Where Did All The Dads Go?

How did “make your bed” become a philosophical tenet? Why do young men need a guru to tell them this? Jordan Peterson has become a father figure to what I snarkily call the “lost boys,” espousing generally fine ideas of personal responsibility and maturity. Make your bed, clean your room, are among them.

You need to be told this?*

For the most part, Peterson’s advice is banal. Not wrong, necessarily, but banal. And as a result, he’s gained a significant and loyal following. On the one hand, it’s good that someone is telling young men to grow up, put away their childish toys and do big boy things like make their bed. I have no particularly issue with Jordan Peterson’s advice here. And as the insipid will respond if you question anything about Peterson’s fans, why undermine someone giving young men positive advice?

While most people got the message, there are invariably going to be dolts who either can’t read or can’t grasp the point. If this is reminiscent of the reaction of SJWs to any challenge to their ideology, that’s because it’s no different. Dogmatic people gonna dogmatic. The breadth of ignorance on the twitters makes stupid responses inevitable, and the demands of antagonistic narcissists go beyond the amount of effort and attention I’m inclined to allow.

But the bottom line question is why young men need to be told to clean their rooms. Why they need a guru to tell them to do so. What has happened to young people, as this is just the male side of the equation, with the female side absorbed in its own childish ideology, that they fail to grow up sufficiently on their own to perform the mundane tasks of maturation?

The most common response is that the boys in need of Peterson’s advice are fatherless. After all, the divorce rate hovers around 50%, certainly far higher than in earlier generations. It’s not a particularly convincing argument in a vacuum, as fathers don’t disappear in divorce. They’re still around, even if not living with their children because the Patriarchy, and their duty to provide fatherly guidance doesn’t change.

But that’s the least of it. In the last century, we’ve been through a number of wars from which fathers didn’t return. World War I, II, Korea, Vietnam. Many died leaving their sons behind, fatherless. Yet, their sons managed to grow up despite never having a guru to tell them to make their bed.

Then there is the helicopter parent explanation, that this generation of parents, or mothers if we’re still talking about the divorce rate, maintain such a level of micromanagement over their children that they never have to make their bed. Leave it alone and mommy will do it for you, and thus there’s no reason to give it a second thought.

This is certainly a deeply counterproductive phenomenon, even if helicopter parents just can’t bear to have expectations of their beloved little darling, but still fails to explain why the kids, even without anyone providing instructions, don’t have a desire to grow up, take control of their lives and, well, make their bed.

As a teenager, the thing I wanted to do more than anything was get the hell out of Dodge. I left home at 17 and never returned. There was never a thought of wanting to perpetuate my adolescence as long as possible. I wanted to be on my own. Everyone I knew wanted to be on their own. Everyone wanted to grow up.

No one asked permission. No one needed anyone to tell them how to do it. And despite the fantasy understanding of how things were back then, our parents had very little to do with our lives. The idea of my mother driving me to school was laughable. Our discussion was largely limited to “go outside and play and be home by dinner,” which was a TV dinner if I was lucky.

My father loves to tell the story of his return from World War II. On his first day home, his parents made him a celebratory dinner. On the morning of the second day, his father woke him up early, disassembled his bed and threw it out on the front lawn. He then told him it was time to start his life. And he did. Granted, that couldn’t happen today, but the idea was that there was no life advice given beyond “grow up.” Somehow, he managed.

Yet, the lost boys vehemently insist that they need Jordan Peterson, or someone like him, to tell them to make their bed or they could never figure it out on their own. I reiterate, this isn’t a slam on either Peterson or the advice he offers. Nor is it a denunciation of his fanboys for appreciating his advice, even though some aren’t the sharpest knives in the draw.

Rather, this poses the question of how putatively sentient human beings can’t figure out, on their own, that they need to grow up, to make their bed? This isn’t hard stuff, or is it? Has the utterly banal become too difficult to fathom for young men today?

Having given plenty of space to the damage pseudo-feminism has done to young women, the absurdity of some boy arguing the requisite virtue of a guru to provide them with a roadmap to basic maturity needs to be confronted. I am glad you have a guru, a Jordan Peterson, to tell you to make your bed, because it is horrifying that you wouldn’t without being so instructed.

