Madison Cornbread was a petite, pretty young 22-year-old woman who had the world in front of her. Though life in Driftwood County was rather dull for someone her age, soon she planned to start classes at the University of Alabama. She’d been saving up through various odd jobs, including babysitting.

Things were starting to go her way. She’d been out the night before at the Grassy Knoll Pub celebrating with friends, met a cute guy, and went back to his place. Now, at about ten in the morning, Madison drove towards her parents’ home where she planned to clean up before getting to the day’s needed events. Continue reading →

An uneventful night at the Grassy Knoll Pub got interesting when Jesse Custer, the proprietor and bartender, noticed droplets of water on the bar forming letters.

The letters formed words. The words a sentence.

Specifically one that read “I DESIRE A DRINK-M.”

Time to make good on that promise, Jesse thought. Raising his voice above the noisy jukebox, he yelled “Pay for your shit and get out! We’re closed!” Continue reading →

If the last two years taught us anything, it’s that just when you think life can’t get any weirder, life will stare you straight in the eye and say “Hold my silly-string flavored beer.”

Last week I made a bunch of bad jokes about an incident where a Washington Post reporter got suspended without pay for retweeting a joke. Then this week I find out Vince McMahon, the 76-year-old billionaire at the helm of professional wrestling giant WWE, is stepping down from his roles as Chairman of the Board and CEO due to an alleged $3 million hush money payout made to a former paralegal. Continue reading →

If you’ve had better things to do over the last week or two than follow what reporters are doing on Twitter, congratulate yourself for minimizing your exposure to the shitstorm we’re going to discuss today.

David Weigel is a reporter for the Washington Post. I’m not really familiar with Dave’s work, but I do know in the last couple of weeks he retweeted a bad joke.

The joke, in case you were wondering, was something told by a YouTuber named Cam Harless, who apparently twitted “Every girl is bi. You just have to figure out if it’s polar or sexual.” Continue reading →

The term “independent film” evokes one of two images in my head. The first involves pretentious art-house movies that pander to pseudo intellectuals who turn their noses up at anything released by a big studio. The other is the schlocky, campy horror films created by Lloyd Kaufman’s Troma Studios.

That’s what makes WJHC-AM such a refreshing change of pace in movies today: it’s original, it doesn’t take itself seriously, and it’s not another fucking superhero movie. Continue reading →

Mud Lick was hotter than a sinner’s ass in church. Sheriff Roy’s AC was on the fritz.

This would not stand.

Sheriff Roy believed in certain fundamental truths he liked to think were cornerstones of his character. Among these were truth, justice, the rule of law and the God Given Right to set the internal temperature of one’s residence to one’s personal tastes. Continue reading →

Once a month, usually on the first Thursday, the Grassy Knoll Pub hangs a sign on the door that reads “Closed to the General Public.”

Inside, the Knoll’s staff sets to work on that day replacing the “conspiracy theory chic” decor with items more pleasing to those in law enforcement.

Gone, for example, were the pictures of Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack Ruby, replaced with photos of Wyatt Earp and J. Edgar Hoover. Cassidy, the Irish doorman of the Knoll, wanted to put of pictures of Joe Friday from “Dragnet” but Jesse Custer, the Knoll’s proprietor, nixed that idea. Continue reading →

Mx. Roberta Finklestein (pronouns they/them, MA in Gender Studies, Oberlin 2010) was perplexed. For the life of them they couldn’t figure out why they’d been pulled over that day by a nice but rather imposing Latinx gentleman working for the Sheriff’s Department, cited, and told to appear at the station for questioning.

They initially thought it had something to do with their allyship work and social justice initiatives they brought with them on starting as a substitute teacher for the Eighth Grade classes at Nicholas Saban Intermediate School in Driftwood County, Alabama. Continue reading →

Let’s start this with an admission. I’m a Batman kind of guy. Out of all the superhero types, be they Marvel, DC, or some other comic label, Gotham City’s Caped Crusader’s been the one I flocked to the most.

So when I heard a Batman cinematic reboot was in the works, I rolled my eyes a little. After all, the Dark Knight’s gotten treatments from Tim Burton, Christopher Nolan, and Joel Schumacher (for all the good THOSE movies did). What else could a new director bring to the table? Continue reading →

Happy Friday everyone! This weekend’s particularly significant for my family as we’re celebrating two big occasions. The first, of course, is Easter. I don’t know what happens in other parts of the country (or world) on Easter weekend, but in the South, everything shuts down for basically four days. The kids get Good Friday off, all weekend is theirs, and then the Monday after Easter is a day off for the kids as well.

I suspect the Monday holiday is more for the teachers than the students or parents.

But I digress. Everyone loves a long weekend. Continue reading →