Memorial Day 2024

My father taught me that there was no glory in dying in battle. He served in the European Theater in World War II in the 86th Infantry, the Blackhawk Division. He mostly spoke of how cold it was, but he never forgot the men with whom he served who never made it home. My father hated war, not that there were times it couldn’t be avoided, but he honored those who died and taught me to honor them as well. They didn’t ask to die, but they served knowing it could happen. They went anyway because that was their duty.

Did other fathers teach this lesson to their children? Apparently not. Continue reading

To Believe To Belong

This wasn’t the same as other protests, as it pitted one group of students against another rather than the government. It was students who embraced the lie that Israel was the oppressor and the Palestinians were the oppressed. It was students who believed the deluge of propaganda pictures and videos that rarely showed what they claimed to show, rarely held up to scrutiny, all designed to play their shallow emotion and feigned claim to be on the side of morality. It was students who claimed to hate Zionists, but not be antisemitic, without the slightest clue how those two things were inherently intertwined.

It was students whose twisted, childish grasp of facts turned terrorists into freedom fighters, who made excuses for why rape was, this time, justifiable. Continue reading

Seaton: My “People’s School of Gaza” Commencement Speech

Note: The following was my proposed commencement speech for the 2024 class of the “People’s School of Gaza” at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville. For some reason, the “faculty” declined my invitation to speak—CLS

Good afternoon. Before I begin, if everyone could please deactivate your explosive vests, remove your keffiyehs and silence your cell phones until commencement exercises conclude, that would be appreciated.

Also a brief housekeeping note: If anyone knows who spilled red paint all over the Student Union men’s bathroom, please invite them to clean that shit up. This isn’t a daycare and none of you are toddlers. Allegedly. Continue reading

Can Trump’s Proxies Be Gagged?

It was just basic nuttiness, combined with a facile lie and banal Trump ignorance. No, there was nothing about the Mar-a-Lago search warrant that in any way suggested that Biden authorized Trump’s assassination. This was unadulterated lunacy, and naturally swept in the usual lunatic suspects.

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Seaton: Woke Fables

THE FROG AND THE SCORPION

Once upon a time, in a vibrant swamp filled with the croaking of frogs and the buzzing of insects, there lived a transgender frog named Frankie. Frankie was a kind and gentle soul, always ready to lend an ear or a helping hand to those in need.

One sunny day, Frankie was basking on a lily pad when a scorpion named Scorpius approached. Scorpius was known throughout the swamp for his sharp wit and cunning nature. He was also well-known for his dislike of bigots, those who judged others based on their differences.

“Hello, Frankie,” Scorpius said, his voice smooth as silk. “I have a proposition for you.”

Frankie, being the trusting frog that he was, listened intently.

“I need to cross this swamp,” Scorpius continued, “but I cannot swim. If you carry me on your back, I will reward you handsomely.”

Frankie considered the offer. He knew of Scorpius’s reputation, but he also knew that a bird in the hand is worth two bigots in a bush. He decided to take the chance.

“Very well, Scorpius,” Frankie said. “I will help you.”

And so, Frankie allowed Scorpius to climb onto his back, and together they began to cross the swamp. As they swam, Scorpius spoke of his adventures and his disdain for bigots. Frankie listened, fascinated by the scorpion’s tales.

When they reached the other side of the swamp, Scorpius thanked Frankie and gave him a bag of gold coins. Frankie was overjoyed. He had taken a risk, and it had paid off.

The moral of the story is: a bird in the hand is worth two bigots in a bush. It is better to take a chance on something that is certain, rather than hold out for something that may never come to fruition. And, of course, it is always wise to stand against bigotry and embrace the differences that make us all unique.

THE PIG AND THE SQUIRREL

Once upon a time, in a lush green forest, there lived a pig named Penelope and a squirrel named Sammy. Penelope was a kind and gentle pig who loved to read books and learn about the world. Sammy, on the other hand, was a mischievous squirrel who enjoyed playing pranks and making fun of others.

One sunny day, Penelope was sitting under a tree, reading a book about the history of the forest, when Sammy came bounding up.

“What are you reading, Piggy?” Sammy asked, his voice filled with disdain.

Penelope looked up from her book and smiled. “It’s a book about the history of our forest,” she said. “It’s quite fascinating.”

Sammy laughed. “You’re a pig, Penelope. What do you know about history?”

Penelope was hurt by Sammy’s words, but she didn’t let it show. Instead, she said, “You’re right, Sammy. I am a pig. But that doesn’t mean I can’t learn about history. After all, don’t judge a book by its cover.”

Sammy was taken aback by Penelope’s words. He had never considered that he might be judging her based on her appearance.

“You’re right, Penelope,” Sammy said, his voice softer now. “I shouldn’t have judged you. I’m sorry.”

Penelope smiled. “It’s okay, Sammy. We all make mistakes. The important thing is that we learn from them.”

From that day on, Sammy stopped judging others based on their appearance. He and Penelope became the best of friends, and they spent many happy days reading books and learning about the world together.

The moral of the story is: don’t judge a book by its cover. It is important to look beyond someone’s appearance and get to know them for who they truly are. After all, everyone has something unique and valuable to offer.

SARAH AND OMAR

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, there was a prestigious university where students from all walks of life came to learn and grow. Among the many students were two friends, Sarah, a Jewish girl, and Omar, a Palestinian boy. They were both bright and ambitious, and they quickly became inseparable.

One day, Sarah and Omar decided to join the university’s investment club to learn about the exciting world of finance. The club’s first lesson was about the importance of making decisions and sticking to them. The wise old professor told them, “In the world of finance, you must be decisive. Don’t hedge your bets, for indecision is the enemy of success.”