But at the same time, I am trying to maintain sufficient faith in male humanity to believe that you have the capacity to figure this out on your own, without a guru explaining it to you. Humanity has managed to survive for a long time without a 12-step program for growing up.

Have we now reached that point where the lost boys can’t possibly manage without it? If there is no dad, there was no Jordan Peterson, to tell you to zip up your fly or wipe your tushy, would you not know what to do? Lost boys, do you really need to be told to make your bed?

*There are, of course, higher order aspects to maturity for which instruction is warranted. Which fork to use, for example. But this is about the most fundamental, most obvious, least sophisticated of notions. Clean your room. Make your bed. This is not higher order stuff.


83 thoughts on “Where Did All The Dads Go?

      1. Skink

        You know that’s unpossible because I have no feelings. That’s likely why I don’t get social justice. I’s just a evil, old, white guy slaving to pay.

        1. SHG Post author

          So you’re saying you like guac with peas? Really? Can we now get to the topic of the post, please?

          1. LocoYokel

            ” guac with peas”

            You know someone is going to a real special place in hell for that abomination don’t you.

  1. Richard Kopf


    I apologize for my ignorance. But who the fuck is Jordan Peterson?

    Are you referring to the fellow who is a Canadian clinical psychologist and a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto? If so, would you kindly provide, as an example, a cite to his writing, lectures or media where Peterson instructs “lost boys.”

    All the best.


      1. Richard Kopf


        Yes, I am. By the way, I didn’t know you spoke Canadian.

        Anyway, I like Petersen ’cause the woke think he is a fascist. His theory of forced monogamy really riles up a certain segment of our population. See the New York Times article entitled,”Jordan Peterson, Custodian of the Patriarchy, He says there’s a crisis in masculinity. Why won’t women — all these wives and witches — just behave?” (May 18, 2018).

        All the best.


        1. SHG Post author

          He serves a useful purpose as a counterbalance to some of the more provocative feminist voices. Then again, we would be better off without either side so that a counterbalance wouldn’t be needed. Eh? (I’m fluent.)

          1. Patrick Maupin

            If you were really fluent, you would realize that “eh?” isn’t its own sentence, eh?

            1. Kathleen Casey

              Oh it is. I dated a Canadian. One dinner. Eh? was its own sentence. Every other sentence.

            2. Patrick Maupin

              It just sounds that way. To your New York ears.

              As a Texan. I myself. Have had New Yorkers. Wrongly assume. That I had finished talking. Multiple times. Within a single sentence.

            3. SHG Post author

              And here, I always felt bad for Texans, assuming they were speech-challenged. Who knew? Eh?

            4. Kathleen Casey

              I’m being objective. I’m from Buffalo. A porous border with C. A? N. A? D. A? and it had me crazed. It’s not the New York you have in mind probably.

              Peterson may have worked on getting rid of the tic. Maybe at Haavaad. He doesn’t have it.

              My husband had a Texas accent because he lived there for a couple years. It obliterated whatever Jersey accent he might have had. Thank the Lord for that. He spoke in sentences. Maybe they don’t where you’re from. It’s a big state.

            5. Patrick Maupin

              When it comes to speech, our objectivity is probably still subjective. (“Yanni” vs. “Laurel”?) I lived in Toronto (pronounced “Torono” as near as I could tell) for a year, and the “eh” always seemed like part of the same sentence to me.

  2. Sacho

    I think you’re misrepresenting the advice Peterson provides. It is indeed aimed at young men who are disillusioned with their (in)ability to influence the world, as they look around and see all the attention aimed at women or “minorities” or whatever. In his lectures, his advice goes roughly like this: fix your own life first, then be a role model to those around you; aim to influence your close friends, because they’re the ones that know you the best, before you try to influence anyone else. Fix your “corner” of the world instead of trying to fix it altogether.

    This may be “obvious” advice to you as well, but it’s not obvious to a generation that grew up on the Internet, connected with “Facebook friends” across the globe, flooded with information they can’t possibly process. These people are bombarded by messages about how the world is falling apart, or they see things they don’t like and want to change them…so they get into fights with their “Facebook friends”, who live different lives in different cultures, and they feel like they have no power to convince anyone.

