The Artifice Of Super-dee-Duper Intelligence

Trump signed an Executive Order “officially” renaming Artificial Intelligence. Notwithstanding the fact that AI is the ubiquitous worldwide term to describe the technology, including its definition under 15 USC § 9401(3), Trump felt compelled to change it. Perhaps this was an assertion of his power and authority to prove his dominance.

Perhaps this was his way of changing the narrative, to make the bad rap of its potential as an existential threat to humanity disappear, by making the name more positive than the implication of artificiality, as if the extermination of mankind would somehow go down easier if it was called “super.” Perhaps the word “artificial” had too many syllables for his liking, which would explain why, during his polling of his Truth Social followers, the term “superior” intelligence was rejected as too hard to say.

In any event, Trump really likes AI. Trump loves AI Data Centers, asserting that any community that doesn’t want one in its midst is stupid as they will make locals rich. He’s gone so far as to suggest that communities embracing Data Centers will get a dividend, meaning a check, much like the $5000 check promised every American adult if the Republicans win Congress in the midterms. Who doesn’t love to be bribed?

Why Trump eschews the threat presented by AI is unclear. Perhaps it’s about his desire for America to lead the AI race against China. Perhaps he has a financial stake in its outcome. Heck, he likes money even more than power. Perhaps it’s both. Perhaps it’s something else. His shtick is that the name “artificial” is an inaccurate name, together with the threat being a hoax perpetrated by the Dumocrats (note, no “b” since many people don’t know how “dumb” is spelled) when Americans, in Trump’s fever dream, overwhelmingly love AI and want Data Centers. Is that really the problem with the word “artificial”?

Trump held a meeting with “tech titans” at the White House, designed to both get a bunch of nerds possessed of far greater wealth than Trump on board and create a talking point memo to calm the huddled masses. If you’re wondering what was going on in the minds of these extraordinarily intelligent men, sitting in a room with the technologically challenged Trump pontificating at them, you’re not alone. Ultimately, they signed off on the “Joint Commitment On Frontier Responsibilities,” a one-page document because who can read more than one page?

It was signed by the big players in the AI game on one side and Trump on the other. That the signature page was crafted this way is probably not accidental.

Trump characterized this as a “Constitution” that’s “morally binding” on its signatories, despite it being neither remotely constitutional nor binding upon anyone.

There is an old aphorism about putting a loaded gun in the hands of a child. Trump has, at least to his satisfaction, “fixed” our AI problems by changing its name and signing a toothless yet vapid statement about oversight. Even if you don’t trust the “tech titans” to police their ugly baby, surely you trust Trump to protect humanity from extinction by Super-dee-Duper Intelligence.


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7 thoughts on “The Artifice Of Super-dee-Duper Intelligence”

  1. Ray

    Like all Romans our Optimus Maximus gravitates to superlatives. It is an ancient practice employed by the greatest rhetoricians. Cicero, the Divine Julius (also the Pontifex Maximus), the Roman Senate when addressing Augustus (the former Octavius, formerly Octavian). Super Intelligence is in this tradition. Marble triumphal arches crowned with gold statuary. Gladiatorial combats on the South lawn. Chariot racing (now known as NASCAR) in the capital city to celebrate year CCL. Finally an emperor with the testosterone to rename all our maps to reflect the Gulf of America, and Lake America. And Caesar can be generous too. Didn’t he keep the Kennedy under his own glorious name on the former Kennedy Center? Military conquests all over the world. Rogue kings in the provinces (Maduro) brought to Rome in chains. It all fits. Why should the momentum not touch Super Intelligence? It’s all so glorious to behold. To live in such times. Hail Augustus Trump!

  2. Brendan Wendt

    You know an accord is super important and binding when the signature line contains an extremely obvious typo.

  3. JS

    Surely since Super AI (not quite with the same ring as Superman) is so great, he’ll cede part of Mar a Lago for one? After all, if they’re so good, why wouldn’t he want one in his backyard?

  4. John Barleycorn

    Did you notice under Trump’s signature how “United” is misspelled?

    Don’t worry it will get worse….

    Cheers!

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