A friend of mine told me about his going to couples therapy. Both he and his wife assumed the therapist would listen to their respective stories, decide which one was right, and name a winner in the marriage game. The winner would do a happy dance while the loser would acknowledge defeat. It didn’t turn out that way.
Instead, the therapist explained how both he and his wife were entitled to their feelings, offered some ideas for how to disagree more productively and awarded no points to either side. After a few sessions, they begged off. They finally had one point of complete agreement, that couples therapy was a waste of money.
Psychology is about feelings, and can accommodate contradictory feelings. Law cannot. My friend wanted a verdict, and instead got a tummy rub. It resolved nothing, when their purpose in going was resolution. The New York Times offers an editorial on campus rape that does the same.
Both campus activists who believe there’s an epidemic of sexual assault and skeptics who doubt there’s a widespread problem can at least agree that a clearer picture would be useful.