    This is especially true for young men, who find themselves unneeded and unwanted when they look at the world through social media. The things they feel an innate desire to do are lambasted as “toxic masculinity”. They are told to be “good allies”, to shut up and sit down. Peterson is refocusing these young men’s attention off of the shrieking of SJWs and towards themselves, their friends and family, towards people who would appreciate them. Jessica Valenti might blog about how much she hates catcalling, but your neighbour will take your helping hand when he needs his roof fixed. “Clean your room” has two meanings here: it’s a way to get out of your depression about being unwanted and useless – to set your life straight. It’s also a metaphor for acquiring *useful skills* to help people around you, so you can find meaning in life beyond “get out of the way of women”.

    It’s not that their parents couldn’t tell them the same thing; would they think to even give them this advice? Would the children even follow it, since it comes from their parents? Their parents did not live in a world where most of their friends were anonymous online personas – you had an intimate connection with people around you. They also didn’t live in a world telling you that you’re not just useless, but innately bad.

    1. SHG Post author

      You’ve combined two very distinct issues into one rationale. Navigating masculinity on an internet where there is a never-ending supply of voices telling you you’re toxic is one thing, and certainly a problem for impressionable young men. But that isn’t the same problem as “engage in the basic tasks of growing up.”

      I hear your “metaphor” point, and if it was only a metaphor, I might think it was a poor but understandable one. But it’s not merely a metaphor. He’s telling young men to actually, physically make their bed.

      1. Schmendrick

        I’m not so sure that “engaging in the basic tasks of growing up” is really so easily distinguishable from broader societal trends. After all, “growing up” is only attractive if taking responsibility for yourself, developing competence, and influencing the world around you are seen as praiseworthy attributes. When lots of people are shrieking that competence is oppressive, self-reliance is toxic, and anyone who contributes meaningfully to the world around them should be burned at the stake for maliciously preventing things from becoming a United Colors of Benetton utopia, well, videogames, junkfood, and isolation don’t seem to be such a bad alternative.

        But there’s the trap; if you give in to that temptation, all-too-often your mental state dissolves into hopeless, helpless, spineless anomie and depression. And under those circumstances, even cleaning your room – literally as well as metaphorically – seems nigh impossible. So, given that a number of men are now stuck in this enervation, what are we to do? Peterson’s not perfect by a long shot. But at least he’s trying…and, if the sales figures are anything to go by, at least partially succeeding (if only in the short term). Perhaps I’m wrong, but that seems praiseworthy to me.

        1. SHG Post author

          Whether Peterson is praiseworthy or not is irrelevant. This isn’t about Peterson. I thought I had made that clear enough so even people who praised Peterson would get it.

          1. John Barleycorn

            Take Off, Ea!

            Let me guess, you weren’t watching McKenzie Brothers reruns while writing this post.

            The parallels are uncanny in a strange-brew-sort-of-way, if not literally.

            But the best part is, multiyear beer commercial contracts are still paying more then getting on that newspaper you read every day’s best seller list, or publishing a weekly opinion piece for them.

            Oh yeah…. if Peterson asks you to be his “brother” for an upcoming tour you best think twice. It is probably a trap and the next thing you know he will come out as a metrosexual on stage and leave you holding your unshaved nut sack next to Roxane Gay on the night she decides to break out her spandex flamingo jumper.

            P.S. How many times do I have to tell you that all you have to do is sell me the URL. Heck, your weekly guest column alone will be sure to land you a ten year advertising deal with some multinational brewing company or at the very lest get you the inside info, when you need it, to make a billion or so in the pork bellies futures market.

      2. Jason K.

        “Clean your room” was shorthand for ‘Organize your environment so that it is conductive to your goals. Start with your immediate proximity first, and work outwards.’ Whether or not you actually clean your room or make your bed is only relevant to the degree those actions are conductive to your goals. It is taking ‘a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step’ and ‘think globally, act locally’ and providing framing for an action plan.

        Is it earth-shattering, revolutionary advice? No, but it is a lot more actionable and universally applicable than a lot of advice. You may still deride the advice as something for children. I see plenty of I adults from all generations that don’t follow it.

        1. SHG Post author

          You left out intersectional. There’s an interesting theme with those who feel compelled to defend Peterson and his advice, since that’s not the issue raised. Are they so myopic, like the dreaded feminists, that they refuse to face the question or are they just a bunch of dopes who can’t figure stuff out, including what this post is about?

          1. Nick Lidakis

            Coffee is for closers.

            All the Shelly Levines think Peterson is from Mitch & Murray. Not even close.

