Prefatory note: my hacker contact, BlueDragon72, who totally isn’t TechDirt’s Tim Cushing, sent me this today. I think y’all will like this. –CLS
May 1, 2021
FROM: Templeton, Roy ([email protected])
TO: Belichick, Bill ([email protected])
SUBJECT: QB Problem
Dear Coach Belichick: Continue reading
Ed. Note: Another debate has broken out at SJ! Fault Lines alumni Mario Machado and Christopher Seaton are ready to slug it out to the following question: “Resolved: It is in the best interests of the American public to pursue a “national divorce.” Chris will take the affirmative while Mario argues the negative. Chris’ argument follows, and you can read Mario’s here.
Abraham Lincoln warned us back in 1858, “A house divided cannot stand.” One hundred and sixty-three years later and we still haven’t wised up to what he really meant.
Our national division’s brewed for some time. If one wanted to put a pin at the precise moment in history where the country fractured, an argument can be made for the moment Hillary Clinton declared half of us “a basket of deplorables.” Continue reading
The mood at the Knoll was different. That wasn’t necessarily good.
For starters, Jesse Custer left town three days earlier, citing a desire to attend a “religious retreat.” That was bullshit and everyone knew the Pub’s proprietor was headed to Vegas, but no one bothered the lapsed minister over it.
Tulip O’Hare, Custer’s long-time girlfriend, tended bar while Cass watched the door. Cass tried repeatedly to get Tulip let him have a go behind the bar. Tulip rejected the Irishman every time.
Rule one, Tulip thought. Never let Cassidy behind the bar. He’s at the door for a reason. Continue reading
I took up lock picking recently.
The idea came in a moment when I was cleaning out the kids’ toy room and came across a pick set I’d ordered a couple years ago but never really used. So I watched a couple of YouTube tutorials, read a manual, and started working on “bypassing pin tumblers.”
It was hard at first. Really, really hard. And because I’m a stubborn son of a bitch and won’t let something go until I get it, I kept a pick set and practice padlock with me all the time. Continue reading
The following is an article from a British tabloid. I want you to soak in the headline. Bask in its glory. Then read the piece and come back here.
Mars Bars up arse champ branded a cheat for using the small multipack ones
Ed. Note: Another debate has broken out at SJ! Chris Seaton has called the question:
Resolved: in the interests of public health, safety, and reviving a struggling economy, the United States should require vaccine credentials for all citizens 18 years of age or older.
Chris will be taking the affirmative, and I will be taking the negative. Chris’s post follows, and I do my lame best here.
As you’re reading this, America is well over a year past “two weeks to slow the spread” of COVID-19. Many small businesses are gone. School children haven’t seen friends or teachers in person for over a year. We’re not to leave our homes without at least two face diapers over our nose and mouth. Our current way of life isn’t sustainable. Continue reading
“Hey kiddo,” I called to my son on Monday of this week, “Spider-Man is on TV. Want to watch?”
My son, a huge Spider-Man enthusiast, put a tablet down to watch “The Amazing Spider-Man 2,” a movie I found during a search on Hulu to try and bond with my son. Over the next three days, I subjected myself to the single most godawful movie ever created.
And you bastards are going to suffer with me. Continue reading
MARCH 18, 2021
4:45 AM
Deputy Ernesto Miranda and Patrolman Ray Stevens quietly entered the dimly lit bullpen of the Mud Lick Sheriff’s Department. Both men were, to put it charitably, extremely hung over.
It wasn’t as if this was unexpected. The night before, both men attended the Grassy Knoll Pub’s “Irish Day” celebration, where the citizens of Mud Lick, like many Americans, used the holiday to get stinking drunk and pretend to be Irish.
Miranda moved through the office quietly, turning on lights, booting up his desk computer and starting a pot of coffee. Stevens, a new transfer, crashed into a file cabinet. Continue reading
I keep a notebook with me during the week. If a thought strikes me as worth writing down, I do it as soon as it comes to me (with reasonable safety precautions taken, of course).
These may seem deep, asinine, or just vanilla level HuffPo takes. You decide.
Everyone says money can’t buy happiness, but having money makes it easier to not worry about money. Continue reading
The “Brawl For All” is arguably the worst idea in wrestling history. A Toughman style tournament between WWF wrestlers for bragging rights and a cash prize, the Brawl For All would end two careers, shelve several men with injuries and cost the WWF five million dollars in one night.
Vince Russo, a New Yorker who caught the WWF brass’ attention with his “Jerry Springer” style of television writing, sold the “Brawl For All” as a way of injecting much needed realism into WWF shows. If audiences were tuning in for the moments the show seemed real, why not make the in-ring action real? Continue reading