It’s been quite the week, dear readers. We recently had a flood of in-law…I mean rabid squirrels descend on my quiet mountain home. Sometimes one needs a vacation after dealing with a rabid squirrel infestation.

Anyway, with my wits sorely needing a break, I thought it time we played a bit of a game. Continue reading →

Right wing provocateur Andrew Breitbart once said “Politics flows downstream from culture.”

Sun-Tzu said in “The Art of War,” “If you know the enemy and you know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.”

With these sayings in mind and a dash of masochism in my heart, I started reading Ta-Nehisi Coates’ run* on “Captain America,” a seminal Marvel title I was sure he’d fuck up on some level. Continue reading →

Dear Ms. Lindsay:

I read your recent essay in Vulture about your desire to leave the public life and return to the peace of being a private figure. That is, I made a good faith attempt to read your insipid drivel before giving up and moving on.

Your decision to leave celebrity behind is commendable. You were the first woman of color to receive a first impression rose on The Bachelor. And being the first black Bachelorette was definitely an accomplishment. I can’t say I remember much about your season, but I treat this stuff like some folks treat sports–you keep up with the basics for polite conversation. Continue reading →

Prefatory note: Thanks to my hacker contact, “BlueDragon72,” I intercepted this email before it reached its intended destination. I think you’ll find it interesting.—CLS

Dear Sheriff Roy:

Thank you for sending me to Disney World with Nana Wentzel and Deputies Castle and Sims. I know I did a bad thing shoving the baton up that Fed’s backside, but no one disrespects my commanding officer like that. Continue reading →

Sheriff Roy Templeton instinctively reached for his sidearm when the power went out at the Mud Lick Sheriff’s Department. Stuff like this wasn’t supposed to happen when you had two running recursive generators for instances when Old Man Cocke tried to pick a fight with a transformer.

Someone did this on purpose, the Sheriff thought. Assuming a standing defensive position, the Sheriff began checking each room in the station for potential intruders. He’d made it to the front desk when power returned to the building. Continue reading →

Like many adult males, I recently sat through the “Friends” reunion. As I spend the rest of the month perusing all the DC Comics material on HBO Max, I realized we’re overlooking a valuable idea in the criminal justice system.

We need our own Suicide Squad.

If you’re not familiar with the Suicide Squad, they’re a team of some of the worst villains the DC Universe could dream up. Each has a small bomb implanted in their neck. If any gets out of line or tries to escape during a mission, a commanding officer activates the bomb, blowing the subject’s head off their shoulders. Continue reading →

If you’re reading this post, you probably love words. If you’re reading this and involved in the legal profession in any fashion, you probably love swear words. Lawyers, particularly criminal defense and family lawyers, use swear words more often than they would likely admit.

That’s why the book “Nine Nasty Words: English in The Gutter, Then, Now and Forever” by John McWhorter is such an interesting read. If we’re going to use these words, it would do us well to learn something about them. And who better to teach us than a guy like McWhorter, a linguist and English professor at Columbia University. Continue reading →

Millions of Americans and their authoritarian elected leaders reacted in shock and disbelief when Dr. Anthony Fauci, America’s appointed Public Health Jesus by the mainstream media, announced alongside the CDC that fully vaccinated people no longer have to wear masks in most public settings.

The sudden reversal in policy prompted many to question if this was Fauci indeed. Continue reading →

Jan:

Let’s get acquainted. You’re a journalist at the New York Times, a former newspaper. Assigned to cover vaccine rollout, you decided to figure out why some people aren’t getting the COVID-19 vaccine.

I’m Chris. I’m from Greeneville, Tennessee. Born and raised.

And after this hatchet job you wrote, you and I have a problem. Continue reading →

“Vince McMahon is going to jail for dealing steroids,” my friend Andy told me one day at school.

We were kids. Neither of us knew what steroids were. We knew drugs were bad, and the guy who everyone said ran the WWF was being accused of dealing them.

What no one knew was the acquittal of Vince McMahon in what would later be called “The Steroid Trial” helped shape the face of professional wrestling for decades to come. Although it’s easy to look back now and see this as a monumental fuck-up of a federal case, few people realize Vince had an old rival holed up in Stamford, Connecticut in case of a guilty verdict to smooth over the transfer of power within the top American wrestling promotion at the time. Continue reading →