          2. Ron Johnson

            Nah, your article was snarky and dismissive, while at the same time grudgingly positive. It would have been good if you had noted that “make your bed’ was a simple opening into a much deeper thought process involving 10,000 years of culture and a million years of evolution. “Make your bed” is, by itself banal, but that is hardly all that Peterson wrote.
            You did pose a decent question, though. What has happened to young men today that Peterson’s common sense advice does not seem so common? No, I don’t think it is merely the presence or absence of a father figure….there is something much more toxic going on. There is the undermining, the negating, of masculinity itself by people who claim moral superiority. Young men are thirsty for a confirmation that they were not born guilty.

            1. SHG Post author

              If I’m being “snarky and dismissive,” might that give you a clue what I think of this?

              I appreciate that there are plenty of people screaming about toxic masculinity. Had you been around here before, you might even be aware of the many posts I’ve written about it. But since you didn’t know, it didn’t exist, because you’re the center of the universe and you’re sad and butthurt and doubting your masculinity and “thirst for confirmation,” right?

              Sit down. I have something to tell you and it’s going to make you sad.

            2. Skink

              This is seemingly new to you, so I’ll explain in the gentlest manner possible: you’re a dope. Then again, that might be a little old-school for you. Does “dumbass” work better?

              You may have noticed at the top of this blog, or any good blog, is what it’s about. Then again, maybe you didn’t bother, so I’ll explain: we’re mostly trial lawyers of some sort. Now, that doesn’t makes us smarter than other folks; we ain’t. But we understand argument and logic. I know it may be hard to believe, but we kinda expect that’s how the conversation will go.

              So when someone wanders into this here hotel with a bunch of middle school, banal, basic, borrowed stuff, we tend to recognize that a boob checked in.

            3. SHG Post author

              There is, you realize, a huge irony in suffering the rationalizations of people who are by definition dolts. They don’t understand why they’re insipid for the same reason they need a guru to lead them out of their unmade beds.

            4. Skink

              You’re right. I swear I will no longer be a victim of the stupid or clueless. Is there a group, blog, website or vape bar for my victimhood? You know, some place, real or webular, where I can be with my own kind?

              Wait a minute. . . .

        2. Sgt. Schultz

          Zips up fly.


          Peterson: First, place your penis within your pants and underwear. Then zip up fly. Sequence matters, eh?

  3. Miles

    There’s a deeper level of failure reflected in Sacho’s explanation, that their reality is framed by the random ranting of idiots on social media, rather than people they know in real life, respect or at least give a damn about. This is a difference for young people that us old guys may not sufficiently appreciate.

    1. SHG Post author

      I get it (as reflected in my many posts addressing the problem). One would think digital natives would grasp that this is all noise in the ether, yet they take it seriously as if every blithering idiot matters and they are fighting for their life whenever some troll twits an emoji at them. Is this generation doomed by their acceptance of random twits telling them they suck as meaningful or can they mature beyond it?

      1. LocoYokel

        I think we can write this generation (and maybe the next one as well) off and hope for better on the return swing of the pendulum. It will be sad to watch, but we’re in for a rough next few decades. And I’m still young enough that I will get a front row seat for a lot of it but to ‘old and white and stupid (evil)’ to be able to give any advice any of them will listen to.

      2. DaveL

        One would think digital natives would grasp that this is all noise in the ether

        Do herring realize they’re wet?

      3. Ayoy

        Digital natives would do well to grasp anything. With Deliveroo, Netflix, whacking off to the latest porn and the option to “work from home” there is no need today to get out of bed, let alone make it, or move to the next stage… tidying the room.

        Petersons appeal to adherents is that upon clambering out of 1080p world, embarking on any physical activity is a novel and welcome experience (with added endorphins).

        Peterson is doing great work in this respect.

        1. SHG Post author

          So it’s not the father thing, but that they live a wastrel life and have evolved into slugs incapable of tending to their basic needs?

          1. Ayoy

            The technology provides some of the basic needs, and probably serves “slug” life to a point, there’s no substitute for getting out there and “doing” though. So I guess I saw the tidy your room business as a metaphor for physical activity, (maybe not a great one) like a few others here.

            Evolution is interesting here as technology over the last 20 years has surely has it completely baffled. The human brain evolved over 7 million years. Who knows the disrupting effect of technological paradigm shift? Maybe the slugs are a result.