Sarah and Omar took the professor’s words to heart and began to invest in various stocks and bonds. However, they soon realized that the world of finance was not as straightforward as they had thought. There were risks and rewards, ups and downs, and sometimes, it was difficult to know which path to take.

As they continued to learn and grow, Sarah and Omar found themselves facing a difficult decision. A new company had emerged, promising great returns but with a high level of risk. Sarah was hesitant, fearing the potential losses. Omar, on the other hand, was eager to take the risk, believing in the company’s potential for growth.

In the end, Sarah decided to hedge her bets, investing only a small amount in the new company while keeping the majority of her funds in safer investments. Omar, however, went all in, believing in the company’s potential.

As time passed, the new company flourished, and Omar’s investment grew exponentially. Sarah, on the other hand, saw only modest gains from her smaller investment. She realized that by hedging her bets, she had missed out on the opportunity for greater success.

Moral: Don’t hedge your bets, for indecision is the enemy of success. Sometimes, you must take a leap of faith and trust in your decisions.

THE WOLF AND THE SQUIRREL

Once upon a time in the lush forests of Wokeville, there lived a Wolf and a Squirrel. The Wolf was a proud creature, always boasting about his speed and strength. He would often mock the Squirrel for being small and slow, saying, “You’ll never get anywhere in life, you silly little thing.”

But the Squirrel was not one to be discouraged. He knew that his strength lay in his determination and perseverance. He would often reply to the Wolf, “Slow and steady wins the race, my friend. One day, you’ll see.”

One sunny day, the Wolf and the Squirrel decided to have a race. The Wolf, confident in his abilities, laughed and said, “This will be the easiest race of my life.” The Squirrel, on the other hand, simply smiled and said, “We shall see.”

The race began, and the Wolf sprinted ahead, leaving the Squirrel far behind. But the Wolf was so focused on his speed that he didn’t notice the obstacles in his path. He tripped over a fallen branch and tumbled into a ditch.

The Squirrel, on the other hand, moved slowly but steadily. He carefully navigated the obstacles in his path, never losing sight of his goal. He even stopped to help a fallen bird, earning the admiration of the forest creatures.

In the end, the Squirrel reached the finish line first, while the Wolf was still struggling to get out of the ditch. The Wolf was humbled and realized that speed alone was not enough. He apologized to the Squirrel and admitted, “You were right, my friend. Slow and steady does indeed win the race.”

The moral of the story is that determination and perseverance are just as important as speed and strength. It’s not about how fast you can go, but about how far you can go without giving up.

Even After His Father Was Found Alive

It’s bad enough that police put on blinders when they first decide who “did it” and then direct all their energy to proving it, such that they fail to consider other evidence, other possible perpetrators. It’s even worse when they use interrogation techniques designed solely to coerce a confession, even if completely false, rather than accurate of voluntary. But what Fontana, California, detectives did to Tony Perez Jr. was even worse.

Within hours after Thomas Perez Jr. called police to report his father missing, he found himself in a tiny interrogation room confronted by Fontana detectives determined to extract a confession that he killed his dad. Continue reading

What’s In A Flag?

I had no idea what to make of Justice Sam Alito’s upside down flag, although his putting that on his wife when he lives in the house and the flag is as much his as hers, was very poor form. But now a second flag, the Appeal to Heaven?

According to the New York Times, the flag can now be seen as “a symbol of support [1] for former President Donald J. Trump, [2] for a religious strand of the ‘Stop the Steal’ campaign and [3] for a push to remake American government in Christian terms.” A bit of a hodgepodge to be sure. Did Mr. or Mrs. Alito choose to fly this flag to “stop the steal” nearly three years after the election? That seems a stretch. Again, there is no actual evidence of this, but countless news stories, and politicians, will accept this insinuation as obvious.

Aside from these flags reflecting exceptionally poor and conflicted judgment by Alito, who should have remained above such symbolism in order to maintain the appearance of impartiality and the integrity of the Supreme Court, what does this mean? What should be done about it? Is this much ado about nothing or time for Alito to recuse himself? Continue reading

Halkides: Brandon Woodruff And The Murder Of His Parents

Ed. Note: Chris Halkides has been kind enough to try to make us lawyers smarter by dumbing down science enough that we have a small chance of understanding how it’s being used to wrongfully convict and, in some cases, execute defendants. Chris graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison with a Ph.D. in biochemistry, and teaches biochemistry, organic chemistry, and forensic chemistry at the University of North Carolina, Wilmington.

In 2009, Brandon Woodruff was convicted of murdering his parents Norma and Dennis in their new home in Royse City, Texas in 2005.  His parents were both shot and stabbed multiple times in what might have been a personal cause homicide. The prosecution hypothesized that Brandon killed them over tensions arising from his being gay having poor grades in college, and possibly from his overspending and appearing in a couple of adult films. There was no evidence for an argument; there is evidence that the police and the jury were anti-gay. It was repeatedly stated at his trial,  “If he could lie about being gay, he could lie about killing his parents.” Continue reading

Housekeeping: A Procedure

Sorry for not posting yesterday, and there will be no post today either. I had a procedure yesterday and I’m not up to writing yet. Hopefully, I’ll be back in action in a day or two.

Trump And The “Another Crime” Problem

For all the former prosecutors on the payroll at MSNBC, the one thing that goes wholly unmentioned is that the “hush money” case against Trump for falsifying business records is a misdemeanor unless it’s in furtherance of another crime.

But dreadful isn’t a synonym for criminal, and nothing about the terrible facts of the case has eased my legal concerns. From the beginning, it has been obvious that the facts of the case are damning, but the law is cloudy. The reason is simple: To secure a felony conviction, the prosecutor has to prove that Trump falsified business records with an “intent to defraud that included an intent to commit another crime or to aid or conceal the commission thereof.”

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