans. But just as you can’t have a serious conversation about poverty without discussing race, you also can’t engage unless you consider single-parent households. After all: Continue reading →

According to her campaign mailer, she’s a nurse practitioner and mother of two kids running as a Democrat for the 57th District seat in the Virginia House of Delegates. According to the New York Times, she’s the victim of the illegal violation of her privacy.

But according to the Washington Post, this candidate for office has a side hustle doing internet porn with her husband, a lawyer. Continue reading →

To no one’s surprise, Trump’s lawyer in the Jack Smith January 6 case, John Lauro, has moved for Judge Tanya Chutkan to recuse herself based upon gratuitous statements made during her sentencing of other January 6 defendants.

Fairness and impartiality are the central tenets of our criminal justice system. Both a
defendant and the public are entitled to a full hearing, on all relevant issues, by a Court that has not prejudged the guilt of the defendant, and whose neutrality cannot be reasonably questioned.

Continue reading →

At least not here. Today is the 22nd anniversary of 9/11. I had no clue how I would deal with it this year, particularly after last year. Then I turned on 60 Minutes last night to see video and images that brought it all back. Some I had never seen before. Some I had. All reminded me that it just happened yesterday, at least in my mind.

Comment or not. Care or not. I care. And even if this has grown tiresome to you, I will not forget.

No one has followed lawsuits by male students seeking relief from the denial of due process in campus Title IX sex tribunals more closely than KC Johnson. As a result, KC has watched as certain trends developed. They’re imperfect as a predictor, but pretty darn good. Most significantly, they are not the predictors that law would expect or, in a better system, allow. But they emerge nonetheless, in all their harsh ugliness and cold reality.

For example, Obama and Biden appointed judges are so supportive of female students’ claims of rape that they are extremely disinclined to reverse because the male student was railroaded into conviction. They’re inclined to believe that colleges aren’t anti-male, but just anti-rapist and pro-“survivor.”  They will bend over backwards to come up with some ridiculous excuse to rule against the male student, no matter how badly his due process rights were denied or how flagrant the violation. Continue reading →

When the government tells you, a private enterprise, that it would really like you to do something, the “or else” is always implied. “Nice internet you got there. It would be a shame if anything happened to it,” is the threat with plausible deniability of mob bosses. And government as well, even when you agree with what the government wants or believe that the government’s actions are in the public interest when it comes to speech the government does not want out there.

This was the point of Judge Terry Doughty when he enjoined the Biden administration from asking nicely that social media platforms remove medical information it felt was false or dangerous. And the Fifth Circuit has now affirmed Judge Doughty’s injunction. Continue reading →

Welcome to September, and more importantly, welcome to football season! Though the temperatures are still in the 80s in Tennessee, we’ve finally got college football in our lives again as of last weekend. By the time you read this, the NFL will have completed its season opener when the Detroit Lions play the Kansas City Chiefs.

Living in East Tennessee for the majority of my life, and Knoxville by extension, usually means “football day” for me is Saturdays when my University of Tennessee Volunteers take the field. I understand not all of you are blessed to have an incredible SEC football team to cheer on, so I thought today would be a great time to give my Unsolicited Opinions on College Football and the NFL for this season. Continue reading →

Rarely would anyone ever learn of such a claim if it even happened, as lawyers are wont to harass jurors after a trial even if the verdict included an unpleasant number of words, but it happened in Alex Murdaugh’s murder trial.

The police in South Carolina said on Thursday that they were investigating whether a court clerk improperly communicated with jurors who later convicted Alex Murdaugh for the murder of his wife and son in one of the most famous criminal trials in the state’s history. Continue reading →