            I glad I grew up prior to the internet. It’s a weird world for kids nowadays.

    2. Jay

      Personally, I don’t have high hopes when I see young people making other decisions based on how they think they’ll be perceived. I’m in my mid thirties but the helplessness among younger people is unsettling.
      no link but this is telling:
      “How do you pick your holiday spots? Weather? Value for money? Lack of other tourists?

      There are various factors at play, but it turns out the most important thing millennials consider when choosing a holiday destination is how Instagrammable it is.

      A recent study has revealed that two-fifths (40.1 per cent) of millennials choose a travel spot based on its Instagrammability.”

    1. PseudonymousKid

      “Man has no moral instinct. He is not born with moral sense. You were not born with it, I was not — and a puppy has none. We acquire moral sense, when we do, through training, experience, and hard sweat of the mind.” So says Mr. Heinlein in Starship Troopers. Man should look elsewhere for “hard sweat of the mind” than from Peterson.

      1. SHG Post author

        Some call Peterson the stupid man’s intellectual. Maybe it would pacify you if he was referred to as the stupid man’s blind squirrel?

  4. PseudonymousKid

    Dear Papa,

    Quit telling me Peterson isn’t that bad. The guy’s a moron who throws around “postmodernism” and “cultural marxism” without a care to what those terms actually mean. He plays to his crowd and cries about Great Grandpappy Marx being a literal murderer.

    Mr. Marx wasn’t the fucking murderer. That was Stalin, dumb fuck. The mustached one, not the one with the full luxurious beard. Peterson and all his sad boys can stay in and continue to not get fucked. He’s a fucking psychologist who’d do better to stay in his box rather than stomp through gardens of his own ignorance. He gets credit because he doesn’t agree with stupid pronouns. I’ll put his gold star up on the star chart.

    Your quest for reason doesn’t need a sycophant like Peterson in the party at all no matter how many of your readers suckle whatever filth he spews forth.


      1. PseudonymousKid

        Already made! Cooked my woman breakfast and even cleaned up after that too. I’m fully housebroken, Pa. Still immature, but damn if my dishes and clothes aren’t clean. It doesn’t take a Peterson, just a dose of self esteem and antidepressants.

        1. SHG Post author

          Should I tell him mom wasn’t giving him antidepressants, but Quaaludes? Nah. If they’re working, they’re working.

  5. Fubar

    *There are, of course, higher order aspects to maturity for which instruction is warranted. Which fork to use, for example. But this is about the most fundamental, most obvious, least sophisticated of notions. Clean your room. Make your bed. This is not higher order stuff.

    This silly animation is a minute and a half too long.

    Cut to the chase at 40 seconds in.

    1. SHG Post author

      “So here are your choices, grasshopper: spend a life wearing an orange sarong, surrounded by bald guys, contemplating the universe or drink booze, smoke weed and have kinky sex with hot chicks.”

      “I have been here in this monastery for some time, and I’ve had no instruction from you.”

      1. Fubar

        “So here are your choices, grasshopper: spend a life wearing an orange sarong, surrounded by bald guys, contemplating the universe or drink booze, smoke weed and have kinky sex with hot chicks.”

        Don’t need the sarong and bald guys if you have a good coach.

  6. jay-w

    ” … wars from which fathers didn’t return. World War I, II, Korea, Vietnam. Many died leaving their sons behind, fatherless. Yet, their sons managed to grow up …”

    According to Judith Rich Harris (The Nurture Assumption), the key factor is the amount of fatherlessness that exists in the child’s neighborhood or overall environment, rather than just in his specific family.

    A boy can grow up OK without a father if he has other wholesome male role models to imitate, but the tipping point occurs when fathers are absent from the whole culture — and (worse yet) fathers & fatherhood are systematically denigrated.

    1. SHG Post author

      Is that happening? From what I understand to be her thesis, parental influence on a child is tempered by surrounding influences, such that a bad parent (or absence of a parent) is compensated by others. Where are all the others? Is divorce today creating a greater dad gap than WWII?

      1. jay-w

        I would think so. According to Wikipedia, the total number of American deaths in WW2 was about 400,000. So, even if each of those dead soldiers left behind an average of 2 fatherless children, that would still be less than 1 million.

