The restaurant business is notorious for failure. For the few able to fill every seat and charge exorbitant prices, the business model works. Same with fast food chains, whose business model is down to a science. But for a restauranteur like Yannick Benjamin, whose restaurant Contento was excellent, it seems the notion of business model was never considered.

After more than three years of service, during which The New York Times ranked us twice among the 100 Best Restaurants in New York City and the Michelin Guide gave me its sommelier award, I had to say goodbye to my talented staff and lifelong dream of owning a restaurant. The combination of inflation, rising crime that required us to pay for security guards and declining profits simply proved insurmountable.

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To be fair, there is schadenfreude aplenty to be enjoyed from the sidelines of the battle brewing between The DOGE twins, Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy, and the Trump-loving MAGA America First base. After all, the latter has no need for H-1B visas for “skilled immigrants,” because they’re not immigrants. But are they skilled?

This conflict is now roiling the Republican Party. Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy are dynamists. They want to welcome talented immigrants to the American economy for the same reason the New York Mets are spending over $700 million to sign Juan Soto. You could field a team with all native-born players, but you couldn’t hope to compete with the best in the world.

To say it’s roiling the Republican Party is to raise hoary questions about whether a Republican Party still exists. This ain’t Ronny Reagan’s Republicans. Continue reading →

Hello everyone! It’s your humble humorist ceasing work on the Year in Review for a small housekeeping note. Several people have reached out to me after the disappointing end to the UT/Ohio State game last Saturday. Some were nice. Some were not.

To those who seemed sincerely worried, I’m fine. I’ve lived through Kiffin, Dooley, Butch Jones and “McDonalds’ Bags” Pruitt. A ten win season is heaven for me.

Was the game in Columbus what I wanted to happen? Of course not. And Ohio State’s a very game, very potential national championship team. This unpleasantness was always a possibility.

For those who were more interested in talking shit, allow me a brief rejoinder. Continue reading →

Retired Judge Nancy Gertner and Joel Cohen raise the alarm about the potential shift in the 94  United States Attorneys offices across the country from independent entities to weapons of partisan retribution.

President-elect Trump recently threatened to lock up political foes, like Liz Cheney, as well as members of Congress who investigated his role in the Jan. 6 attack. “For what they did,” he said, “honestly, they should go to jail.”

On the campaign trail, Mr. Trump said repeatedly that he would encourage the Justice Department and the F.B.I. to go after his enemies. His picks for attorney general (Pam Bondi) and F.B.I. director (Kash Patel) have echoed these remarks. Mr. Patel even compiled an enemies list, which includes Christopher Wray and retired Gen. Mark Milley.

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The tradition continues. Merry Christmas, everyone.

Many young people have the mistaken understanding of olds that as their mental faculties diminish, they slide from wise, cogent beings into incoherent drooling dementos. As an old, and an old who has spent a good deal of time dealing with even older olds over the past few years, that’s not how it works. It creeps in, quietly at first, and then one day, you end up missing from Congress for six months and eating lime jello in a home for people with dementia, delightfully called a senior living center.

It’s one thing for a member of Congress to succumb to senility. After all, the ramifications aren’t necessarily different from those who entered Congress despite their inability to enjoy rational thought. It’s another for those who hold singularly important positions. One of the underdiscussed issues at the moment is who is the president? Continue reading →

Just the other day, I snarkily twitted:

Can somebody wake President Biden up and remind him that he still needs to commute the sentences of federal death row prisoners to life?

And I’ll be damned. someone did.

President Biden on Monday commuted the sentences of nearly all prisoners on federal death row, sparing the lives of 37 men just a month before Donald J. Trump will return to the Oval Office with a promise to restart federal executions.

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Rats, amirite? After decades of suffering rat infestations, New York City’s Department of Sanitation came up with a brilliant idea: Put garbage in sealed bins. You know, like they do in most other places. What could possibly go wrong?

Last week, Mahmoud Kasem opened a pair of rusted steel doors in the sidewalk in front of his business, the Al-Aqsa Bakery & Restaurant in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, and descended into the mucky darkness of a small basement.

By squishing, stacking and cramming, Mr. Kasem can squeeze an almost infinite number of black plastic trash bags into this underground space. But bins — particularly the wheeled ones the city now requires restaurants and smaller apartment buildings to use — can’t be squished or stacked. His bakery generates enough trash to fill 12 bins three times a week. But Mr. Kasem has no place to put them all. Continue reading →

Happy Friday everyone! It’s time for the annual Friday Funny Christmas Letter, my musical holiday interlude for you all. Per usual, I’m accompanied by the incomparable Tom Lehrer. Could you please get us started, Tom?

Christmas time is here by golly, disapproval would be folly,
Deck the halls with hunks of holly, fill the cup and don’t say when!

I like celebrating holidays at their own times during the year and their own pace. In my house Christmas officially begins when Santa makes his Macy’s Parade appearance. After that we get to put up decorations and so on. Continue reading →

I have little sympathy for the murderer of United Healthcare CEO, Brian Thompson. It has nothing to do with my views about healthcare, but with my views about murder. But as despicable an act as it was, the subsequent “piling on” is deeply concerning and, in all likelihood, problematic as well. The feds just couldn’t keep their nose out of it? New York County district attorney Bragg had to up the ante with a first degree murder charge by making it about terrorism rather than a second degree charge for the murder itself?

Was it not sufficient that a murder be prosecuted in the usual jurisdiction under the usual charge? Continue reading →