        According to various Internet sources (of unknown reliability), the total number of children in the USA today growing up without fathers is in the ballpark of 20 million. … And of course, its not just divorce; out-of-wedlock births are surely a major factor.

  7. Noxx

    None of them drive either. When I was a boy, it was a given that you were going to spend part of your 16th birthday at the DMV. We chafed and jumped and harrooed for that license and the freedom it represented.
    This extended infancy is shameful to look upon, give today’s young man a 500 Honda and a backpack, and he’d sue you for endangering him.

    1. SHG Post author

      I once asked on the twitters how many could drive a stick. The general response was “Drive?”

      1. Noxx

        No one can tie a bowline or check their oil, but they sure can use that there twitter.

        We may have become stereotypical old men sir. I call Statler, you can be Waldorf.

        1. Lucas Beauchamp

          I can tie a bowline with one hand. Do you think anyone cares?

          My autocorrect doesn’t even recognize the word “bowline.”

      2. JRP

        In the non-twitters worlds defense the twitters dont represent us. If they did we would be in alot more trouble.

        And my five year old daughter can do most of those things (no driving yet but if I got her foot pedal extensions she would try) my sons will to. Children learn what we prioritize, make/is fun or they see there parents doing.

  8. Ray

    I kind of agree with you on this one. (Probably because I never liked being told what to do by authoritarian types). But how do you argue with the guy below. Hopefully this YouTube link connects directly. If not, go on and see for oneself.


    Its the Admiral explaining how one begins changing the world. His answer is to start your day by making your bed.

    On an aside, I notice posts by “losingtrader,” “noxx,” “fubar,” “Pseudonymous Kid,” “Hunting Guy,” “Local Yokel,” “Skink,” and “Sacho.” I hope I’m not the only guy being picked on for going “Anon.” with my previous posting (I mean in the interest of justice, fair play, and anti-authoritarianism).

    1. SHG Post author

      He’s channeling Peterson, but given it’s in the Republic of Texas, there’s a strong possibility they still won’t catch his drift.

      [The problem wasn’t your using a pseudonym, but using “anon,” the most generic ‘nym possible. And Skink is already taken.]

    2. Jim Tyre

      Its the Admiral explaining how one begins changing the world.

      I’m very disappointed. In the context of this blog, expectations were high that it would be a Nebraska Admiral.

  9. Nemo

    You ask “where did all the dads go?”. I think the more relevant question is “what happened to the ‘fatherhood’ role?”. While the slide of the role has been ongoing, at some point on the societal level, it seems to have faded to ineffectiveness.

    Neither question can be answered with a quip, so I’ll limit things to pointing out that there used to be a modicum of benefit to filling the role to the best of one’s ability, one that made the difficulties of filling the Father role a price worth paying. Now?

    1. SHG Post author

      I don’t think wild horses could have prevented me from being the best father I could to my children. There was nothing society or culture could have done to change that.

  10. Liam McDonald

    Nemo has a valid point. It’s the fatherhood role that has declined in a large way. And regardless of how you strove to be the best father you could be I am sure there were times when you fell short by a mile or so. The difference between a good parent and a bad one is that the good one admits their shortcomings to their kids and explains why they did what they did. A bad parent justifies the shit they do in their head as no big deal and pushes it out of their mind.
    My own parents were shit. Steamy piles. And yet I became a man who has in turn become a good parent. But the reason had nothing to do with them. I have 4 brothers and 2 are in jail and the other 2 struggled with anger their entire lives until their untimely passing. They had the same upbringing I had except for one thing. They didn’t have Mr Higgs as their grade 6 teacher.
    I owe more to that man than anyone else because he was the first man who took the time to listen to me and tell me what truly makes a man and why that’s important. I am fairly certain that if Mr Higgs hadn’t made such a strong impression on a confused 11 year old boy I would be in the same boat as those other 2 asswipes.
    And that’s why Jordan Peterson makes such an impact

    1. SHG Post author

      So a good father is no biggie, but your 6th grad teacher was life-changing? It’s wonderful that you had a Mr. Higgs and very sweet that you appreciate what he gave you, but your story is about you, not the universe.

  11. Kay

    I’m a Mom. I taught my boys how to make a bed. I taught my daughter how to marry a nice boy from Cornell. Life is good. (Sorry, I know this isn’t about me.)

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